Hourglass
by AgateLinks
Summary: “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” Kain x Ruka.
1. A Friend's Request

**Author's note:** Thank you for YenGirl, who encourage me to write and also spare her time to review the beta of this story. You're the best! -hugs-

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Vampire Knight, and never wished to...

* * *

"_It's because I'm always so selfish._

_Because I knew that I'm your only weakness,_

_that's why I put my trust in you…"_

**Chapter 1. A Friend's Request**

Akatsuki Kain dropped his head to the table and shut his eyes tightly when the algebra teacher finally slammed shut his text book. Finally, the last class for tonight is over. The teacher started to gather the rest of his belongings then left the sleepy and mostly relieved night class students.

Still with his head on the table, Kain gave a quick glance towards his wristwatch. It was almost two thirty in the morning. It seemed that the damn teacher really took his time tonight, torturing all the holiday-minded students with his rants regarding their last exam result. Everyone knew he did it obviously because tomorrow would be the start of their long holiday. Kain let out a small sigh, recalling that the teacher also didn't forget to leave a pile of homework to be done.

It was not that he hated algebra. In fact he was pretty good at it. His mark for the subject had always been above average. But apparently in his case, capability didn't always fall in compliance with enjoyment. Particularly tonight.

Someone kicked at Kain's chair. "Yo!! Still alive?"

Straightening his body, Kain gave his cousin a look of chagrin. "Enjoying the time of your life are you, Hanabusa Aidou?" he inquired darkly and started to collect his scattered text books.

"Hey, don't be so depressed! Tomorrow will be the start of our holiday. We should have some fun," Aidou gave light pats on Kain's back while plastering a huge self-satisfied grin on his face. He knew well that Kain disliked the algebra class − and also its teacher. So unlike himself who never had any real complaints for it. He enjoyed algebra class more than any other subject, because it was when he usually had the time to sleep through the class. The teacher also never bothered to wake him up anyway. Aidou suspected it was because the teacher knew it would not make any big difference whether he had been awake or not in his class. After all, Aidou always had the highest mark on every algebra exam.

"Yeah… it will be, I'm sure. We will have fun. Fun with Algebra, fun with history, fun with a load of homework" Kain replied sourly under his breath. "Anyway, so how many people who will join us tomorrow?" he asked. As usual, almost every year at the start of long holiday, Aidou invited his friends to stay at one of his family mansions and spend their time together. It was one occasion that Kain always looked forward to, since he could spend the days relaxing and didn't have to worry about Aidou breaking Academy rules. The number of participants itself was relatively unchanged from year to year, unless someone had his/her family matters to be taken care of.

"Hm, let's see… Kaname-sama, Takuma, Senri, Rima, Seiren, including you and me…" he quickly counted. "…There will be seven then."

Kain flicked an eyebrow up. "Eight. You forgot to count Ruka," he reminded Aidou.

Aidou shook his head. "No, I'm not. Ruka cancelled. She said that her family had summoned her yesterday evening. There are some family matters, it seems, so she had to spend her holiday at her own home," he said ruefully.

"Oh?" Kain knitted his eyebrow together and continued to pack the rest of his things. So, Ruka won't be joining them this time. That was unusual. "Is there something wrong? Did she said what kind of family matter?" he asked Aidou again casually, his hands deftly arranging his books into one tidy pile before fastening them with a special elastic strap, while his eyes checked the table drawer to make sure there were no things he had missed out. He was careful to give more attention tonight since he knew that if he did accidentally leave one or two things that he needed there, he would only be able to retrieve it the next month.

Aidou patiently waited for his cousin's screening habit. He ran his fingers through his blond hair absent-mindedly. "She did not say anything more about it yesterday. But…" he paused, looking a bit unsure. His tone made Kain shifted his gaze from the drawer towards him suspiciously. "She did seem a little… uneasy… when she said it, though," he finished quietly, looking towards a group of students who chatted excitedly about their plan for holiday. After a few seconds of silence, Aidou added, "Well, you can ask her by yourself if you really want to know…" he shrugged and turned on his heel, ready to leave the class.

Kain got up from his seat to follow Aidou back to their dorm but barely registering doing so. His mind was still busy processing the piece of information he had just received. Uneasy? Had she really been uneasy? Kain did not sense anything unusual with Ruka today, though. She looked fine and was sitting calmly undisturbed all through the classes.

And what family matters exactly? It was not likely that someone in her household had been sick − he was sure of it – since vampires couldn't get sick, unless on rare cases when one was born with an unexpectedly poor health. It was also unlikely to be family business matters, since the Souen family already had three sons to run their business. Or maybe one of Ruka's relatives wanted to get married, so she was being summoned back to attend the wedding party? That's one possibility, but why hadn't he heard anyone say anything at all about it? And something in the way Aidou had said it sounded like there's something going on...

He immediately shrugged off the thoughts, knowing well that Aidou sometimes love to overreact. Well, maybe the reason would be as simple as her mother missed her and all. But of course he would not know that for sure, if he didn't ask her in the first place.

He frowned and rubbed his temple distractedly, then decided that he would better go and ask Ruka than keep on guessing. Tomorrow afternoon before they departed would be a suitable time, just to make sure if everything was all right. It certainly wouldn't hurt to ask, would it? They have been a close friends since childhood anyway, almost like brother and sister. Ruka often didn't mind sharing her thoughts with him more than she would with Aidou. So maybe he could try to coax the reason out of her which she could not or dare not say to Aidou.

_If_, there were any reason at all. Hopefully that brat cousin of his had been telling him the truth and not exaggerating matters, if not he would surely make a fool of himself.

--

A distinct sound of something heavy fell to the floor awokened Kain with a start. He shot upright in his bed and quickly scanned his surroundings. The room was quite dark, but he had no problem at all as his acute vampire sight swept the floor.

His eyes locked onto a thick leather bound encyclopaedia, lying on the floor just right below Aidou's bed. Exhaling tiredly, Kain forced his body to relax, though his heart was still beating wildly against his ribcage. He got up from his bed and walked toward the book. Undoubtedly, this must be Aidou's handiwork. That annoying jerk must had fallen asleep again while reading the book and nudged it out of his bed, or tossed too much in his sleep and accidentally knocked the pile of books placed near his head.

For a few seconds Kain resisted the urge to pick up the damn encyclopaedia and slam it down on Aidou's sleeping form. Not fair he was the only one awake. This also hadn't been the first time Kain had his sleep being interrupted by something which fell off Aidou's bed. He muttered heated curses under his breath. Why must Aidou put so much weird stuff − which any other person would normally put on a table − on his bed? Books for example. A lot of them. And also dirty clothes, some stationary, bottle cap, damp towel, pins, hair brush, candy wrap, whatever love letter he got from his Day Dorm fangirls… in short, almost everything that he could put his hands on. Such a messy person, Kain shook his head in dismay. If Kaname had found Aidou − _again_ − like this, he would surely be more than just furious.

Kain bent down and picked the encyclopaedia from the floor. His eyes caught a few pink colored letter sheets scattered on the floor not far from the book. He picked those up also. The sheets smelled nice, he sniffed. Unquestionably must be from one of Aidou's fangirls. Eyeing both objects in his hands Kain couldn't stop an amused smirk that flashed across his handsome features. Despite having a herd of fangirls, ready to throw themselves anytime at his feet, the only one Aidou picked to be his loyal bed partner was his books.

Kain left the encyclopedia and the letters on Aidou's table then climbed back to his bed. Tucking himself under his still warm blanket once again, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes − willing to go back to sleep.

Which, as he predicted, refused to happen.

Frustrated from trying, he opened his eyes again in defeat. Muttering curses for the second time in fifteen minutes, he sat up and swung his leg down to the floor. It was only six-thirty in the morning. Definately far too early for a healthy vampire to wake up. He sat there for a few minutes, feeling agitated as hell and glaring daggers at his sleeping cousin. So much for his hard effort to fall asleep earlier, just to be awakened up an hour later.

Apparently wide awake and have nothing to do now, he finally got up and put a shirt over his bare torso. Maybe he would sneak up the kitchen to make himself a drink. He emerged from his room and walked down the empty corridor heading first for the bathroom.

A familiar sweet scent hung in the fresh morning air stopped him in his track. What the...? He frowned and turned on his heel, automatically followed the scent.

"Ruka."

Ruka appeared to be sitting alone on the top of corridor's waist-high wall, still dressed in her sleeping attire that she covered with a long cotton coat and looking out at the Moon Dorm's inner garden. She must have been deep in thoughts and oblivious to her surroundings because she gave a slight jerk at Kain's voice behind her.

She half turned her face to see Kain approaching, but then quickly looked away again. "Ah, it's you," she said in small voice. Her hand flew to her face.

Something inside Kain sank. Ruka might be quick, but she still failed to hide the fact that she had been sitting there crying. Even now Kain noticed her subtle hands movement wiping away her tears.

He wondered what had caused her to be crying like that. The first thought that slid into his mind was it must be about Kaname again. It was widely known amongst the Night Class students that Ruka was very fond of Kaname. Even though Kaname had never taken any real interest on her. But then the thought was swiftly replaced with what he had heard from Aidou a few hours ago.

Kain swallowed hard. Something must be really bad, he thought.

"What are you doing at this kind of hour?" Kain inquired softly, pretending not aware of her crying, since she appeared trying to hide it from him. He approached Ruka a few steps closer.

"That's my line too, you know," she replied him with a hint of forced cheerfulness on her voice. She turned again facing him, looked a little flushed but without the remnants of tears in her eyes. Her sweet elusive scent was teasing Kain's senses as the wind gently playing it around him.

Kain regarded her for a second. "Can't go back too sleep. Aidou's deed," he leaned on wall pillar next to Ruka's sitting spot. His hands were folded in front of his chest.

"Wishing you could get your own room, huh?" Ruka commented, reading his mind. Kain give her a half smile.

They both fell silent for a while as Ruka resumed her vacant gaze towards the garden. Kain started to battle against himself for whether it would be okay if he asked Ruka about her crying or just skip the subject. He was curious but also didn't want to make Ruka feel more troubled than she already was.

Kain shook his head softly. Since when had he become such an indecisive person?

He should ask if he felt concerned about her. Because they were friends, weren't they? And real close ones too. He cared for her so much that he always went through a great deal of consideration towards any subject which more or less involved her feelings. Her happiness had always been his priority. Had been all he would ever wish for her. Kain would do whatever she asked him to do, if it would make her happy. Like he had always done all this time. Hell, he would go as far as to help her win Kaname's affection if she ever wished it. Even if that meant that he would never had a chance to − to...

Oh, enough! He was thinking too much nonsense. He would ask her now, for God's sake! It was just a question anyway, and was also entirely up to her whether to answer or not.

"Hey, Ruka…"

"Akatsuki, I…"

They both spoke at the same time. "You go first," Kain suggested.

Ruka gave him a kind of uncertain look. "Would you..." her voice trailed out a little unsteady. She quickly looked away and cleared her throat.

She started again, this time not meeting Kain's dusky eyes but with a more steady voice and clear determined eyes. "Would you like to come with me to my home?"

Kain must had been dreaming. He must have had fallen asleep exactly when he was standing and had dreamt the entire conversation. Kain was certain he heard it all wrong. He pushed himself off the pillar to stare at Ruka. "What did you say?" he inquired. His heart started to race without any sensible reason.

She gave him a weary look and repeated her question once again.

Kain froze to the spot. So he didn't hear it wrong. Ruka really asked for his companion. But why? Why did she need him to come with her? Kain was totally clueless. He wanted to ask, but instead he heard himself asked, "Alone?"

Ruka instantly looked dejected, and Kain swore inwardly, suddenly feeling so stupid for asking the question. She jumped down from the wall she sat beside the garden, ready to leave. "You don't have to if you're not interested, you know," she mumbled softly.

"Wait. I'm not saying that I'm not interested," Kain replied. He quickly grabbed her shoulder in order to prevent her leaving the place.

Ruka stopped and hesitantly turned to face him, sensing the 'but' at the tail of his sentence.

Kain ran his finger through his wind-tousled hair. She had misunderstood him. Did she really think that he would easily throw away her request? After all the years he'd loyally heeded to each of her other requests? Like breaking Academy rules countless times, standing against Zero Kiryuu − the school prefect − as she ordered, supporting the feelings she had for Kaname, giving her comfort and protection when she needed it. Kain was literally Ruka's lap dog. And if she thought that he will turned her down now, she certainly needed to learn more about him.

Unfortunately, life and past experience had taught Kain never to blindly conform to another person's request which didn't contain at least some explanation. Up until now, except for requests from someone he really trusted − like Kaname, for example − Kain had always reasoned. "I just wanted to know why," he said sternly.

Ruka shifted uncomfortably on her feet, uptight and not quite daring to hold his searching eyes. Kain could see a mixture of emotions on her beautiful face − anticipation, uncertainty, desperation, reluctance, and guilt − though she deliberately tried to hide it. "I… can't explain it now, maybe later…" she said quietly. "For now, just answer yes or no, would you?"

Okay… this had never occurred before. Ruka had just denied his rights for an explanation. Kain frowned a little. Logically, Kain knew that he was supposed to insist on getting some reason or else decline her request. But somehow Ruka's unspoken but clear request − _please trust me…_ − inside her silent pleading eyes, stirred something inside him and he knew instantly that he had no other choice but to comply.

"Okay then," he nodded, silently contented to notice the way Ruka's tense shoulders started to relax. Relieve was clearly written all over her face. "So, that's leaves me to give Aidou some explanation. You know, for changing plans so suddenly," Kain ran his finger across his hair. It would be awkward to explain to his cousin that this time he was unable to tag along because he had been invited exclusively to Ruka's place.

"Oh, you don't have to. I think he already kne−w…" Ruka replied swiftly without thinking, and stopped short. A second too late to realize her mistake. She found Kain stunned eyes stared at her intently. She groaned mentally. "I... at least to some… extent," she added stiffly, trying to mend her own mistake in vain. She hurried to turn on her heels, better leave now before Kain started to ask her more questions she couldn't provide with answers. "I'm going back now. Get ready at one pm, will you? And try to get some sleep too…"

Kain was taken aback, a little too dumbstruck to stop her. Aidou _knew_…? That − that pesky-ungrateful-mischievous-bastard knew! But he had been playing dumb with Kain, cunningly suggested him to go ask Ruka himself! Oh wait, this is not the first time Aidou had done this to him, hadn't he? He'd been like this too - hiding something from Kain - when Shizuka Hiou had died at Cross Academy. That time, Kain had been let him.

"Oh, that's not going happen again!" he gritted, snapping out of his dazed state and beginning to sprint back to his room. He promised himself would make Aidou speak this time. A devious grin fashioned his lips. He knew Aidou was still sleeping soundly, but that would definitely be his last concern. After all, he knew a 'perfect' way to wake his cousin…

--


	2. Unfinished Farewell

**Author's note:** I would like to thank you all for the reviews I have received for the first chapter. It really means so much for me since I'm not all that confident with this. I would also like to express my gratitude for YenGirl who had spare her time to beta and correct my 'Engrish' grammar :) and to Blackened Wing who linked this story on her blog. Arigatou gozaimashita... -bow-

**Disclaimer:** I own an old, crappy computer and internet connection, but not Vampire Knight.

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"_I thought that I had_

_my blade sharp enough_

_to severe our bond._

_But in the end_

_I realized that it was me,_

_whose heart not strong enough_

_to do it"_

**Chapter 2. Unfinished Farewell **

For seventeen years of Kain's relatively well-ordered life, if there were days in which he couldn't categorize as 'plain', then it would be those days when he had to take punishment over crimes he did not commit. The real culprit of the crimes, of course, was Aidou and not his at all. But since Kain had been technically inseparable from his cousin, Aidou, it was inevitable that he also received some punishment for whatever menace or disaster Aidou brought along.

It was those days that Kain hated the most. What he actually detested was not the punishment itself, but other people's thought that he had responsibility to make behave Aidou. On those days, his usually easy going mood always turned into one that would have cringed lesser mortals.

However, up until this moment − even though Kain had been more careful to prevent Aidou's impish behavior − nothing had really changed much.

But if one ever wondered if there were other things that Kain hated more than acting as a nanny for Aidou, then it was when he failed to pry something out of him. As laid back and easy going as he was, Kain had naturally avoided to use force on someone else to abide to his will, unless he thought it absolutely necessary. It also took a rather great effort from someone like him to do it. Even so, the failure to achieve this particular objective had always enraged him.

Like he was right now.

It looked like Kain had forgotten how stubborn and difficult Aidou could act sometimes. Because the only thing Kain could fish out of him was his assurance.

Assurance that being held from whatever it was that he refused to divulge right now wouldn't inflict any harm upon Kain.

Yeah, _right_.

_As if_ he would believe Aidou.

The chances of Kain believing Kiryuu, if the silver haired prefect had actually told him that he'd secretly slept with Kaname was far bigger than that of Kain believing in Aidou's words this morning. The only thing he'd started to believe in was that he must've had some sort of debt to Aidou on his previous life. That was why he had such an ill-fated life now alongside his dear cousin.

It also didn't help trying to fathom how the hell Ruka had encouraged Aidou to keep silent for her. It was really unusual for her to share something with Aidou while refusing to do the same with Kain. Honestly, Kain felt betrayed. They made him feel as if he couldn't be trusted.

That, combined with Kain's unsuccessful efforts to interrogate Aidou and his sleep deprivation while doing so, had complimented him with a foul mood for the rest of the day. He just couldn't help it, really.

Ruka was aware of the state he was in when they departed, Kain noticed, but she chose not to mention it. Aidou must have informed her somehow, because she looked all guilty and avoided his cousin's involuntary glare. As they embarked on the express train she'd appeared calm again, so Kain simply ignored her for a while and tried to get some sleep.

Unfortunately, since the train they were riding was rocking all the way and Kain himself was a light sleeper, that made sleeping almost impossible to accomplish. Tired of trying, he opened his eyes again and furtively aimed his attention towards Ruka who sat on his left side − who now looked withdrawn. She leaned her head on her seat's headrest appeared as if also trying to get to sleep, except that her beautiful eyes weren't closed. They were looking out of the train window, expressionless and vacant.

Kain couldn't resist glancing in her direction every now and then. Soon enough his concern and curiosity overrode his own irritation. Ruka's unusual demeanor was radiating a clear warning that something was seriously wrong. And Kain sensed that maybe he was more or less the person causing it.

Maybe his sullen attitude had mislead Ruka to assume that he was angry with her and somehow regretting the fact he'd come along. Well, he clearly didn't. He had been mad with Aidou, but not with Ruka. Nevertheless, if that was what she had been thinking, maybe he should try to clear it up before things got worse.

He had just made up his mind to ask her when he suddenly felt something touched his left shoulder as his nose picked up a flowery sweet scent. He turned his head slowly to the left, half knowing already what had touched his shoulder. Sure enough he saw Ruka's head leaning on him, her eyes closed and her rosy-brown hair softly covering her pale cheek. Her breathing was slow and even in Kain's ear, revealing the fact that she was deeply asleep.

Kain had hardly ever seen Ruka sleeping once they had entered Cross Academy, and he allowed himself the luxury of watching her peaceful and relaxed pose, somehow felt relieved Ruka had finally fallen asleep. It was better than finding her being silent and deep in her thoughts.

After a while, he slowly reached for his traveling jacket, which he had stripped off after they boarded the train, and lightly draped it over Ruka. She was clad only in a cotton jacket over a thin silk blouse, and Kain was worried she might feel cold. She shifted a little closer to him when he did that, but remained asleep.

Kain frowned.

He knew that he shouldn't feel anything out of ordinary just because of Ruka's unconscious gesture. For God's sake, the girl was _sleeping_. But inevitably, he felt warmth spreading inside his chest.

Determined not to acknowledge what he just felt or let his mind drift any further, Kain reached for a portable mp3 player from his pocket. He set the music's volume to the max − hardly giving a damn that it almost blasted his eardrums − and didn't stop until the train arrived at its destination.

--

"Welcome home, Ruka-sama! Welcome to Souen's family residence, Akatsuki Kain-sama!"

Ruka stepped in the foyer of her family ancestral house with Kain tailing behind her back. She stood still for a moment there − ignoring her headservant's greeting − taking in her house surroundings and savoring its familiar atmosphere. It had almost been two years since she had left to stay at Cross Academy but the house still looked exactly like when she had last seen it. Nothing had changed.

Now she turned to face the old headservant. "How are you, Saeko-san?" Ruka greeted the old lady back with a warm smile and stepped forward to give her a proper hug.

Kain watched their reunion with an amused expression on his face. He remembered from his occasional visits to Souen's family residence few years back, that Saeko was the only one whom Ruka had regarded the most. He'd observed that the relationship between Ruka and Saeko had somewhat appeared closer than of Ruka with her mother. Surely enough he saw Saeko's features soften as she hugged Ruka back.

It was also quite interesting to see Ruka definitely stripping off her daily arrogant face she usually wore at the Academy, the moment she stepped into the house.

"How's your trip?" Kain heard Saeko asked while waving her hand to signal the two maids standing behind her to take over Ruka's and Kain's luggage.

"Not bad, I've been sleeping the whole time on the train."

"I was tempted to leave you there, you know," Kain teased, showing a wicked grin. His mood was far improved since he'd finally fallen asleep for an hour while listening to the music. After all, what's done is done. Since he was now here, he decided it was better to play along than being gloomy and defiant.

Ruka shot him a dirty look. "The pot is calling the kettle black! As if I'm the only one who'd fallen asleep," she retorted, inducing a wider grin from Kain. She turned back to Saeko, "Where's everyone? Are Father and Mother in the drawing room again?"

Saeko nodded. "Yes, they have been there since morning. I think Renata-san was working on her latest design. Ryuji-sama and Takehiko-sama have also arrived two hours ago." She added briskly. "But Shigeru-sama sent a message that he might be delayed."

Ruka frowned. So her eldest brother might not coming, it seems. She knew well if Shigeru had stated a line like that, it meant that he actually reluctant to come. Too bad, she actually wanted to seek advice from him. Besides, she really missed Shigeru as he had always been her favorite of brothers, and also the closest one to her.

"And how about grandmother? Is she doing well?"

Kain listened to Saeko's report with interest. The fact that her three older brothers had also been summoned back from their abroad business station strengthened Kain's suspicion that there must be something important going on. Almost certainly, it was the same reason which Ruka and Aidou refused to tell him. He would like to see, really, to what extent Ruka would manage to keep in the dark about it…

Ruka's voice broke Kain's train of thoughts. "Saeko-san, I'm going to offer my greetings to grandmother first, then take a shower afterwards. Would you please show Kain his sleeping quarters?"

Saeko nodded. "My pleasure, Ruka-sama," she turned to Kain. "Akatsuki-sama, you must be tired, please allow me to escort you to your room."

Ruka sauntered off to her grandmother's room while the headservant guided Kain to the third floor guestroom. She knocked twice at the door and waiting for a reply. Having none, she took the liberty of opening the door by herself and slipping inside the room. It was dim there, as expected, with minimal source of light, but her eyes and ears almost instantly discovered the reason why there was no answer to her knock.

Yoshiko Souen appeared not to be alone in her room. Ruka's second brother, Ryuji, was kneeling in front of her, while she sat on her luxurious high-backed Victorian style chair with her face buried in Ryuji's neck.

"Ah.. I'm sorry for intruding, Grandma, Ryuji-nii-san," Ruka muttered her apology automatically, out of habitual reason. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, a little dubious whether to leave or stay, afraid that she might disrupt her grandmother blood-drinking course. It was her fault to not checking first for the presence of blood scent in the air.

Ruka was about to leave, but then stopped because Yoshiko had waved her hand casually, signaling her to stay. So Ruka just removed herself from the door and sat down on one of the chairs. Watching the two of them surreptitiously, she couldn't help but think that, while she saw only familiarity, bond and gentle affection between the two family members in front of her, it must also be a hair-raising sight to any human who happened to witness the same thing. Her lips curved into a wry smile. Just try to take Yuuki Cross to see all this. She dared to bet that the pureblood-turned-human-turned-pureblood would be at least surprised to see this common vampire household activity. She wouldn't even know that blood offering to the older members in a vampire family was a symbol of total respect and affection. Couldn't really blame her, since she had been raised as a human for ten years. No doubt Yuuki would take some time to adjust herself as a vampire, or maybe it would be faster if Kaname taught her himself. Kaname must love her so much, that he was willing to go through so many troubles just...

She stopped abruptly there. The thoughts of Yuuki and Kaname being together suddenly made her stomach sick.

"Why... you have a scary look on your face, little Ruka-chan..." the amused singsong voice draw Ruka's gaze up, straight into a pair of bright sky blue eyes that she knew so well.

Ruka broke into a smile and leapt up to bear-hug Ryuji. "Ryuji-nii-san, you looked great!" actually the word great was a little bland to describe Ryuji Souen's physical appearance. Devastating, would be more appropriate. He was the most handsome one out of the three Souen's family sons. He was six foot one with gleaming dark hair and a perfectly sculpted body that no living female on the planet, vampire or not, could resist his sultry charm. The only flaw he had was the fact that he was now a happily married man.

Ryuji released himself from Ruka's embrace to take a better look at her. "And you still look... like a midget."

"Hey! I'm not midget, it's just you who oversized," Ruka folded her arms in front of her chest and faked a hurt expression at his comment.

He gave her a boyish grin. "Seriously Ruka, you seem no different from the last time I saw you before you went to that vampire… er… civilization school. And you look a little pale too. Got any fresh blood lately?" Ryuji knew well that Cross Academy was distributing blood tablets to their vampire students and he loved to tease Ruka for that, calling her vegetarian.

"Stop teasing your sister, Ryuji!" Yoshiko stepped forward, still dabbing at her blood stained lips. "And get out of my way, would you? I want to see her properly." Ryuji complied. He stepped aside, even though he couldn't entirely erase the smirk off his handsome face.

"Well well… I'm sad to announce that he is right," Yoshiko pointed her thumb at Ryuji direction while shaking her head ruefully. "Though you did grow a little taller." Her gleaming hazel eyes carefully scanned Ruka from head to toe. Ruka just smiled at her grandmother's customary scrutiny that she always gave every family member who came home and greeted her.

"Oh, Grandma… I'm sure it's just due to this room's lighting. But I must admit that your eyes are still as sharp as ever, and of course, as beautiful as ever too," Ruka replied smoothly. She knew, after all, how to turn her Grandmother's attention, as much as how to please her. Yoshiko was clearly the type of woman who appreciated another's compliments on her ever prominent beauty. "So, where's my hug?" Ruka added cunningly.

"I swear you inherited that smart mouth from your father!" Yoshiko snorted, while at the same time not hiding a pleased sparkle in her eyes. She step forward and hugged Ruka warmly. Ruka hugged her back and indulged herself with her grandmother's ever so calming scent. The old lady released her after a while, and patted her back "You looked tired, Ruka, and… smell of someone. Male, I conclude." Yoshiko sniffed softly at Ruka, eyes narrowing speculatively. "Do I get myself a guest, someone I know… or is it because you took that no good public train to get here?"

Ruka swallowed nervously. She hadn't forgotten to strip off the jacket Kain had been covering her with while she slept on the train. But inevitably his scent was still clinging all over her, drawing her Grandmother's suspicion. Deciding that she should better reveal the truth, because sooner of later her Grandmother would know, she shrugged off-handedly and proceeded to inform her. "It's Akatsuki, Grandma. He's been traveling with me."

Yoshiko's mouth formed a small 'O' and her eyes lit up in comprehension. "Ah, Kain's family son? Did his brat of a cousin come with him too?" she asked Ruka rather disdainfully, while Ryuji suppressed a laugh behind her. Ruka shot him a warning look, even though she felt like grinning herself.

"Grandma...!" Ruka exclaimed, sounding torn between disbelief and amusement. "Please, he's got a name. It's Aidou Hanabusa, and no, he's not coming." Her grandmother was always like that, stern and sharp-tongued, but Ruka also knew that she was all bark and no bite. Yoshiko snorted once again at her words, which Ruka take as a good sign, considering she usually performed no less than an outburst over things she didn't approve. She grabbed her chance fast, before she was being asked for the reason why Kain had followed her home. "Well, I'll take my leave now, Grandma, I need my shower before dinner. I don't wanna be late."

Yoshiko nodded, and Ruka gladly went out. She climbed the grand staircase heading out to second floor. Her own bedroom was located there, right under the guestroom. Like the other parts of the house, her bedroom also didn't show any difference since the last time she left it. Except for the noticeable freshly made bed sheets, curtains and recently cleaned dust from its furniture, the room seemed and smelled the same.

She dropped her purse on the bed, and walked to the dresser to choose a suitable dress to wear for dinner. She had left half of her clothes here and brought the rest to Cross Academy. But considering she would only be here for a month, she did not bring many clothes back. Ruka carefully scanned the dresses one by one. She should wear something more formal than casual tonight in knowledge that her grandmother would also join the family dinner. Her hand stopped at a white lacy dress. She pulled it hesitantly out of the dresser, and then turned to examine her own reflection with the dress on a full length mirror. The dress looked beautiful on her. Ruka recognized in an instant that it was the dress she had wore three years ago when she accompanied her father to Ichijo mansion for the first time.

She remembered her father had left her alone in the garden while he went to discuss some important matters with Asato Ichijo. That was when Kaname and Takuma had strolled down to the garden and found her standing by the rose bushes. Kaname recognized Ruka instantly – he nodded and gave her a courteous smile. Then Takuma, the one who always possessed a spontaneous character, started to compliment her on her dress, which color had resembled the white rose bush she'd been standing next to.

_"Wow, you looked beautiful wearing white, Ruka. Don't you think so, Kaname-sama?"_

_"...yes, you're right."_

He had not said anything else, but his gaze held unmistakable silent admiration for her. Both his captivating crimson-brown eyes had looked at her so intently...

The next time Ruka had seen that kind of look again in his eyes was when they had entered Cross Academy. It had not been directed at her, but at an ordinary human girl named Yuuki Cross. The look had never been Ruka's anymore. Her first had also been her last…

A soft knock on the door snapped Ruka out of her reminiscing. She blinked, focused back at the mirror... and gasped softly.

She'd been crying.

Her mirror image showed a beautiful rosy-brown haired girl holding a white dress, crying. A teardrop ran freely down her flushed cheek.

Confused, Ruka quickly wiped her tears away. When had she started to cry? Didn't she just promise herself today that she would never again cry for Kaname? That it would be the last time, this morning, that she would ever shed tears for him? She had cried only for the sake of her past…

Ruka had accepted the fact that she had to move on, and that Kaname would never be hers. It wasn't an easy thing to do. She had been in love with Kaname for years, since she was very young. In fact it was all started on the day Ruka heard people talked about him for the first time. It took all the willpower she possessed just to build her resolution to forget him. But at last she managed to end her infatuation over Kaname. Or at least that's how Ruka thought before she found out dazedly that she had been crying. Otherwise, she wouldn't be standing here in her home, preparing to...

"Ruka-sama?" there was more knocking on the door.

Ruka drew in a shaky breath and let the dress fall from her grasp to the carpeted floor.

She cleared her still tightened throat and answered the call. "Yes?" It must be one of the maids, she thought, as she smelled a faint scent of fresh laundry slipping slowly into her bedroom. "Who is it!?" she shouted a reply, aware that her room had been furnished with soundproofed material to ensure her privacy, to make it difficult for anybody outside the room caught any sounds from inside, unless it had been loud.

"Um... I'm Aya... Hanagisawa-san sent me to inform Ruka-sama that dinner will be ready in an hour," replied a soft female voice.

"Very well, thank you, Aya,"

The maid walked away with brisk steps.

Ruka walked back to the dresser and retrieved another dress. This time she chose a cream colored silk blouse and a knee-length matching pleated skirt. She left the clothes on her bed and went to shower.

Fifteen minutes later and thoroughly refreshed, Ruka once again standing in front of the mirror carefully eyeing her own appearance. She looked deceitfully composed and confident now.

"_Liar…_" she whispered accusingly. Her eyes moved to the lump of lacy white dress she'd dropped on the floor.

Suddenly feeling worn-out, Ruka opened the door leading to her private balcony and stepped outside into the flower-scented, cool night air. She leaned on the balcony's steel railing, hand gripping the cold and hard material while her eyes scanned distractedly at the scenery of her mother's prized rose garden, exactly thirty feet below her. The sun had set off a couple of hours ago and the garden had been surrounded with darkness, as it was purposefully unequipped with any form of lighting at all. But of course, Ruka was hardly aware or even bothered by it as her vampire sharp senses worked its advantage.

Her mind had started to wander again, but this time she deliberately refused to think of Kaname. She thought of Kain instead, and the purpose she'd been invited him here.

It really was funny how she could get so lost in her own thoughts in the past forty eight hours. Before, when she'd received the summoning letter from her mother, she had dreaded thinking about it. Dreaded coming home, because she knew what would await her there. Then Aidou had come to ask if she would spend her long vacation at his home, together with the others. Maybe because she was feeling so desperate, she ended up telling him about her situation. That was when Aidou suddenly came up with an idea to help her.

She shook her head slowly, recalling Kain's sullen mood when they left Cross Academy. Aidou had sneaked out to her room to warn her about it, while Kain was having his shower. Aidou had a crumpled expression on his face and Ruka also did not miss the small detail of him carrying a plastic bag of crushed ice behind his back. Ruka had been quick to point that out of course, asking him what the ice was for, but he'd shrugged off her question and insisted that he didn't have much time. He only alerted Ruka to the fact that Kain had tried to fish out some information out of him because he was dying to know the reason why Ruka had invited him to follow her home. And alone too, on the top of that. When Aidou refused to tell the truth − since Ruka had previously prohibited him − Kain ended up demonstrating his cranky attitude and gloomy aura.

Hence the ice pack.

Maybe she shouldn't agree to Aidou's crazy idea. But she knew that somehow Aidou had been right. If she really needed help, Kain would be the perfect person to ask, because he had the tendency to help others without hesitation and Ruka was one of the few people he cared deeply about.

She felt the sickening feeling of guilt washed over her again. She was using him. It was an unfair play that she was performing to Kain, she had to admit. But she really had no other choice. She needed help, but also feared to ask him openly. Afraid that Kain might reject her after knowing the nature of her request. She should be relieved that in the end, he just complied with her request without pushing her to reveal her actual motive. Guess she was just plain lucky.

But Ruka knew, sooner or later she would have to explain everything to him. The real reason why he was being requested to follow her home, and why she couldn't come clean with him. She was sure that if she just proceeded with her plan without explaining things to him first, he would be seriously mad at her. That would be a risk since he had to fully agree and cooperate with her for her plan to succeed. It was just a matter of time, indeed… and time was now of the essence.

The soft click of a door opening on the balcony above her head, followed by the sound of light footsteps attracted her attention. It must be Kain, she thought, as she unconsciously inhaled deeply at his familiar natural scent mixed with the fresh fragrance of soap. His scent was always so calming…

Speaking of timing...

Sighing resignedly, Ruka left her room. She still had half an hour before dinner and she decided to use it well, so she made her way up to the third floor. If it was about sooner or later, then in this case it had better be sooner…

--


	3. Your Eyes, Your Heart

_**Author note:**_Okay, so here comes another update. As usual, thanks for YenGirl and her helpful beta-read for this story. Hey, you people should thank her too, you know, you won't get all these chapters if not because of her. Go and review her story after you read this chappie, okay?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Vampire Knight, though I own many Vampire Knight wallpapers (and supposedly some Japan version of LaLa Magz, should my mother not scold me for wanting to buy magz in language I can't read… jeez… Kaname voice card bonus just too appealing for me… --droolss--)

* * *

"_You're not blind._

_Just because I've become your eyes_

_for so many times,_

_you merely forget how to see."_

**Chapter 3. Your Eyes, Your Heart**

Ruka found Kain's room easily. She recognized the fact that he was given the best guestroom available, which meant it was located in the quieter part of the house. That was because the Souen family liked to ensure their guests were comfortable, and could spend their visits undisturbed if they chose to.

This was favorable to Ruka since she would need some privacy to explain everything to Kain. Her family shouldn't know about her plan until later, otherwise she would ended up having a completely miserable life. Ruka treaded carefully along the corridor, her brain busily setting up a sensible excuse in case she ran into someone. Luckily, to her delight, she found the corridor deserted. She quickly knocked at the polished mahogany door of the guest room before she changed her mind, or chickened out.

The door opened a moment later, showing a barefoot Kain clad in a pair of black pants and a simple white button-down shirt after his shower. His shirt was left half unbuttoned, showing a good portion of his well-defined torso. He looked like one of those models who decorated countless fashion magazines, but ten times better, thought Ruka as her eyes strayed to his damp and tousled honey-brown hair. She brushed past him into the room, closing the door behind her and locking it.

Ruka was aware that Kain had a perplexed look on his face at her action, although he didn't utter a word. He turned and stood still, both hands resting inside his pockets and looking at her with raised brows.

"I need to… er… we need to talk…" Ruka stammered a little as she answered his silent inquiry. "Um… why don't you take a seat?"

Kain frowned. "Seat, huh? I hope it's not something bad…" He was using a light and playful tone, but his chocolate eyes were serious.

"Just sit down, please?" Ruka asked softly. "It's easier for me if I don't have to keep looking up all the time while we speak, otherwise, I'll feel sorry for my neck" She meant it. Kain was a foot taller than she was and it would be more comfortable if he actually sat down.

Kain couldn't help but smile a little at her words, and he moved to sit cross legged at the edge of the bed, leaning an elbow on his knee and propping his chin on his left palm. "Okay, so what do you want to talk about?"

"Well, you know… it's about…." Ruka trailed off, hesitant. How was she supposed to say it? _It's about the reason why I tricked you to come here…_

"About...?" Kain was not helping at all.

"I..." she struggled for words. Should she just shoot him the question point-blank? "You know what I'm going to talk about already, don't you?"

Kain merely arched his eyebrows again but stayed silent. His expression was solemn and unreadable as usual.

Ruka stared at the floor helplessly, half annoyed and suspecting that Kain was playing dumb with her now. He had been dead curious this morning, so what was the reason for the blank look he was sporting now? She looked at him again. He was still observing her silently with a stern face, but this time Ruka saw those deep-brown eyes shining with faint amusement.

"You... are you teasing me?" she shot a murderous look at him, partly surprised at the sudden glimpse of a rare playful manner. She wondered if he was intentionally using it as a form of punishment to her for keeping him in the dark. Well, not that he didn't have the right to…

Kain shook his head, still trying hard to look serious. "No, I'm not...I'm just listening," he said, but his mouth twitched anyway.

Ruka gritted her teeth. What was he thinking, pulling out on her like this? He really didn't know how hard it was for her, did he? "If you think this is funny, Akatsuki..." she hissed, seething and unaware that her usual brown eyes was gradually turning russet-colored.

"Hey, hey..." Kain quickly lifted both his hands, humor disappearing from his face. He realized that somehow he had crossed the line and pissed her off. "I'm sorry, okay? Didn't mean to…" he said apologetically. Ruka stared at him grimly for a moment then diverted her eyes, suddenly feeling a strong urge to cry. She clenched her hands tightly. Here she was, with guilt clawing at her insides, steeling herself to confess to Kain and ask for his help, while all he did was twitch his lips, thinking how funny her attempt was. He could really be cruel sometimes. "You won't make it easy for me, will you?" her voice came out as a whisper.

The bed creaked and a moment later Ruka felt Kain's warm hand resting on her right shoulder. He was towering in front of her now. "What are you talking about, Ruka?" he asked her. His voice was incredibly soft and soothing. "This is really unlike you, you know? I thought you know by now that you can always tell me everything, as long as you wanted to."

He stopped and inserted both his hands into his pocket. "I already know − that somehow you're troubled and needed my help even when you didn't say it aloud." His last sentence drew Ruka's astounded gaze back to his trusting tender chocolate eyes. Her chest suddenly constricted painfully. So, after all this, Kain had actually been aware of what going through inside her head... No, what was she thinking? Of course he would've known. Kain had always been the most perceptive one and he always knew more than what other people thought he did. So observant, composed and dependable.

"The only thing that puzzled me was that you wouldn't tell me why." He sighed. "But I had given it thought, and decided that I would wait until you were ready. So please stop wearing that guilty look on your face, thinking that you've not been fair with me. I'm here not because I have to, you know, but because I want to." He said the last sentence very gently as he drew his right hand out of his pocket to slide Ruka's enticing soft rosybrown strands behind her ear.

Ruka's eyes widened as Kain's words dawned on her. He had willingly accompanied her home. She felt warmth spreading inside her body.

Kain held her gaze steadily. "I want you to know that, no matter what issue you are currently struggling with, you can seek my support as always. And as you see fit. I promise that I will never fail you."

Ruka was at a loss for words. She really was a fool. What had she been doing all this time? And she thought that she had trusted Kain enough. But apparently she still had some doubts about him. Why couldn't she see everything clearly as they really were? To accept the truth, to think with logic instead of obstinately sticking to her own stupid idealism? She had also been like this once towards Kaname. Oblivious to anything else except her own feelings for him, until the fact decided to slap her across the face and make her learn the hard way. And now she'd once again repeated the same inane act to Kain. She should've known better - that Kain was the only one who understood her so well, that she could always trust him with everything, as she usually did. She'd been so fed up with her own troubles that she couldn't even think with a clear head, and acted foolishly.

"I'm sorry, Akatsuki..." her voice trembled a little, overwhelmed with self-remorse. She knew that words of apology were barely sufficient, as she had inevitably hurt his feelings. Ruka folded her arms in front of her body, bracing herself. "I'm sorry for doubting you. I guess I should've just told you from the start the reason I brought you here... and not just to Aidou only. But in the end, I've been too... scared" she finished feebly.

"It's okay, Ruka. I understand," Kain nodded. His lips fabricated a half smile already trying to assure Ruka that no real harm had been done and that he held nothing against her. Even so, Ruka still stood rigidly on the spot, so he decided to distract her a little. "You know, actually... you sort of gave me a chance to retaliate back at Aidou for always waking me up in the middle of the night." Kain replied nonchalantly with a hint of devilish satisfaction in his voice.

"Eh... retaliate? How?"

Kain chuckled and walked back to sit in his previous position at the edge of the bed. "I just gave him back his book, the stupid Encyclopedia Britannica, which fell off his bed and awoke me this morning. I slammed it down on his ribs to wake him up."

Ruka couldn't help but laugh at that. Her soft melodic voice filled the room, enchanting Kain's gaze to rest upon her, and eliciting his own smile.

"No wonder he wore an expression similar to a treaded-on cat! He wouldn't tell me why, though," she shook her head, recalling how tart Aidou had looked like when he appeared at her dorm doorstep, clutching a pack of ice in his hand that Ruka guessed he made himself, to ease his bruised ribs, no doubt. Kain must have slammed the Encyclopedia without restraint on him, to have caused such an insistent contusion.

Kain shrugged carelessly. "Only now, I realized that I should've done that sooner," he added, surreptitiously satisfied to see Ruka more relaxed. "So what is it, the something about you that he knows more than me?"

Ruka was once again back on guard at Kain's inquiry. Partly because, despite all the gentle encouragement and understanding he had given her, she still felt a little guilty and uncomfortable. While the other part was because Kain's line had sounded a bit... possessive. Or jealous. Ruka tried hard not to think about the last one though, realizing how weird the idea was, for Kain being possessive over her or jealous of Aidou. She looked at him tentatively, lower lip caught between her white teeth. "Party, I brought you here to attend a party." she finally said, trying to use a light and easy tone, even though her heart started to race.

"You're kidding..." he glared daggers at her, but then his glare quickly turned into a curious frown. There was no way Ruka could get that nervous only for taking him to an ordinary party. "Wait, what kind of party is it?" he asked her.

Ruka gulped, preparing herself to tell the truth. "My... belated birthday party, and also a..."

An abrupt knocking on the door cut Ruka in mid-sentence, and made her jump.

"Akatsuki-sama?"

"Oh, no! It's Saeko! I've got to go," Ruka said with a strained voice. She bolted to the half opened balcony door.

"Wait!!" Kain moved fast and caught her wrist. "Where are you going?!" he automatically kept his voice low, almost like whisper, aware that Saeko was also a vampire with keen hearing. He didn't know for sure if this guestroom he occupied was designed to be soundproofed or not − like most vampire's residence usually were − to protect each individual's privacy. But better to be safe than sorry, right?

Ruka tried to struggle to free herself, but Kain grip was too firm on her. He had cleverly adjusted his strength so it wouldn't hurt her and also prevented her from dislodging him at the same time. "I have to flee! She's gonna kill me if she catches me in your room. Let. Me. Go, Akatsuki!" she hissed heatedly, enunciating her every word.

"But this is the _third_ floor!"

"I know!"

"You really gonna − gonna _jump_? From here?" Kain had a look of horror on his face. Ruka must be joking. "No way you're going to…!"

The knocking on the door grew louder. "Akatsuki-sama?" Saeko called again. The headservant's voice distracted Kain for only a second, but it was enough for Ruka. She wrenched her hand as hard as she could, knowing Kain would let go instead of tightening his grip and possibly hurting her.

"Hey!!"

Indifferent of Kain's admonition, she leaped across the balcony metal railing as fast as she could and made a short free fall, aiming for her room's balcony below. She caught the metal railing in time to stop her descend then swiftly pulled herself to the other side to land lithely onto the balcony floor.

Kain almost had his heart stopped, aghast. That girl! Who in the world had taught her such an urban burglar trick? So much for being a noble born vampire, and a lady.

"Akatsuki-sama, are you in there?" Saeko's voice was impatient as she rapped on the wooden door.

Muttering a grunt, Kain turned to the door, opening it with some difficulty since he forgot that Ruka had locked it earlier. He popped his head out. "Yes?" he answered with an almost noticeable annoyed undertone.

"Akatsuki-sama, I come here to inform you that dinner will be ready in ten minutes," Saeko said, her eyes were silently observing him.

"I'll be there soon, Saeko-san." he replied shortly, wanting to quickly dismiss the Headservant so that he could check on Ruka.

Saeko nodded. "Very well, Akatsuki-sama." She bowed, ready to leave, but then suddenly stopped. Her observant dark eyes turned suspicious. "Oh, by the way... did you happen to see Ruka-sama?" she asked.

Damn! The old lady still had a sharp nose. She must have smelled Ruka's scent in his room. Prim as ever, Saeko was the one who taught Ruka about a proper Lady's Manners and Etiquette. She would be very much displeased if she caught her alone inside a man's bedroom. Kain shook his head, automatically producing denial. "No, I didn't. Why?"

"Ah, I think that I smelled…"

"Yeah, me too. Her scent is all over my room, isn't it?" Kain cut her short. He stepped back and pointed with his thumb across his shoulder, at the direction of the half-opened balcony door. "I think the wind sorta brought it in, Saeko-san. If my memory doesn't fail me, her room is right below this one, isn't it?"

Kain got his answer right − he could see it through Saeko's defeated look. The old lady actually knew that somehow Ruka's scent was a bit too strong to be brought by the wind, but she didn't have any decent evidence to prove it either. She also knew much from years of her personal experience that this young member of the Kain family and his famous cousin from the Aidou family were materializations of the word 'trouble'. They were prone to breaking rules wherever they went, including the time when they visited the Souen residence a couple of years back.

Saeko glanced at the empty room, the wide opened bathroom door, and then the balcony glass door once again. It was a wild thought. Given that Ruka really had been in this room before, surely she didn't escape via the balcony...?

The chance was slim − almost impossible, since Ruka had never been an athletic or tomboy type of girl, but still she shuddered involuntarily at the thought. Imagined how her lady would react if she found her precious only granddaughter attending her birthday party with a broken leg and bruised body tomorrow, courtesy of jumping out from a fifty foot high balcony. Vampire or not, broken bones were still a serious injury that would need some time to mend. She quickly gave Kain a confirming nod for his answer and scurried away, intending to go check on Ruka.

Closing the door once again, Kain rushed to the balcony, deciding that Ruka really needed to be reprimanded this time. He jumped down from his own balcony, mimicking Ruka's previous stunt with a light and effortless movement to reach her room. He landed more smoothly than she had before and strolled into the room through the unlocked glass door.

"Has she gone yet? What are you doing here?" Ruka was sitting on her study chair observing her knee. She raised her head and glanced at him as her hand quickly covered her left knee from Kain's view.

"You dare ask what am I doing here? What the hell were you thinking, pulling a stunt like that?!" Kain asked her with cold fury glowing in his eyes, both hands clenched and buried deep inside his pockets. He furtively scrutinized her injured knee, wearing a far less concerned expression on his face compared to what he felt inside. He also gently sniffed at the air, checking if Ruka was bleeding or not since he couldn't tell from where he was standing. To his relief, there seemed to be no blood scent in the air. Maybe the scrape only bled a little and had already healed.

"I have no choice," Ruka answered calmly. "Saeko will surely talk to my grandmother if she happened to catch me red-handedly in your room! You don't know how my grandma acts when she's mad, do you? She could still go on for hours if she wanted to, you know!"

"But that doesn't mean that you can just jump out of my balcony like some sort of − of… cat burglar!"

"Look who's talking..."

"We're not talking about me!" Kain's chocolate eyes were piercing her. "I swear whoever taught you that stupid trick was..."

"Oh, enough!" Ruka rose from her chair and folded her hands in front of her chest defensively. She was back to her usual Cross Academy behavior as she glared indignantly at Kain. "As if I would die if I did fall off! Why should you care anyway?" she taunted.

Kain didn't reply, he only kept watching her silently. His gaze was unreadable. Why didn't she understand what he'd felt the exact moment he saw her release her grip to drop herself over the balcony? The sheer terror that ran through his spine at the knowledge that she might fall and got hurt… He wouldn't have batted an eyelash if it were Seiren who did that. But this was Ruka Souen, his dearest friend who was always so achingly feminine and sometimes even looked so fragile… No, he couldn't just stay calm. Ruka had scared the life out of him just now.

The sudden silence made Ruka stop talking. She instinctively knew that she had said something wrong. Kain always had a tendency to fell silent whenever he heard something he disliked. "What is it?" she asked, faking an irritated face to cover up her own bewilderment.

Kain opened his mouth. But before he could answer, someone knocked hard at the door, startling him and Ruka for the second time that day. Kain groaned and couldn't help but ponder on how convenient it would be if they had a 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign hanging from the door knob.

"Who is it!" Ruka snapped at the door, seething. These untimely interruptions were honestly starting to get on her nerves.

"It's Saeko, Ruka-sama."

Kain stiffened at once, ready to flee, just in case the headservant had somehow heard him talking inside the room. Ruka caught his left arm with her right hand, while her left index finger moved to her own lips, gesturing him to stay but be silent. _Soundproofed_, she mouthed to Kain, to make him relax a little.

"What is it? I'm changing my clothes, Saeko-san," Ruka replied, half shouting so that her voice could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt. I just want to inform you that the dinner is ready."

"I'll be there soon."

"Very well. I'll take my leave then…"

They both listened until the sound of the headservant's faint footsteps faded from the hall before Ruka turned to face Kain again. He had a snicker on his face. "She has a good nose. She meant well actually, apart from being exasperating sometimes…"

Ruka huffed wearily. "So, what were you going to say just now?"

Kain shook his head. "Never mind. I came here to ask you about the party you mentioned. But first…" Kain caught Ruka's elbow and gently steered her to sit on the edge of her bed. He knelt in front of her, both hands placed on the foot of the bed on either side of her, trapping her "…let me see your knee," he ordered in a don't-argue-with-me tone of voice.

Ruka was looking totally nonplussed even though unsurprised that nothing had escaped his attention. She regarded him for a moment, then reluctantly drew her skirt up to her thigh to reveal her already healed scraped knee. "It's fine, see? Healed already."

Kain examined her knee. It was indeed like she said, the scratched skin was already healed. But it appeared she hadn't just suffered a scratch. "It's now bruised, Ruka," he ground out.

"It's not hurt, I said I'm fine, Akatsuki..."

"…Yeah?" Kain quirked a brow. He put his right thumb on the bruise and put a little pressure on it.

"OW!!" Ruka yelped irately and slapped his hand away from her injured knee. She didn't expect that. "You...! Why did you do that?!" she gave Kain her best livid glare.

"But you convinced me it didn't hurt...?" Kain displayed a provocative taunting look, lips pinched into faint mocking smile.

She huffed. "Okay, okay! It hurt," she conceded warily, she hated being fussed over. "But I'm sure it will be gone before the dinner's over anyway."

The bruise was actually quite bad, with its black and blue color. "You must've hit it very hard." Kain muttered, his hand and attention already back at her injured left knee, unconsciously caressing the bruised part very lightly with his thumbs. He heard Ruka's sharp inhalation at that and he broke the contact at once, taking that as a sign of her discomfort. Kain did glance up curiously for a moment to confirm his presumption and glimpsed her awkwardly looking past him, sporting a frown and softly flushed cheeks.

Kain straightened up to his feet. "You can walk okay with that?" he asked, suddenly wishing he had Aidou – of all people - by his side now, because the injury could certainly do with some ice. Kain was positive the bruise would worsen up before it started to heal.

Ruka rose from where she sat and walked demonstratively around the room. She finally stopped in front of him and placed both hands on her hips. "I'm having a bruise, not a broken leg," she said flatly.

"You could've. You're just lucky this time," Kain shook his head. "Don't ever do that again, OK? You really sacred the life out of me," he finished gently with sincere worry in his warm brown eyes.

That look caught Ruka off-guard. She blinked and stared back at him, awed. She rarely saw Kain with this kind of soft, vulnerable expression on his face. It tugged at her insides oddly. She nodded silently at his request, losing any will to debate with him further on this.

"That's better," Kain muttered, relieved. "Now we…"

Ruka held up her hands, halting Kain. "It can wait. Later, after dinner. We shall go to the dining room now," she couldn't risk both of them being late for the dinner and arousing Saeko's suspicion again. Or even worse, Yoshiko might send one of Ruka's brother to fetch her and find Kain inside her bedroom. "I have a feeling if we don't show up within five minutes, someone will send the front guards to take down my door and arrest you…"

--

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**Foot note:** Okay, I know many of you wanted to know what Ruka had been hiding, but I just couldn't help teasing you guys a bit… --duck under the table to protect herself from flying objects threw at her-- please be patient… I promise everything will be revealed on chapter 4. Oh yeah, don't forget to review, I want to know if I'm doing fine, or that I have to improve it… Naah, just tell me which is your favorite part is okay. Thanks :)


	4. Beyond the Glass Wall

**Author notes: **Here comes another chapter, as I promised, and of course thanks to YenGirl as usual, for giving her much valued help and also sharing her fangirlism with me. Love ya! --wink--

**Disclaimer:** I own Hourglass, which consists of borrowed characters from Vampire Knight, but not the Vampire knight itself.

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"_In my desperation,_

_I let you break my heart,_

_crush it to a million pieces,_

_recollect, reshape them_

_to your desire_

_again and again._

_Hoping that someday_

_you will find one shape_

_you feel you like_

_and claim it as your own."_

**Chapter 4. Beyond the Glass Wall**

Ruka glared angrily at her own reflection in the mirror, intentionally emitted a menacing aura that unnerved three maids who helping her with her party gown and hair-do. She stubbornly wore a frown between her brows, inviting silent bewilderment from her three maids, wondering what their young mistress was so unhappy about.

The antique clock that perched on the top of the fireplace showed nine fifteen pm. Only forty five minutes left before the party started. Ruka could feel herself growing more and more anxious inside. She wouldn't have enough time anymore.

She had spent the whole of last night desperately trying to get a chance to talk privately with Kain. She should have had a lot of leisure time with him after dinner ended, but then she was dragged into conversation with her family, while Kain easily excused himself saying that he was in a need of some sleep. Having used all of her wit to lead and steer the topic of their conversation through the dinner so that they left the topic regarding the upcoming party alone, Ruka was more than happy to assist his pardon, especially since he left her with a subtle signal insinuating that he would wait for her in his room.

But it proved that luck was really not on her side that night because a game of cards immediately followed the conversation, with her father, Takehiko and Ryuji. Ruka tried to decline using the same reason as Kain's but her father silenced her effectively by unveiling the fact that she had been sleeping the whole five hours trip on the train. Evidently, Saeko had passed down the information to him.

There went her only chance. And as if that was not bad enough, the game they played that night happened to be their father's favorite 'King of Streak', which meant that nobody was allowed to leave the game until they had hit ten winning streaks in a row.

Ruka wanted to skin them all alive – first her father, then each of her brothers. And _especially_ Saeko…

By the time the game had ended, it was about seven thirty in the morning, and Ruka was sleepy and exhausted to the point that she was no longer able to distinguish between spade and clover. Ryuji won first, as usual, tailed by her father, then Takehiko. Leaving her as the king of losers.

In more ways than one, actually…

Ruka found Kain seated comfortably in her bedroom as she entered, overtly refreshed after six hours of quality sleep. She even smelled a strong scent of soap wafting from him, which meant he'd just had his shower. Kain only blinked upon her entrance, gave a thorough observation of her sleepwalking face and quickly left the room silently after drawing the room curtains closed so that she wouldn't have to do it herself before she went to sleep.

Ruka expected that she would be able to wake up by midday as usual, but apparently not. When she finally woke up, it was because Saeko was practically banging her door down at two in the afternoon. The headservant had brought in three maids with her, who were carrying heaps of party dresses in their arms for Ruka to choose from.

Great. A _perfect_ way to start the day.

Again, Ruka had no choice but to comply with Saeko's firm order, trying on one dress after another for hours, looking for the most suitable piece to wear. Unquestionably, by the time Ruka was done with the ordeal, she was in a painstakingly sour temper, which rapidly turned into a combustible one when she found out from one of the maids that Kain had just left for town.

Irritated as hell, she waited until it was time for her to get ready for the party. But still, he had not come back.

Ruka was starting to get a really bad premonition from all this. If only she could have _just_ ten damn minutes alone with Kain… Well, ten minutes were barely sufficient, but it would be far better than none at all. Ruka glanced again at the clock. Twenty five minutes left. She must make her decision. Now.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she said suddenly, with a strained and authoritative voice. Without waiting for any response, Ruka stood up and walked out of her room, not caring anymore that she had just undone an intricate arrangement of one of the ribbons that adorned the back of her gown.

Once freed from her three maids, she strode to Kain's room as fast as she could. She did not dare to run since she was wearing high-heeled shoes and if Saeko happened to see her running down the corridor, the old lady would definitely detain her for that, wiping out her last chance to talk to Kain.

In order to get to the third floor faster, Ruka took the shortcut using the storage room back stairs. She collided with one of the maids on her way and knocked down the pile of fresh napkins the girl was carrying. Muttering some words of apology, Ruka kept to her pace since she didn't have much time. Once she reached Kain's room, she didn't bother to knock and just simply barged in.

Much to her dismay, she found the room empty. It was obvious that Kain had just left to join the others downstairs, as she could smell his scent still lingering in the room. She quickly turned on her heel and went out. Just how was she supposed to speak with him now?

A maid walked past her in the corridor and Ruka grabbed her arm without thinking. She must find Kain. She must!

"Could you help me with something?" she asked the maid.

"...um... Sure, Ruka-sama," the maid nodded.

"Find Kain Akatsuki. You know how he looks like, don't you? If you don't, just find a tall honey-brown haired young man, very good looking, and with a piercing on his left ear, okay?" the maid nodded again obediently. "Tell him to... No, bring him to me, I'll be waiting in the drawing room," she sent the maid off.

Ruka half ran downstairs to the drawing room, hoping to heaven to find it empty. It was, and she cautiously slipped inside, closing the door behind her.

--

Kain closed his eyes tiredly as he leaned against the living room wall. His left hand moved distractedly to his neck and he started pulling at the tight collar and tie, trying to loosen it before he remembered that what he currently had on wasn't his school uniform. He exhaled impatiently and lowered his hand again, tucking it securely inside his pocket. The pristine white dinner jacket was a totally different attire from his daily Cross Academy uniform jacket which he could carelessly leave half its buttons undone, and wear the shirt outside his pants waistband. Considering how formal the party had turned out, he knew better that to wear this attire the way it should be and not the way he wanted to, even though it felt like it was slowly choking him to death.

Trying to shift his attention from his discomfort, he scanned the spacious living room. The maids had rather done a commendable job in decorating the room which now being occupied by a hundred or so guests who were busily chatting away while waiting for the party to start. Kain scowled as he mentally did a rough count of the male and female guests. Apparently, the number of males overrode the females here, as if confirming the truth of a rather shocking piece of information he'd easily pried off a maid this morning. It was the true purpose of this party that Ruka had been frightened to let him know.

--

_"The party? Oh, it's Ruka-sama belated birthday party, Akatsuki-sama."_

"_Only that?"_

"_Well… not only that, actually…"_

"_No? So what is it?"_

"_I'm not really sure, Sir, but I heard others speak of... um… what do they call it…" she scratched her hair, thinking hard."Oh yeah, I remember! It's 'The official courting for Ruka-sama.'" _

_Kain's eyes widened at the words. "Courting?"_

_The girl nodded convincingly. "Ruka-sama turned eighteen this year. From what I heard it is a traditional practice of the Souen family to send their son or daughter who turned eighteen for marriage, or at least an engagement. It's a closed party, though, that means they have carefully chosen qualified candidates. Rumor has it that Ruka-sama has already chosen a few herself and there are also some exclusively chosen by Kyousuke-sama for her. Like the youngest son of Shushei family, for example. Some maids here already know of his close relationship with Ruka-sama these last few years, and that makes him the strongest candidate here. There's also the son of…"_

_The maid kept babbling on, but Kain didn't follow any of her words anymore. His mind was already elsewhere._

--

Obviously, now only God and Ruka herself would know why Kain happened to be standing inside the grand living room of the Souen residence, right at this very moment, trying to administer enough fresh air into his lungs. He was so sadly out of place here, in a party that had utterly no significant connection with him at all.

One thing he knew for sure was that no matter what rumor had it about the forthcoming engagement, Ruka didn't like the idea of being engaged. It was clear even to a fool that she was still unable to completely forget Kaname, that she must despised the idea of being engaged to someone else. But exactly why she needed Kain's presence here, he couldn't quite envision.

Maybe she needed him to protect her from some wild suitor? Kain imagined himself trying to protect her from a group of males with similar personalities to Aidou when the playboy noble was around Yuuki Cross – while she was still a school prefect. Well, that ought to be fun to watch, although it was also a highly unlikely occurrence, with the group of highly civilized noblemen here.

Or maybe Ruka needed his support? Needed him to comfort her if things somehow went awry? It was more or less what Kain had done for her on several occasions in the past when she had been down after being rejected by Kaname. Kain smiled wryly. That reason was more likely. It looked like that was all she considered him good for, wasn't it? He would never be more than a place she perceived as her shelter.

Kain also knew − with somewhat bitter realization, that she had never felt even the tiniest inclination towards him, at least not romantically. Even though Ruka had often shared many things with him for years, what she had for him had always been friendship. Friendship that would never develop into romantic feelings. That was a fact. And a fact he could not forget, especially since he learnt of the true purpose of the party.

Kain swore under his breath - he didn't know why he couldn't dismiss the unsolicited thought. It wasn't as if he would do something about his relationship with Ruka either. He had been more than sincerely contented to be one of her closest friends and the one she needed the most. No, he certainly didn't regret that part of his life. But right now he just felt ... how to say it...?… like someone who had just looked back to find that the years had flown passed him, with many things he'd missed out on, of what he had taken for granted and was now left to wonder what his life would've been like if only he'd done things differently from the start, and grabbed every chance he got…

In short, Kain was confused. He was feeling so many foreign emotions right now of which he was even afraid to find out their root causes. He was also feeling contradictory emotions arising from his apprehension of what Ruka would become in one month's time… and it shook him more than he dared to admit. It would certainly be two very different things, to witness her being with Kaname, and witness her being with someone else. Kaname had never reciprocated her feelings, so Kain had been laidback and content to just watch her. But that would not be the case with another man…

Kain knitted his brows and glanced at the big grandfather clock standing at the corner of the crowded living room. It was almost about time for the party to start. He once again scanned the crowded living room, taking in one by one the faces of the noble men standing there. One of them was going to be Ruka's fiancé soon.

Something constricted painfully inside his chest at the thought, and he realized that it was jealousy. He snorted. _Where had that feeling come from?_ As if he had the right to be jealous… No, Kain was fully aware that he was being ridiculously insensible again, but he was tired of trying to deny it this time. He'd promised himself and he'd promised Ruka that he would help her with whatever she needed and she could use him to her heart's content… but that didn't mean he could always do something about his own feelings.

To be honest, Kain was also fairly enticed by the whole courting competition business. But he knew that there was no way he could participate in it. Because − even though he came from a well-known aristocratic family − he would never stand a chance against the other candidates who were being favored by Ruka herself or her family. And most importantly, he didn't want to confuse Ruka by doing so. He would be damned this time if he crossed the invisible line of close friendship between them now, when she already had enough problems of her own to deal with. So, even if he wanted to be selfish for just this once and maybe do something for his sake only, Kain realized that he just couldn't. He was her best friend, and he would do his best to remain as one. The only thing that he would do right now was whatever Ruka may possibly request of him. No more and no less.

The sound of quick footsteps from his left made Kain aware that someone was approaching and he turned before the person called him. It was one of the maids. She looked at him shyly with a crimson face and squeaked, "Akatsuki-sama?"

"Yes?"

She looked down at her own shoes, not quite daring to meet his eyes. "Um... Ruka-sama ordered me to bring Akatsuki-sama to her."

Kain sighed at the maid's words. What did Ruka want now? Surely she didn't intend to explain things to him now, in the short time that was left? Not that he needed any explanation from her anymore, by the way.

Kain shifted his gaze to the clock once again before back to the maid. "Where is she?" he inquired.

The maid quickly guided Kain out of the lively party atmosphere and in front of drawing room, then left him. Ruka was leaning on the window sill, looking outside when Kain entered the room. She didn't turn around when he closed the door − she didn't need to − since she already knew it must be him from his scent. Kain couldn't resist taking the opportunity to admire Ruka as she stood there.

She was wearing a floor-length, backless pale yellow satin dress covered with a flimsy golden see-through fabric layers from her waist down to the floor over its yellow satin base skirt. Her usually cascading hair was swept up high into stylish curls piled at the top of her head, leaving the pale and smooth skin of her back bare and open to his view. Ruka also wore a set of glittering diamond jewelry on her ears and neck.

"You look beautiful," the words came out of Kain's lips as a spontaneous compliment.

Ruka turned to face him. "Thanks, you're not bad yourself, Akatsuki," she said after a while, a little awed at how gorgeous he looked wearing the dinner jacket. So that's what he got from town, she concluded.

Kain smiled a little at her remarks. If only Ruka knew how uncomfortable this outfit was… "So, why did you call me here?" he asked even though he had the picture already.

"Because you should know something important before the party starts," Ruka said grimly.

Kain sighed and moved to place himself behind her. "One of your ribbons is undone. Hold still, I'll help you," he reached out for the flimsy fabric.

Ruka frowned. Ribbon? He was talking about her _ribbon?_ "Akatsuki?" she was confused. Didn't he hear what she'd just said?

"I already know…," he said softly as both his hands deftly reworked the rather elaborate style of the dress ribbon. "… that this isn't a usual belated birthday party."

Ruka stiffened and turned instantly at Kain's word. "You _know?_"

"You have undone my work, Ruka. Please be still." Kain stepped around to her back and started again. "Save your breath. I already know because I asked one of the maids. It wouldn't even have been necessary if you had only told me about it earlier." Kain's hands were busy arranging and shaping the difficult fabric as he spoke.

Ruka didn't answer him directly, so Kain diverted his gaze from the ribbon to their reflection on the window's glossy surface. He saw that Ruka was wearing a deeply guilty expression on her face again. "Ah… I'm sorry," she mumbled apologetically.

Kain's divided attention caused his knuckles to accidentally brush against the soft skin of her back a couple of times. He held his breath the first time it happened, because the contact somehow felt… good. Dangerously good. Ruka felt so soft and warm and wonderful and… so _not_ his.

_Stop that!_ Kain gave himself a sharp warning. What the hell he was doing? _Torturing himself?_

Feeling angry at his own helplessness, he used all the will power he possessed to peel his eyes off Ruka's tantalizing back and keep his eyes focused on the ribbon only. But his hands were shaking a little and his knuckles accidentally brushed against the silky skin of her back again. Kain almost swore out loud at that. It made him grew harder to concentrate on the ribbon only. Her sweet scent had also started to tease his senses mercilessly.

This is such a mistake, helping Ruka, he thought ruefully.

And as if proving his thought was right, to his horror, Kain felt his chest tighten and burn while his blood started to rush − the beginnings of all too familiar symptoms of bloodlust. He pressed his lips tightly together, his body taut as he tried hard to dispel these uncomfortable sensations out of his system, but completely without success. He could also feel his fangs started to lengthen bit by bit.

This, Kain thought resentfully, was exactly what would happen when a vampire forgot about the basic rule of his own physiology; that either the scent of blood or physical contact with someone you were uniquely attracted to would often trigger sudden bloodlust symptoms. In his case, the reason was beyond doubt the latter. And it was what made it more appalling for him - to suffer the symptoms from a mere light skin contact with Ruka.

Damn, this shouldn't be happening! Kain cursed himself inwardly. He was a complete mess. First his mind, and now his body. He couldn't believe that his body was _betraying_ him. He had to find something to quickly distract himself. Also, he needed his blood tablets. _Fast_.

"It was not making any sense actually, that you've been hiding all this from me. I've told you before, haven't I? That I came here because I wanted to? Are you afraid that I might refuse to come here just because you wanted some companionship?" Kain forced himself to keep speaking in an attempt to distract his mind. But his red-tinged eyes started to trail involuntarily to her slender neck nonetheless. He forced shut his eyes and swallowed with difficulty. "It's ridiculous. Honestly, Ruka, you should trust me more, you know," although not necessarily right at _this_ very moment, when he had a strong urge to bite her.

Kain hurriedly finished the work and gave the ribbon its last adjustment.

Ruka shifted uncomfortably under his words which reeked of disappointment. "But that's not it! I mean − part of it was true, but that was not all. Please _listen_ to me," Ruka sounded desperate and she once again tried to turn and face him while she talked.

Kain immediately used his left hand to grip her slim waist to prevent her from doing so. He didn't want to let Ruka see his bloodlust symptoms, and ask him the reason. For God's sake, he didn't know why for certain himself, so how would he be able to answer her? But the moment his palm touched her body, he instantly realized it was a big mistake. He gritted his teeth and jerked his hands off quickly as if he was being incinerated, his heartbeat accelerating out of control.

"Hold still, I'm not done yet!" Kain snarled. He realized that his voice was coming out more roughly than he'd intended, because he could feel Ruka stiffen in surprise.

Ruka snapped out of her astonishment. "Please, I don't care about the ribbon!" she jammed the heel of her right palm to her eyes in frustration. "Just look at me while I expl..."

All of a sudden the drawing room's door flew open, hard. It startled both Kain and Ruka, and cut off her sentence abruptly. Kain released the ribbon and stepped back with inhuman speed away from Ruka − not sure whether he should curse himself for forgetting to lock the door, or praise his luck for the timely interruption. Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught a glimpse of Saeko's figure briskly entering the room. He quickly hung his head, and pretended re-adjust his jacket corsage in order to hide his blood-shot colored eyes.

"Ruka-sama! I've been searching for you everywhere, the party is about to start," Saeko exclaimed. She linked her left hand to Ruka's right elbow to purposefully start steering her out of the room, but Ruka didn't move from her spot, her gaze fixed on the floor. "Ruka-sama? Are you okay?," she frowned and eyed both Kain and Ruka alternately.

Kain could feel Saeko's obtrusive stare on him and he decided it was a suitable time to flee. Keeping his gaze lowered still, he turned to walk towards the door before Ruka's soft voice made him pause for a moment. "Don't worry too much, Ruka. Just do as you wish - it'll be okay," he muttered without looking at her and left the room.

Kain's breathing grew labored as his bloodlust failed to cease and he knew he had to have his blood tablets _now_. He was getting angry at himself, for being such a wimp and getting all worked up over such a trivial thing. This was the first time he had suffered a bloodlust symptoms because of Ruka. Oh - wait, it wasn't really because of her, was it? Since Ruka was clearly oblivious of what he had experienced at that moment. She didn't even seem to be affected by their skin to skin contact. Kain was the one who was hot and bothered, like some kind of… some kind of pervert.

Come to think of it, he also had some funny, warmed-all-over feelings when Ruka was sleeping on his shoulder on the train. His reactions were exactly like an immature elementary schoolboy's whenever she got close to him physically. Correction − not just an ordinary elementary schoolboy, but a puppy-love-strickened one. He could just imagine Kaname's reaction if he found him like this. The pureblood would surely look disdainfully at Kain and told him that he needed more self control.

Kain moved as quickly as he could with his vampire ability back to his room. He threw open his suitcase and started to rummage through its contents quickly. Not finding what he sought, Kain took out his clothes in piles and searched more thoroughly. But still, his blood tablet package was nowhere to be found. Kain tried to recall whether he had brought it along with him or not, but he really couldn't remember. There was a big chance he'd left it behind in his room at the Academy when he packed his things hurriedly − as he'd been in such a bad mood too because of Aidou. Oh, how he wished he could fry his cousin right at this very minute...

Kain straightened up and quickly started to strip off his dinner jacket, vest and shirt. He was already suffering a stifling sensation in his lungs due to the tight jacket without his bloodlust making it worse, thank you very much. And while he couldn't get rid of the former, he certainly had to get rid of the latter no matter what it took.

Kain hurried into the bathroom. Leaning over the top of the washbasin, he turned the cold water tap on full blast, scooped the water with both hands and splashed it onto his face and hair. The water felt like ice on his warm skin but he didn't care. Gasping a little for breath, he splashed his face a few more times and straightened to look at himself in the mirror. His eyes gradually turned back to their normal brown color, but his fangs were still there, a little slower in returning to their usual form. Thank God the cold water worked, he thought.

Kain dried his head carefully to get rid of any excess water while made a mental note to ask for some blood tablets from Ruka later. Cold water was definitely not a long-term solution for bloodlust. He scrupulously wore back his clothes while he waited until all his symptoms had cleared up. From now on, no more lack of control, Kain vowed to himself as he took a final glance at his reflection in the mirror before heading back downstairs to re-join the party.

The living room was more considerably more crowded compared to when he'd left it earlier. Most of the guests were currently paying attention to Ruka's father, Kyousuke Souen. He was a tall and dark haired man, with an appearance comparable to a thirty to forty year old human, though his actual age was definitely more than that. He stood next to his daughter and his beautiful wife − who looked like a more mature version of Ruka − as he made some sort of announcement about his daughter.

Kain moved closer to get himself a better view. He wasn't really paying attention to what Kyousuke was saying because he suddenly found Ruka's fixed gaze on him from across the room. She was looking at him intently, but her eyes were emotionless and unreadable. Puzzled, Kain shifted uncomfortably on his feet and tipped his head questioningly at her. Was she angry at him because he'd left her just like that in the drawing room earlier?

She broke their eye contact.

Not wanting to have any speculative thoughts, Kain shifted his attention to what Kyousuke who was now saying. "…and as you ladies and gentlemen already know, each member of the Souen family who reaches the age of eighteen will be obliged and honored to receive their right to choose a befitting lifemate," the room was growing a little noisy with excited murmurs from some of the guests.

"For this reason, please allow me to use this opportunity to express my support for any gentleman who would like to court my beloved daughter, Ruka Souen, as..."

"I'm sorry...Father." Ruka's voice reverberated firm and clear inside the room preempting the others.

"...eh?"

The excited murmur lightened considerably as all eyes now stared at Ruka - Kain's was no exception.

"I'm sorry," Ruka repeated, looking first at her gaping father, then at the rest of her family members, then finally at the guests. "Because I'm afraid that I might not be able to accept your sincere courting anymore." Her voice was not loud, but it effectively silenced all those present. She was looking intently at Kain again. Some of the guests who noticed her fixed look now followed the direction of her gaze and looked at him as well.

Kain swallowed. He had a _really bad_ feeling about all this.

Ruka was having the ghost of a smile on her lips. Still looking at him deliberately, she continued. "The reason why I can't accept that, is because…I have already made the choice of whom I would like to take as my befitting lifemate. He is my best friend, and we have known each other since we were young."

At once, Kain knew the real purpose of he was brought there. He now understood what Ruka was trying to say with her line of '_that was not all'_. He didn't need Ruka to finish her sentence to know what she was going to say next.

"I see him as my future lifemate, and he already knows of my feelings for him…"

More and more pairs of eyes were glued on him now, and Kain wanted to groan aloud but he kept silent. Waiting for the final blow to fall. And it did.

"Kain Akatsuki, the honor is yours," Ruka finished softly, smiling at him. Her words plunged the entire room into a dead silence.

--

**End note:** Okay, everybody… please indulge me with a piece of comment so I know I got your attention? any thoughts?


	5. Charred Innocence

**Author notes:** Thanks to all who left wonderful comments and reviews for the last chapter (Woow... 15! --nudges YenGirl--). Thanks for your great help and support for this chapter, Yen :) --give cookies to everyone--

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, okay? Vampire Knight is not mine...

* * *

"_Sometimes when I lie,_

_it's only because_

_I've seen the truth hurt you so badly,_

_and I couldn't stand it._

_So, I choose to keep it for myself"_

**Chapter 5. Charred Innocence **

Kain slammed his bedroom door closed with more force than was necessary.

He locked it with one hand while gripping Ruka's wrist firmly with his other, then half dragged her - intentionally ignoring her protests − across the room to his balcony door. He locked the glass door securely as well before finally releasing her.

"Now - don't you dare..." Kain started fiercely, "...walk out of this room…" he shrugged off his jacket and vest then tossed them both carelessly onto the carpet, he couldn't wait any longer to extricate himself from both "…before you tell me what's going on. I'm_ tired_ of pretending already," he finished crossly. Kain really meant what he said. This was the worst party he had ever been to in his life, thanks to Ruka. He didn't even have enough time to recover from his initial shock before the first male guest accosted him with a direct question. It was a good thing Kain could recover quickly enough to play along to the game that Ruka had started without his consent or knowledge. He'd also managed not to give unconvincing, stuttering answers that would have mortified himself further.

That direct question was simply the beginning. The next thing Kain knew was that he wasn't left standing alone even for a second. All throughout the party, wherever he went, there was always someone who approached him, either to offer congratulations, or to ask him questions about his apparent good luck. Of course, Kain was forced to provide many tactful, evasive and even false answers to convince each and every one of them that what Ruka announced was something they had planned beforehand. Ruka was standing close to him the whole time and supported his answers, but still, Kain found the task difficult, if not painstakingly tiring.

The whole situation quickly got on his nerves, since he was afraid he might let something important slip out and screw the whole thing up. He really regretted never having learnt from Kaname the art of diplomatic speaking that he had so often seen the pureblood performed flawlessly in front of others. That would have surely helped Kain deal with this crisis as well as lessen his stress level.

The only thing that he could consider lucky tonight was that none of Ruka's family members had started to ask him questions, like the other guests had. All of them appeared indifferent to Ruka's announcement. An attitude which meant only one thing… that they were certain of having their own opportunity to interrogate him later, in a more private environment. Kain had utterly no doubts about that.

"Oh...? But didn't you tell me to save my breath? Why are you changing your mind so suddenly now?" Ruka gave him a light chuckle topped with a sugary sweet reply. She couldn't help mocking Kain a little, even though she realized it would only fan his fire. After all, she was still feeling a little irritated from their earlier meeting when she'd tried so hard to speak to him about this and he'd cockily refused to listen her. "Didn't you say that you already know about _everything_?" she added, emphasizing the last word.

"Spare me the sarcasm, would you? I still have to think of a speech for your parents," Kain scowled, his chocolate eyes lighting up dangerously as his patience ran low. He had actually kidnapped Ruka from the party while her parents and brothers were busy sending off the guests, and he didn't really want to waste his chance. Eventually her family would know that he and Ruka were no longer in the living room. So that meant he would have to provide a decent and plausible explanation to appease all of them on this disappearance as well.

"What did you have in your mind anyway, lying to all of them like this?" _And using me to make them believe it?_ he added in silent while looking at her piercingly.

Ruka caught the fierce look in his eyes and slowly sat down on the edge of his bed, feeling her self-confident disappearing. This was what she had been desperately trying to avoid, all this unnecessary fuss.

"I was trying to tell you earlier, to prevent this misunderstanding. I kept trying to, but you flipped me off," she said quietly, shoulders slumped. "I wanted you to understand what I was involving you in. And I know that you had the right to know. But all those interruptions − and Saeko was driving me crazy…" she buried her face in her hands tiredly. "I… I'm sorry, Akatsuki..." her voice came out unsteadily.

"Well, you could always start over," Kain said shortly as he pulled at his shirt collar and tie to loosen it further before undoing the top two buttons. He sat down on a wooden chair, facing her with his arms loosely folded and propped on the chair's back.

Kain's gaze softened a bit as he reflected on her words. Ruka was right. He'd acted like a patronizing jerk earlier when he told her to shut up while he worked on her dress ribbon. He should have listened to her and not indulged himself with _other_ things aside from her ribbon, which only rewarded him with an unexpected and totally humiliating bloodlust.

"You're right. I've been a coward. I was afraid that you would reject my request if you knew about it first hand." Ruka looked at him questioningly, holding his gaze. "Would you, Akatsuki?"

Would he? Honestly, Kain didn't know the answer. He'd been too uptight, too confused to think properly. He'd just been on an emotional rollercoaster ride, and he needed to calm down a bit and take time to breathe and just… think. Deciding he was unable to answer her question at the moment, Kain threw her another question instead. "Why do you need to do this? Drag me into all this... mess?"

Ruka sighed wearily and avoiding Kain's probing eyes. She lifted up from the bed and latched herself at the room's French window, stared longingly outside. Kain might not understand her reasons regarding this matter. About why she had to run away from her family tradition. From her responsibility as a member of a noble vampire family. But Ruka had spent seventeen years of her life, trying to absorb the idea of this so called match-making practice inside her family. She had witnessed with the innocent eyes of a child, then her more perceptive adolescent ones, the process which her three older brothers had gone through. And that, she had to admit regretfully, was not as smooth and pleasant in private as how it appeared to be in public.

It was almost ascertained that it wouldn't be amiable for her as well. Particularly, because − even though she had tried to − she had not yet succeeded with her half hearted attempt in getting Kaname completely out of her stubborn system. Her present situation would render her impossible to put her mind into accepting a new relationship. Ruka was sure that she would be miserable if she couldn't have Kain's assistance in this matter.

Kain waited for Ruka's answer patiently as his eyes lingered on her contemplative pose. Seeing her like that, it struck him how far, frail and lonely she now looked, and it made him ache to comfort her. Maybe he didn't understand her as much as he thought he did before.

Ruka's last question again resonated inside his head, left unanswered. She had sought his complete trust by asking a simple question, and Kain had failed her. Despite his earlier promise to her, he was still unable to answer the question. Because to answer it, he would have to go through a war between his own ego and his devotion towards Ruka. It was true that he had always been her loyal lapdog all this time, but then again, even a dog has feelings, right?

Exhaling tiredly, Kain forced himself to shut the question out of his head. He would save it for later, when he could finally decide what had happened with his head and his heart. But now, his main concern was getting an answer from Ruka.

"Does all this − " Kain asked her again. This time more quietly, warily. "…have any connection with… Kaname-sama?"

Kain could see the effect his question had on Ruka as her body tensed up almost imperceptibly. She turned from the window, her unreadable brown eyes on Kain. "No, it doesn't." she said with a small voice.

Kain shot her a calculating look. Ruka certainly didn't sound too convincing and he couldn't really tell if she was lying or not. But if she was, Kain had to admit that she had done quite a commendable job in hiding her subtly guilty expression, that was always present whenever she hid something from someone. Besides, since when had her actions not carried any significant connection to Kaname? She was completely obsessed with the pureblood to begin with.

Ruka kept her expression deadpan as she continued. "I have to do this as I just don't want to be engaged to someone I barely know, just because of some stupid family tradition. And I certainly don't want to have a loveless marriage," she stated, this time failing to stop a hint of resentment from escaping her lips.

It was Kain's turn now to chuckle. "That's funny…" he said bitterly. "You're afraid of a loveless marriage, but then you've picked the wrong man."

Ruka was taken aback at his retort. Her eyes grew wide. "Does that mean... you won't help me?" she asked with small, fear-blanketed voice.

"Help you?" Kain's face wore an expression of complete disbelief. "I don't even know what you have on your mind. How am I supposed to help you if I don't know what you're thinking and what's your plan? I know nothing, Ruka. Nothing," he burst out, glaring her with a storm raging in his darkened eyes.

"Except, that you don't…love me. And that's it," he added hoarsely, trying to make it sounded a-matter-of-fact. But the moment the words slipped out of his mouth, he instantly regretted it – he sounded so disappointed. But he shouldn't be disappointed. He shouldn't be feeling this acute emptiness gnawing painfully at his insides. It didn't make any sense since they were supposed to be just friends. He knew that his reaction was all wrong, but sadly, he was unable to stop himself.

Ruka winced at the forthrightness of Kain's words. She opened her mouth and closed it again a few more times, unable to think of what to say. "Akatsuki, I… I…"

Kain gingerly ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that, I'm speaking nonsense," he shook his head lightly, feeling a little awkward and embarrassed. Why should he state something that was already obvious like that? Did he somehow hope that Ruka would _deny_ it?

He cleared his aching throat now. "So, what do you want me to do now? I mean, are you really sure about this? I assumed you're already familiar with the rules?" An engagement in aristocratic families was always a very serious matter. It couldn't be cancelled by any means once it was formalized.

Ruka frowned, suddenly remembering that she hadn't really explained things properly to Kain. She entwined her fingers nervously. "Um… don't worry about the engagement right now, I'll handle it when the time comes. For now, the only thing that I need you to do is help get rid of my persistent suitors. Like Hirota Shushei or Kouhei Tenma within one month's time. Make them believe that I'm no longer available."

"And _how_ exactly can I make them believe that?" Kain quirked his brow.

Ruka shot him a mildly astounded look "Isn't that obvious? We just need to act as if we're lovers so that…"

Kain stood up so quickly the chair he had been sitting on tumbled to the floor. "What!?"

Ruka flinched at his unexpected response. "What's what?" she muttered, unfazed by Kain's glare.

"Do you know what you've just asked me to do? Do you _realize_ what it means?" Kain asked sharply.

"But… we'll only be pretending and deceiving people, there will be no harm done, I assure you."

Kain groaned and dropped his forehead onto his hand. "No, that's not it! You want us to act like a pair of lovers to convince them. But do you really understand what real lovers _do_?"

Ruka just stared at him, puzzled, a little slow to grasp the meaning of his question.

"I mean − what they usually do − physically?" he hinted despairingly.

Ruka blinked at first, then her face rapidly changed into a deep pink shade as she fully understood what Kain had been insinuating.

"Good," Kain commented tersely at her coloring. "So - you want me to… do… those sort of things to you?" It wasn't that he would mind though. He asked merely because he wanted to know her reaction.

For a fleeting moment, Kain could see unmistakable refusal in Ruka's eyes. But then it was alternately replaced by discomfort, marvel and even… curiosity. "I… I can handle that much, don't worry." Ruka stammered, forcing a defiant look on her face which Kain took as a pitiful attempt to hide her embarrassment.

That stubborn girl! Kain gritted his teeth, peeved. _Fine, have it her way,_ he would be very glad to grant what she sought, anyway. He moved slowly towards her with both hands tucked carefully, inside his pockets, clenched tight. "You sure?" he gave her a speculative look and proceeded to approach her. "Should we give it a try?" he asked tauntingly, his voice suddenly low and wicked.

Despite what she'd just said, Ruka found herself anxiously backing away step by step. She let out a small surprised gasp when her bare back bumped against the cool wall.

Kain could see Ruka swallowing nervously as he strategically cornered her. She was trapped between her study desk and Kain's right arm on the wall just beside her left ear. Kain kept on shifting closer to her… unhurriedly… inch by inch, until he was sure that all Ruka could see was him and nothing else.

Ruka's beautiful eyes filled with a combination of pride and distress. Her expression was somewhat torn between the need to prove herself and the urge to run away from him.

Kain's lips curved upwards into a lopsided smile, amused by the knowledge that she was surprised at his sudden and intimate advances. It was an expected reaction from her since he dared to bet that Ruka had never been aware of him as a member of the opposite sex before. But as long as he didn't find her frightened, he promised himself he wouldn't stop. He had to test her on her own words so that he could deem her worthy or not of her own plan and whether she would be able to see it through to completion.

Kain also knew that what he was doing right at this moment was dangerous, that he was playing with fire. The memory of his uncalled-for reaction when he helped her to fix her ribbon earlier was still playing in a corner of his mind, reminding him to rein himself in. He told himself he would only be testing her anyway, so he had to keep a cool head.

Feeling more confident than before, Kain removed his right hand from the wall to trace Ruka's bare back − making a small, languid circle on her warm soft skin. Leisurely, he moved his hand up, down and across her back, enjoying the sensation of her silky smooth skin gliding under his fingertips. Kain drew his left hand out of his pocket and reached for Ruka's right diamond earring, easily unhooking it off its place before leaning forward and gently taking her small, perfect ear between his warm lips.

Ruka inhaled sharply, eyes widened with pure astonishment as foreign and delicious sensations viciously claimed her senses. Her body shuddered and squirmed helplessly, burning under Kain's wicked hand and mouth. Heavens, what was he _doing _to her? She hadn't thought that Kain would dare to touch her like this. That his touch would feel like _this_. Ruka's breath slowly turned into short gasps as Kain's warm mouth continued its sweet torture on her sensitive ear, licking and sucking at it slowly, sensuously.

Feeling a little dizzy from the delicious sensations, Ruka grabbed the front of Kain's shirt in order to stop herself from sliding ungracefully onto the floor. Her legs were shaky… weak. Kain shifted his attention to her left ear now − making her shiver once again as she relinquished herself to the mind-bending pleasure he was inflicting on her. Body pressed flush against his, Ruka let her eyes flutter shut.

She could hear warning bells beginning to ring feebly from somewhere inside her head, telling her to do something immediately, to run away from Kain as far as she could. But for the life of her, she couldn't even use both her legs properly, let alone pull herself together and escape from him. All she could do right at that moment was to moan and whimper softly like a hungry little kitten.

Kain's heartbeat sped up considerably as Ruka's involuntary reactions acutely compelled him. Needless to say, it oddly pleased and encouraged him, filling him with the knowledge that it was _his_ deed, after all, that was causing Ruka to quiver in his embrace like this. A satisfied smile played on his lips as he tentatively slid his hands between the fabric of her gown and gently caressed the small of her back. Ruka rewarded him with another sensuous moan while her fist tightened itself on his shirt.

It was about time to stop, Kain realized ruefully. As much as he wanted to continue, he knew that he had dangerously pushed himself too far. Regardless of his full awareness and self-control, Kain was starting to feel the effect of Ruka's constant, soft mewling upon his ears and her tempting, pliant, luscious body against his own. He also caught himself breathing deeply and drinking in her sweet scent that was raiding his senses, sending his pulse raging madly as his senses swiftly escalated into desire.

And then, just exactly as Kain detached his mouth from her ear, Ruka tipped her head back a little, unwittingly eliciting a silent invitation. That froze Kain to the spot instantly. His eyes locked onto Ruka's pale throat while his breathing grew even more ragged and irregular. His already excited body was starting a full scale rebellion against his faltering mind. Kain grunted incoherently, struggling to get back his self control that was sliding out of his hands faster than the blink of an eye.

Honestly now, how could he have thought he had the right to tease Aidou when the impulsive blond haired noble had given in to temptation to taste Yuuki's blood?

Kain didn't have that right. Not any longer… not when he could hardly contain himself like this in front of Ruka.

Releasing a defeated groan, Kain moved and pinned Ruka tightly to the wall. He buried his face in the tantalizing crook of her neck, kissing and feasting on the delicious taste of her delicate soft flesh, sucking it hard into his eager hot mouth.

Ruka's skin felt like silk and her tasted of honey… of fire… of heaven… of sin…

She felt and tasted so damn good he would never get enough of her. Kain's head was spinning, overloaded with full scale sensory bliss that no existing words could ever describe. He was spiraling down too fast, rapidly losing his mind the longer he held Ruka. He knew he had to stop. Immediately. But _dear God_... it was so hard. His body was aflame and while he couldn't stop himself, Ruka wasn't helping him either with her innocent reactions towards his provocative play.

And then, it happened. Faster and stronger that before, Kain's subdued bloodlust came back with full intensity, stunning and stifling his breath. It startled him like a bucket full of ice water dumped on his head, and it broke him free of the spell he'd been under. Frightened, he reflexively jerked himself back, away from Ruka, and roughly released her from his ardent and passionate embrace.

Ruka gave out a small, surprised gasp at Kain's abrupt movements. She almost fell to the floor if not for her quick hand that grabbed the edge of the study desk edge and helped to steady herself. What the hell was that? What in the world had just happened? She was feeling totally disoriented and confused − in both body and mind − courtesy of whatever Kain had been wickedly doing to her before he brutally cut it off.

Wanting to know what had caused Kain's sudden withdrawal, Ruka slowly looked up... Right into a pair of glowing red eyes, that her partially working brain registered as belonging to her best friend.

Ruka's initially bewildered gaze gradually turned into a shocked one as she took in every detail of the brown-haired noble's appearance. He certainly looked nothing like his usual composed self with his red-tinged iris, swiftly lengthening fangs and ragged and heavy breathing.

Bloodlust symptoms.

Even though she had never before seen it on Kain, it was unmistakable. Ruka's lips parted in awe. Her sluggish brain all at once became very alert. Kain Akatsuki, the one who grew up with her, the one whose personality proved to be far gentler than what his physical countenance suggested, the one who always had a soft spot for her, and − on the top of all − her best friend, was now suffering bloodlust symptoms because of their... physical interactions?

"A − Akat... suki...?!" Ruka whispered tentatively, her voice sounding small and shaky in her own ears while her eyes searched his.

Kain blinked at her inquiry. Once. Twice. Then he suddenly inhaled harshly, all horror-struck and darted into the bathroom. The door swung shut behind him with a loud bang that made Ruka jumped a little before she promptly chased after him.

"Akatsuki!" Kain heard her pounce at the bathroom door as he slid the lock into place with a firm click. "Open up!" she rapped wildly at the door.

"Go away!" Kain rasped with a strained, almost excruciatingly pained voice. His chest heaved frantically as he fought to supply enough air into his lungs. _Damn it, damn it, damn it! _So much for promising himself _not _to lose control…

Grating out a fervent curse, Kain charged to the washbasin. For the second time in the last four hours, he reached for the cold water tap and turned it on full blast. This time he didn't even bother to scoop the water up with his hands – he just put his head right under the jet of icy cold water. This round of bloodlust made him seriously feel like crap. Mentally and physically while Ruka's concert of emotions just now taking the liberty of replaying itself inside Kain's head without his permission, at maximum volume, and accompanied by the most tantalizing of images conceivable.

How in God's name would he ever explain this to her? _Oh, I'm sorry, my dear friend Ruka, but I got this bloodlust because of over-indulging myself on you… Oh, by the way, did I also mention that I'm now seriously aroused as well?…_ Kain let out a long frustrated growl, recalling Ruka's shocked expression. He was so plainly, outwardly stupid. An idiot to be exact, to humiliate himself like this in front of her. Why on earth did he think that he could survive testing Ruka without ending up participating and failing in the same test as well?

"Are you all right? Come on, open up!" Ruka continued to hit the door, fast losing her patience.

Was he all right? Yeah, of course, if you count _lusting_ − in any shape or form − after your best friend was all right. Kain closed his eyes, wishing he could just disappear. Because his bloodlust refused to do so this time. Certainly, one of them had to give in. He ran his hands through his already drenched hair, wetting it with more icy water in a vain attempt to abate the symptoms.

"Open up, Kain Akatsuki, or I swear I'll open it up myself by force!" Ruka sounded so serious this time. She was always serious when she called him by his full name.

Okay… that did it. Ruka just left him with no options at all. If she was about to use her gifted power on the poor door, he'd better stop her before it commenced. He was in such an unfavorable situation right now that he certainly didn't need another one that would require him to compose extra explanations to the house owner about his the bathroom door going down.

Kain reluctantly detached himself from the washbasin, turned off the gushing water and walked to the door, wearing a somewhat distressed look. He wasn't feeling any better, if not worse, and he knew without having to look at himself in the mirror that he was still carrying the color of blood in his eyes.

Ruka was looking rather worried, but she couldn't completely hide her amazement as Kain opened the door. He did not dare to hold her stare and merely looked down at the floor after the first glance. For a few agonizing moments no one dared to make any movement or sound. The palpable silence in the room was disrupted only by Kain's labored breathing.

Finally Ruka cleared her throat. "Sorry," she said in such a quiet whisper that it was almost unheard by him.

The whispered word hit Kain hard and his figure stiffened instantly. _Sorry?_ Did she just say that she was _sorry?_ But what was she apologizing for? Did she − was she feeling _sorry _for him because she had triggered his bloodlust? Or was it because she'd finally believed that her plan was stupid?

Or… maybe she regretted what had happened between them in the moments before Kain's bloodlust kicked in… _Heaven forbid, please… not that one reason, anything but that,_ he thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He really couldn't stand it if Ruka actually found that she despised those stolen, blissfully sensual moments with him. And all because he had let his presumptuous body took control over his very much sensible and coherent brain.

Kain looked at Ruka uncertainly. He wanted to ask what she was sorry about but at the same time, he was afraid to hear her answer.

Ruka was looking at him with a kind of subtle, unreadable expression in her still dazed eyes. "Um… you need your blood tablets…" she suggested softly, sounded like a distracted person.

Kain swallowed past his burning throat, feeling a mixture of relief and deep embarrassment. It looked like Ruka had made her own assumption and decided not ask him any further about his condition.

"I don't have them," Kain breathed out as he managed to return a level look at her studied gaze. "I... accidentally left them back at the academy," his eyes never left her – he was sure Ruka had something else on her mind that she was determined not to speak off and he actually wanted to know what it was.

"You did...?" Ruka blinked a couple of times and shook her head free of whatever was occupying her thoughts. "Oh…no problem, I'll... get you mine," she turned on her heel and almost too hastily walked out of Kain's room.

Ruka was hoping that she could reach her room and return to Kain without being spotted by anybody. But just as she emerged out of the guest room, a strong hand caught at her elbow in a steadfast grip.

"Ryuji-nii-san!" Ruka paled as she stared up into her brother's cold blue eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"That's my line, Ruka-chan," Ryuji replied softly, "I see you just stepped out of Kain's room."

_Great_. _This was totally great_. Ruka gritted her teeth irately. How was she going to deal with this now?

"Do you care to tell me what had happened, or do I need grandma's help?" he continued, shooting her an intimidating cold glare.

Ruka didn't return his brother's glare and forced herself to be expressionless even though her heart had already started to slam against her rib cage. She would be very, very screwed if her grandmother heard about this. And not just her, by the way, Kain would of course receive its side effect too, no matter how much she stood by and protected him. Hell, that would actually make him _her _victim, as if he didn't get enough grief from Aidou already…

"Well?" Ryuji demanded. His eyes sparked with triumph even though Ruka hadn't uttered her acquiescence yet.

"Say, if I do tell you about it, can you keep it for me? And support me?" she asked back drearily.

"Only if you tell me all of it, then I will keep it. But... if you ask me for support, it depends." Ryuji knew that he couldn't be too careless. This is Ruka, after all, his only beloved sister. He would be damned if he promised to help on something that could harm her. "If it's something good, of course I'll help." He threw a discerning glance towards the guest room door.

Ruka caught his look. "Don't think bad about him! He's not like what you think," she exclaimed quickly, almost annoyed by the kind of dubious expression her brother was wearing.

"I'll decide about it when I know what's going on," Ryuji stated.

Ruka sighed in defeat, silently thinking of how many bits of what had happened that she could manage to keep from Ryuji's prying attitude. But knowing her brother's sharp instinct, it looked like she could only hope for the worst. "Which first?" she asked him with a cold business like tone.

Ryuji pinched his lips into a wry curve. "How about why you took him as your fake lover?"

"Very funny."

"You want to cancel our little agreement?"

"Fine! Fine!" Ruka snapped impatiently. "I'll tell you from the start!"

"That's better."

Ruka started with how and why she had invited Kain to their home. She provided only minimal, but truthful explanations to save time, and omitted as much unnecessary detail as she could. _Especially _the details of certain activities that had followed on her last conversation with Kain just now. Her brother didn't interrupt her speech, only listening silently as he leant on the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. His expression turned very serious while he weighed Ruka's every word, as if testing to see if she had presented him with the truth or not. Finally, he gave her a careful nod when Ruka finished her explanation.

"I've told you what you wanted to know. So, are you be on my side?" she asked, keeping her expectant undertone hidden well.

Ryuji slowly shook his head. "No, I'm sorry."

Ruka frowned at her brother terse reply. "Why not?"

Ryuji gave her a disappointed look as he pushed off the wall and brought his face near Ruka's right ear. "Because…" he whispered in a very soft, but restrained voice which Ruka recognized as his style of speech whenever he tried to suppress his fast rising temper. "You lost one of your earrings, and you have fading kiss marks all over your neck."

Ruka's right hand shot up to her neck the instant Ryuji's words dawned on her. Her face was burning hot. Lord, she was unaware about that! This was just like her injured knee yesterday − which she initially thought had only been scraped before the bruise surfaced. If only she had known she was carrying on her neck whatever her brother's sight had caught, she would certainly have urged her body to speed up its healing ability. She looked up at her brother now, feeling deadly embarrassed and frightened of whatever he was going to do now. "Nii-san, I − I can explain this..." she offered feebly.

"No, Ruka-chan, you don't have to, I know already that it's his doing." Ryuji shook his head again. He stared into her widened and terrified eyes and sighed. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not going to report you to Father or Grandma or anybody, so you don't have to be afraid. You have my word on this."

Needless to say, Ryuji's words almost made Ruka sag against the wall, flooded with relief. She closed her eyes for a moment then dropped her gaze to the floor. "You... won't?" she asked breathlessly, needed to make sure that she hadn't heard it all wrong.

"I won't," her brother repeated. "On one condition."

Ruka's eyes darted very quickly back to Ryuji's. "_Condition?_"

Ryuji didn't answer her immediately, as if weighing his decision. But when he finally spoke, his voice was very calm and unwavering. "Yes," he said. "I wish to talk with him. Now."

--


	6. The Question

**Author Notes: **Tell you what. This chapter _bores_ its writer. Seriously. It was a pain in my ass because it's mostly dialog, so I'm rather relieved that I'm over it. I initially wanted to just skip this, but it rebelled against me, screaming on my face till my ears ringing, so I have to comply in the end and write it out. Well, just go on and read it. Tell me if you have the same opinion with me or not, even though I can't do anything about it anymore.

_(A shoutout to YenGirl)_ Thank you for helping me closing any loophole in this chapter! –sending a warm hug and a box full chocolate cookies--

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Vampire Knight. But I do want Kain for myself though…

* * *

_Never in my wildest dreams_

_dare I imagine you_

_as mine…_

_Because I know broken dreams_

_can be as unsettling_

_as those that come true._

**Chapter 6. The Question**

Ryuji could see various expressions playing and changing rapidly in Ruka's large eyes. Disbelief… distress… confusion… outrage… anxiety…

"What for?" she demanded shakily, in total disagreement with his request.

"Because I'm your big brother. And this is what a brother is supposed to do when he finds his precious little sister being mistreated by another man. No − don't argue with me…" he sternly cut Ruka's attempt to interrupt his words. "I wish to talk with him. Now."

Ruka fell silent at his words and masked her expression. Slowly, she nodded. "Fine. But could you wait for just five minutes?" she inquired.

"Why?"

Ruka closed her eyes again for a brief moment. "I have to get my blood tablets for him." She said reluctantly.

Ryuji clenched both his fists, his blood boiling with fury. So, in addition to his decadent act on Ruka, the boy was also unable to control his own bloodlust. He automatically scanned Ruka's neck again for any leftover sign that could be perceived as bite marks, and found none. Whether Kain had refrained himself from doing so, or whether Ruka had erased the evidence herself, Ryuji couldn't tell for sure. But the insolent boy was lucky this time, because if only Ryuji had found even one tiny bite mark on his sister's beautiful neck, he would surely have crushed him before the wretched school boy could even say "fang".

Ryuji forced his body to relax. "Okay, go get them. I'll wait here"

--

Kain let himself slide to the bathroom's cold marble floor. He rested his forehead on top of his right hand that lay on his bent knee, as his other hand moved to clutch at the front of his shirt. He was trying hard to dampen his own senses, to ignore the mild trace of Ruka scent that still lingered on his shirt and almost every part of his body. It was cruel – her scent slowly but surely seeped into his body and mind, like a deadly beautiful poison, ensuring Kain would never forget it.

Since when, he reflected, did he start to react so strongly to her like this? Hadn't he been fine the last time he held her close and danced together on the school dance night?

Quiet footsteps coming from outside of the bathroom broke Kain's train of thoughts and he lifted his head expectantly towards the door, relieved that Ruka had returned with the tablets.

Only instead of looking up into Ruka's calm brown eyes, Kain's gaze clashed with a pair of very cold − and furious − blue eyes. Kain was startled, he didn't expect anyone other than Ruka to walk in and find him at this very unfavorable moment. "Ryuji-san? Why are--"

Kain never finished his words.

Quicker than the eye could follow, Ryuji suddenly bent down and snatched Kain's collar to hoist him off the floor. He hurled the brown haired noble violently against the bathroom's ceramic tiled wall, making the tiles crack. Then he placed his forearms on Kain's chest to lock him tightly in place against the wall, fingers with the strength of steel clasping his collar in a choking grip.

The rough impact made Kain's breath rush out of his lungs with a whooshing sound, but he didn't let that stun him long enough, as his hands flew to close themselves around Ryuji's wrists, trying to struggle free. He bucked hard, bluntly ignoring the screaming pain from the back of his head that had collided with the stainless steel towel bar fastened onto the tiles. He didn't know for sure what had caused Ruka's brother to appear out of nowhere to attack him, but he certainly wasn't going to just let him do as he pleased.

Their eyes met once again. This time fiery red orbs clashed fiercely with freezing blue ones. Ryuji had to use all his strength to keep Kain pinned to the wall and he ignored the bone-crushing grip on his wrists which was, undoubtedly, enough to snap the bones of any living mortal and hurt the flesh of any normal class vampire.

"Now you listen to me," Ryuji hissed past a pair of gleaming sharp fangs. His icy blue eyes rapidly turned crimson in anger. "I know what you did to my sister Ruka. And I certainly don't like it," his arms added pressure onto Kain's neck and chest to emphasize his statement. "If I ever − ever find you again, doing your obscene play to my little sister or hurting her in any way, I swear I'll rip your h−"

"Ryuji-nii-san!! What are you doing!?" Ruka lunged forward between her brother and Kain − placing one hand on each of their chests, trying to separate the two vampire nobles who seemed to have molded themselves together as their respective hideously angry auras swirled around them. "Akatsuki! Both of you, stop this foolishness at once!" she grated irritably.

Kain loosened his grip almost immediately at Ruka's command, while Ryuji let out a low menacing growl before releasing his own iron grasp and stepped back, his murderous eyes locked heatedly with Kain's.

Ruka shot an incredulous look towards both males, noting Kain's dishevelled form and Ryuji's faintly discolored wrist. "What is this all about?" she inquired wearily, like a mother who'd caught two of her sons fighting over something.

"Just teaching him his place" Ryuji's voice was a low frosty murmur.

"But you said you just wanted to talk with him! Can't I hold you to your words anymore?" Ruka folded her hands in front of her chest. "I've told you didn't I, Nii-san, that it wasn't like what you thought! You have misunderstood us."

Ryuji look at her with evident disappointment on his face. "Misunderstood? You would like to entertain me again with your story on how you lost one of your earrings?" he asked Ruka while throwing Kain a furious glare. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Ruka," his eyes shifting back to Ruka again, "did he debauch you that much? For you to go down so low as to try to cover him who− "

Ruka opened her mouth fast, wanting to deflect Ryuji's unfair accusation, but Kain was faster. In one fluid movement, he had stepped forward and placed himself in front of Ruka, displaying a protective stance over her. "That's enough already, Ryuji-san," he interrupted the dark-haired noble with a calm yet authoritative voice. "You can condemn or insult me to your heart's content and I'll take it all, but please, don't speak ill or dishonor your sister because I will not take it lightly, even though you are her blood brother. It is entirely my fault this happened, so it would be wise of you to hold _me_ responsible. Not her," Kain's eyes valiantly held Ryuji's, challenging him to say something.

A moment of deafening silence followed the end of Kain's sentence, in which Ryuji's initially furious expression subsided into mild astonishment and Ruka found herself speechless, staring at Kain's straight broad back, her eyes huge. She'd never had expected him to defend her like this as well as shoulder all the blame while in actual fact, it was her fault to put him in such a tough position in the first place. She was the one who had enticed him. Kain could have easily gotten himself out if he wanted to… but he hadn't. Instead, he'd stood by her.

Ruka felt her cheeks warmed. What Kain had said and the way he defied her brother for her made her feel so... cherished.

"Very well," Ryuji finally said. His expression showed that Kain had exceeded his previous assessment. "Then let's hope that I will never catch you responsible for the second time," he turned on his heel, ready to step out of the bathroom when he suddenly stopped to glance at Ruka's direction. "You're playing a risky game, Ruka-chan. Be careful, you are walking down the same path as mine," he said to her with an uncharacteristically soft voice.

Ruka's gaze followed her brother's back until he disappeared behind the door. She felt a slight twist inside her chest as she caught the hint of remorse inside his words and knew very well its reason. But her brother was wrong. She wasn't following his path. She would not let what had happened on him happen to herself or Kain.

Ruka turned to face Kain, relieved to see him looking down at her with his normal brown colored eyes. Apparently her friend's bloodlust had settled down in the midst of the argument. Ruka watched him absently rubbing the back of his head now, and she realized that Kain must have hit it. Had her brother flung him against something earlier? Ruka's eyes flicked towards the spot on the wall where she had found the two of them tangled together and her gaze fell on a metal towel bar, at the exact height of the back of Kain's head.

Ruka winced, feeling a sharp stab of guilt. "I'm sorry," she murmured tremulously.

Kain exhaled. "I don't know what you're apologizing for, Ruka," he answered grimly. "And you've said those words three times already today. If it's about your brother, please don't mention it anymore. He had every right to be mad, and if there's anyone who needs to apologize, it's me, you know. I'm−"

Ruka shook her head fast, thwarting Kain's words of apology from rolling off his tongue. "No, please. Just forget about that. I was the one who started it…"

And not only started it but she'd also responded ardently to his delicious, fevered touch, and almost instantly melted into him the moment he...

_No! Stop− that− now!_ Ruka gave herself a hard mental slap to stop her own mind from going too far. But nonetheless, a series of still vibrant and lively memories of what Kain had done to her and the way she'd felt was playing in the corner of her mind, making her cheeks flame anew.

Oh, this was _so_ not right. She shouldn't be reacting so strongly to Kain like this. Because aside from his accidental bloodlust, his whole conduct clearly stated that he'd only been testing her, and nothing more. Naturally, she should be completely shocked at his change of manner, but no, she had been too engrossed, enjoying his impingement rather that feeling uncomfortable and she'd also done zilch to help herself.

Well, she had done a few things actually, but none of them could even remotely fall into the 'sensible' category.

Geez... What would Kain _think_ of her now?

_Since when did you value his opinion about you?_ A sinister voice suddenly asked inside her mind, startling her.

Yeah, that's right. She didn't realize it before, but she wasn't accustomed to giving a damn about what Kain thought of her. She usually just did whatever she wanted, and never took Kain's opinion − and even his caution − into her consideration. Since when then?

Ruka found the question circling inside her head without any apparent reason until she unexpectedly caught herself recalling the moment she had been looking into Kain's glowing red eyes. Eyes, that had surprisingly shown more than they should have...

"Ruka, are you all right?" Kain sounded a bit worried upon seeing her lost in her thoughts.

"Oh, yeah − I'm just thinking…" Ruka answered unevenly when she saw Kain's quizzical gaze on her. He looked ready to ask about what was occupying her mind and Ruka quickly came up with something to distract him. "Oh, I almost forgot, here are my blood tablets," she extended her hand, holding out a small black plastic box with the Cross Academy crest printed on both its sides. Kain took it from her hand and went to extract a glass from the medicine cabinet to mix himself a much needed blood tablets solution.

Ruka leaned on the bathroom wall, watching Kain down the crimson-colored liquid. "I'm causing you too much trouble," she finally said. Softly, half to herself.

Kain put his glass carefully onto the bathroom marble counter before turning back to Ruka. "No, you're not, Ruka. Please don't think like that, would you? Speaking as if you have becoming my burden…" he stepped in front of her, inviting her gaze up to meet his gentle eyes. "…because you're not. And you never will."

Ruka could only nod. She couldn't answer him, because all at once she felt her throat constricted and her heart overflowed with warmth, moved by Kain's words.

Kain gave her a tentative smile. "Good. Now, you should go back to your room, and change your clothes." He propelled her softly by her shoulder out of the bathroom.

"Eh…? But why?"

"Because I have made up my mind to help you," Kain answered with some wasn't-it-obvious-already tone. "And we need some excuse for our disappearance should your parents ask. Which I'm sure they will. And oh, I assume Ryuji somehow knows about this…?"

Ruka tried to hide her worried frown. "Yes, he knows most of it. He forced me to tell him, but don't worry, he promised me to be silent about all this." Ruka confirmed, but not so convincingly despite what she had just said.

"It's okay, don't worry. I think he is capable of holding onto his own words. Besides, if things turn out differently from what you've planned, I will try my best to help." Kain said reassuringly.

Ruka gave him a curious look. Why did Kain sound like he had an extra plan? Wasn't she the one who owned all the plans?

She was about to ask, but Kain guided her to the door. "Okay, you should really leave now, before another member of your family pops up again in my room."

--

Souen Kyousuke dropped down tiredly onto the chair inside his cozy drawing room. He rubbed his face with both hands then eyed his wife who sat beside him, perfectly composed and undisturbed while her nimble hand steadily flew across her design book lying on top of her lap, filling out its pages with her famous fashion design sketches.

"Rena," he began.

"Hm?"

"How can you be so calm at a time like this?"

Renata chuckled lightly. "I'm always calm, aren't I? That's the reason why you married me in the first place, or have you forgotten?" she sent Kyousuke a fond look. "Besides, aren't you the one who always sweat over matters?"

"But, Rena, aren't you worried about what our Ruka decided to do?" Kyousuke asked her sourly. Ruka's exceptional and unexpected interruption to his speech tonight had completely shocked him, and given him a hard time during the party afterwards.

"We haven't asked her regarding this matter, have we?" Renata smiled, her pair of amber eyes back on the design book and her hand continuing its work.

"Mother is right, Father. Ruka must have her own reasons."

Kyousuke turned his head towards his third son who also sat calmly in his favorite spot reading a newspaper, a perfect mirror image of his mother's upbringing. For most people who didn't know him well, he would simply look like some schoolboy brat, with his longish dark hair that grew past his shirt collar. But the impression usually only lasted until the subject of business was brought into their conversation and revealed the fact that behind the defiant look that was never absent from Takehiko's olive green eyes, he actually possessed a brilliant business skill which surpassed many veteran vampires'.

Kyousuke glared at him. "Hah! You always follow what your Mother has said. And you're also taking Ruka's side because both of you are birds of the same feather!" Kyousuke rasped his irritated retort and glanced towards his wife and son in turn, exasperated by the fact that Takehiko and Renata always shared the opinion, and showed little concern regarding various matters.

Takehiko tore his eyes away from the article he'd been reading to give Kyousuke a slightly annoyed look. "I'm not taking sides, Father. I'm being neutral. And please don't put me together with Ruka, I'm not as hot headed as she is," he stated blandly.

"Yes. Not hot headed, but stone headed! Have you forgotten how much trouble you put us in four years ago? And now Ruka has followed your no good, ominous path!" Kyousuke roared hotly, then stood up and began to pace around the room. He didn't care that Takehiko was ignoring him, as long as he could release his pent up anger. "Am I the only one here who still have some sanity left? You know what Shugo Tenma said to me? I swear I will..."

"Kyou-chin, please calm down and control yourself" Renata said softly without diverting her eyes off the pages on her lap. "I have my precious china here, and I certainly don't want to lose them to your nasty temper."

Kyousuke grunted but he relented to Renata's request as he always did and sat back down in his previous spot. "Fine then, as everyone suggested, I'll ask my daughter and her man of choice some questions. Saeko, inform them that I wish to talk to them now. Here."

Saeko, who had been standing silently on the corner listening to their banter swiftly stepped ahead and bowed in a perfect servant manner to Kyousuke's request. "Right away, Kyousuke-sama." She turned and went out of the room.

Kyousuke shook his head resignedly. "The two of them even dared to leave the party before it finished. I thought this time, I would get myself the minimum of headaches because Ruka is a girl, but apparently, she is the one who gave me the biggest headache! And this is only the beginning. I can't imagine−"

The room door swung open as Kyousuke was speaking and Yoshiko came in. "What is it, Kyousuke? Did I just hear you ranting like a woman?" she gave her son an amused smile.

Kyousuke jumped from his seat and stepped forward to welcome the old lady. "Mother! You come at the right time! I've just summoned Ruka and Kain here. I want to question them both."

Yoshiko nodded in agreement. "Good decision. I want to hear about it from them too." she said as she seated herself on Renata's side.

"Perfect!" Kyousuke eyes lit up enthusiastically at Yoshiko's confirmation "I think they really owe us some explanation for causing such a disruption to our plans."

"Just remember to keep your temper in check, Kyou-chin," Renata annotated him smoothly, accompanied by her expressive glance.

Yoshiko chuckled, catching the look she knew so well on her daughter-in-law's face. Renata was the only one who could withstand and neutralize Kyousuke's bad traits with her patient and composed demeanor.

A soft knock came from the door.

"Ah, here they come," said Kyousuke in an almost relieved tone, happy that he didn't have to reply to his wife's reminder. "Come in!" he bellowed.

The door swung open, and Ruka entered followed by Kain. Both of them already changed out of their earlier outfits into fresh clothes, and smelled of soap. Kyousuke frowned. So, the reason of their disappearance was to take a shower?

How weird…

"Please sit down, Ruka, Akatsuki-san," Kyousuke gestured them to the chairs in front of him. "Taken your showers already?"

He watched his daughter exchange a subtle glance with Kain as they took their seats. Plotting something, eh? Kyousuke thought.

"Someone dumped white wine on Akatsuki," answered Ruka flatly.

"Who was it? I wonder why they would do something like that?" Kyousuke put a frown between his brows, trying to look surprised and concerned, but his tone of voice failed him and he ended up sounding amused.

Ruka's scowled. "What are you insinuating, Father?" she replied icily, ready to start a fight if needed.

"Ruka!" Kain warned her under his breath, making Kyousuke's suddenly intrigued gaze shift from Ruka to him.

Kyousuke quirked his brow. Why did this boy remind him so much of his own wife?

"Nothing, really," Kyousuke shook his head. He quickly decided that he would proceed asking Ruka first, whom he firmly believed was the main conspirator in this whole plot. "Now Ruka, I would like to know what has driven you to make such an outrageous statement during the party."

Ruka pressed her lips together. "Didn't you pay attention when I said it earlier to our guests, Father?"

"Ruka, that's not the way to talk to your Father." Again, Kain whispered his warning.

Renata lifted up her head and stopped sketching. "Then perhaps you, Akatsuki-san? Would you care to explain to us?" Her amber eyes glowed as they rested on Kain, examining him silently.

Kain offered her his best apologetic smile. "Renata-san, it's precisely like what Ruka had said earlier during the party - it was her choice and I took it as my honor. I very much apologize if I have caused any disturbances for anyone."

Renata regarded him for a while, deciding that it was, after all, her daughter's doing that had dragged this young vampire noble into the whole mess. "It's fine, Akatsuki-san. In that case, it was beyond your control."

Kyousuke cut in. "But really, Ruka, why not just have him participate in your formal courting? No need to cut off the other suitors' chances, by throwing us this dry joke."

"What chance, Father? They don't even have a chance to begin with," Ruka glared at him, seething. "If you think that this was some kind of joke I learn from Takehiko, I assure you, it isn't. I take this very seriously. I _have_ chosen Akatsuki to be my long life partner, and I believe you will let me proceed," she showed Kyousuke a deliberate, taunting face. "I will take what you've previously affirmed as my 'right to choose'."

"But why him, Ruka, of all people?" Kyousuke asked frustratedly. He knew that he couldn't take back his own words, but Ruka was seriously giving him trouble by her selfish, impulsive decision. He exhaled furiously, he didn't understand what her daughter had inside her head at all.

Kyousuke's questioning gaze pierced Ruka's determined one. "Do you know why I didn't invite any of your friends from Cross Academy to this party, Ruka?" Kyousuke chided, his voice softening as he was aware he was treading on dangerous ground. "Because I know about your affection over Kuran-sama! As much as I like the idea of him returning your affection, and eventually joining our family, I'm also realistic enough to know that he does not have any interest in you."

Ruka was keeping her silent, so he continued. "That's why I tried to exempt anybody who has any close connection with him. I didn't even invite Ichijo Takuma whom I honestly thought would suit you. I wanted to lessen as much as possible, anything that could possibly connect you to him, in expectation that you could forget this ridiculous infatuation of yours and get a brighter prospect for your life."

Kain was sitting very still on his chair, listening intently to Kyousuke's tirade. Finally, everything was starting to make sense. Actually Kain had begun to wonder if there was something peculiar about the party he was attending. Originally, he was expecting to find a few of their Cross Academy classmates being invited to the party as well. But he could find none of them there, and that was odd, because logically, they should be invited, considering most of them were from rich and influential families which, without a doubt would well fit with Ruka.

Ruka snorted amusedly and tossed her head. It was a completely unappealing idea, her being paired with the friendly, blond-haired Assistant Dorm Leader. They had no chemistry at all together, to begin with. But then again, neither did any of her other Cross Academy friends.

Really, she just wanted to be left alone.

"You don't have to push it that far, Father. Thinking that I hope in vain for something, or someone to connect me with Kaname-sama," she protested.

"Oh, really? So why is this Kain Akatsuki sitting in our drawing room tonight? Don't tell me that you've forgotten he is Kuran-sama's left hand man?" Kyousuke waved his hand at Kain's direction.

Ruka gave Kyousuke a steady gaze. "Father, I don't care if you imagine I'm still pining after Kaname-sama, because the fact is, I'm not. Not anymore," she paused for a moment to silently study her father's surprised, half disbelieving reaction.

On her right side, Ruka could feel Kain stirring uncomfortably at the mention of Kaname's name, and after a while he shot her a prolonged, intent look. Ruka wilfully ignored him and continued to speak. "I have, for a while, learned to forget about him. I have also offered him an apology for my immature act during all this time. If you don't believe me, Father, you could on any occasion try to mention this to him and get his confirmation to appease your curiosity." Ruka paused, half expecting her Father to shoot more questions at her confident statement. But he didn't, so Ruka just carried on.

"I hope my explanation is enough to answer your question, Father, and if you don't have any further questions, I would like to change the subject." she finished coldly, her chin held high. "Oh, and one more thing, please speak with more consideration. You've been talking to me as if Akatsuki's not present in this room at all!"

Kyousuke determinedly ignored a stifled cough sound that came from Takehiko at Ruka's remonstration. He glowered at Ruka instead, ready to send his comeback, but halted when Yoshiko promptly cleared her throat indicating him that she would like to take over his speech.

"Akatsuki-san," she began, her voice was firm with a hint of dignity, as one may expect from a noble born who had lived for hundreds of years. "Please forgive my son's lack of courtesy, I believe you understand that was because of his concern for Ruka, don't you?" she offered Kain her warm smile. "I won't deny that you are the one our beloved Ruka has chosen. But may I ask you one little question?"

Kain could do nothing but nod. "Anything you please, Yoshiko-san,"

"Very well..." Yoshiko affirmed complacently. "I think… I would like to know, what you can give to Ruka by being her chosen one," her hazel eyes were gentle on Kain, but piercing at the same time.

The question took Kain aback and his gaze dropped to the floor. He hadn't expected that one. Of all questions he had anticipated to receive from Ruka's enraged family members, _this_ certainly wasn't one of them. Yoshiko's question was clearly asking him about his responsibility in being Ruka's future spouse, which of course, had never dawned on him before. Besides, why would he ever need to think of what he would give to Ruka when he was just a… _phony_?

Everyone turned silent as their eyes were drawn to Kain's brooding figure. Kyousuke had a small, satisfied smile playing upon his lips. Unquestionably, this was not the first time he witnessed Yoshiko plying her chat partners with difficult questions that often silenced them for quite a while.

"Well, Akatsuki-san…?" Yoshiko inquired again after some time.

Kain returned his gaze to the old lady, trying hard to hide any uncertain look in his eyes. He knew what to answer her, but something still nagged at the corner of his mind.

"Yes, Yoshiko-san, I…" Kain could hear his voice lacking self-confidence so he stopped, cleared his throat and started over.

"Happiness," He said resolutely, his deep voice filled with unquestioning sincerity. He looked straight into Yoshiko's eyes. "I would give my best to ensure her happiness, this I can promise you. I will put her need before mine, ahead of all other matters, and cherish her above anything else in this world."

There, he had said it. He hadn't prepared the answer to this question, he'd never thought about it before. But if – just if − he was given the real chance to be with Ruka for life, then without a doubt, _this_ would be the exact things he would _provide_ her with.

Kain could hear Ruka exhale softly at his reply and he couldn't stop himself from giving her a glance − was that amazement mixed with… delight… he saw in her soft brown eyes?

Yoshiko nodded once, but she didn't look very impressed. "And why would you do that for my dear Ruka?"

Kain looked back at Yoshiko and fell silent at once. He had _no idea_ at all how to answer this particular question, and didn't even know why Yoshiko asked the second question after the first one. Didn't he answer the first clearly enough? That he promised to ensure Ruka's happiness, like he'd done all this time? Why would the old lady asked him for his motive in doing so? Kain swallowed unconsciously, and looked around as if trying to search for the answer he didn't have.

Seeing no reply coming from Kain, Yoshiko sighed and shook her head lightly. She kind of knew from the start that he would not be able to answer this particular question even though the question was so simple. Well, what could she say? The boy wasn't ready yet to find the answer. Yoshiko felt a mixture of disappointment and relief at the same time. At least she could see that Kain was sincere with his answer for the first question.

"I see you can't answer my question yet, Akatsuki-san." she said softly. "It's okay. There will come a time when you will be able to answer it. Or so, I hope." She watched Kain's face – he looked half puzzled and half ashamed.

Yoshiko smiled a little and turned to her son who was observing them wordlessly. "Kyousuke, I'm sorry, but I think you have to let them have it their own way −" she announced and held out her right hand as she saw Kyousuke wanted to utter his objection. " – at least for now. If you want to know why I approve of this, I'll explain my reason to you later. Ruka, Akatsuki, you two may go now."

They didn't need to be told twice. Kain was quick to trot behind Ruka who practically flew out of the drawing room. She walked with quick steps straight to the almost empty living room before finally stopping at the foot of the grand staircase and turning to face Kain.

"Um... Akatsuki..."

"Yeah?"

_Ruka was going to ask me about the question_, Kain could see it in her eyes but then she looked hesitated. "Ah...sorry it's nothing," she said.

Kain exhaled with relief, didn't know how to answer her if she was really asking him the same question her Grandmother had asked. "I thought you're going to give me further instructions on what to do next?" Kain pocketed both his hands as he waited for her reply.

"No, actually I haven't got any idea - yet. But in general, I think we have to put up some sort of show to make everyone believe us more. Because I can see that my father still thinks that I'm playing some kind of joke on him," Ruka scowled.

Kain gave her an innocent look. "Aren't you?"

"Akatsuki!"

A rare playful grin flashed on Kain's lips. "Sorry," he almost added '_couldn't resist_' but quickly deferred as he caught sight of the deadly glare Ruka was giving him. Man, Ruka was so uptight… "Actually, I got an idea of what we'd better do if you want to gain such impression," he said quietly after a while.

Ruka arched her brow. "And what is that?"

"You'll see for yourself tomorrow," he started to climb the stairs.

"Are we playing riddles?" Ruka didn't follow him. She stayed where she stood, asking with a slightly irritated voice.

Kain stopped. "No, I'm not. I just need to prepare it first," he shrugged. "It's still new, anyway."

Ruka watched as Kain proceeded to ascend the stairs, his movements graceful and unhurried, leaving her standing alone at the base of the stairs. And being left like that, Ruka couldn't help but muse who was it between the two of them, who supposed to come up with a plan in the first place.

--

**End note:** For those who are not familiar with Japanese honorific, you could visit use google or wikipedia, so you would know why Renata called her husband like that –smirk--


	7. And I See You

**Author's note: **Thank you for all that have dropped me reviews and comments regarding last chapter --wide grin--. Good to know that some people love Ruka and Kain pairing :). I also have my special thanks for YenGirl, who in the midst of her busy life had taken out her precious hours to help me edit this chapter. God bless your kind heart, girl. :)

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight is not mine as well as some facts that being included inside this story. They are credited to Wikipedia and other internet sources.

* * *

_I force myself to test your patience_

_defy your sincere kindness_

_and cruelly violate your heart,_

_because it's hard for me __to ignore you_

_and I long to be treasured_

_even when I'm undeserving._

**Chapter 7. And I See You **

The light sound of someone's fingers tapping on her balcony glass door awoke Ruka. She rubbed her eyes drowsily, turned under the covers and almost went back to sleep instantly were it not for the persistent tapping that went on and on.

Ruka groaned. It must be Akatsuki, undoubtedly, since there were no other sane living vampires − or persons − who would dare to wake her up in such an original, creative way.

Grunting softly, Ruka eyes her bedside clock to see that it was only two hours past midday. Seriously, that Akatsuki! Ruka dragged herself out of bed lazily, regretting having unintentionally shown him the most convenient way to reach her room two days ago. Still partly asleep, she auto-piloted to the balcony door and was actually stretching out her had to open it before her brain sent a belated reminder that she was still in her sleeping attire. She turned, grabbed a shawl then tottered back to the glass door.

Kain gave her an amused expression from the other side of the glass when she pulled aside the dark violet curtains and winced at the brightness coming from outside. She sent Kain a venomous look before unlocking the door to let him, then turned her back on him. "Is life boring you?" she threw over her shoulder.

Kain sauntered into the room, tailing Ruka and bringing in with him the scent of roses from the garden below mingling with the sharp scent of soap. "Good afternoon," he replied with excessive blitheness at her snappy words.

Irritated at Kain's sunshiny mood and ready to whip him another remark, Ruka turned sharply.

Only to face a single yellow rose only two inches away from her nose.

The flower was so close she could see the satin softness of its delicate, perfect petals. Ruka's eyes widened. What the −? Kain was _giving _her a rose? She stared at the half blooming rose in front of her face with complete bewilderment. "Why are you… ?" she inquired.

Kain shifted on his feet. "It's my… excuse… if someone sees me standing on your balcony…"

Ruka glanced up at Kain's suspicious sounding discomfort. His hesitantly spoken words were adorned with just a hint of shyness in it, and it pricked at her curiosity. It made her speculate on whether the flower helped to make up an excuse for him or was it the other way around − Kain making up an excuse to give her the flower. And judging from his tone, there was a big possibility it was the latter...

Hey, wait a minute… Ruka quickly shook her head vigorously, to clear her hazy thoughts and awaken her apparently sleeping brain. She was imagining things. Because there was no way Kain could suddenly turn into a… _womanizer_… like his cousin, could he? Appearing out of nowhere just to deliver a rose to her... But then again, for someone like him, to be able to think and conjure up such a false − but romantic − emergency excuse was really an out of the ordinary practice. So, which one was true? His words, or… or that tantalising hint of uncertainty she heard in his voice?

Ruka sighed and buried her face in her left palm, feeling confused. "You're not being corrupted by Aidou, are you?" she lifted her eyes towards him again.

Kain frowned. "Well... it's okay if you don't want it, I think I will just throw −"

"No, it's fine −" Gosh, her mouth was definitely working faster than her brain this afternoon. "I... I mean, I'll take it if you're sure that you won't need it anymore."

Okay. That was really a lame line. She'd impetuously said that even though she didn't even seriously want the rose. She just sounded so _damn_ expectant…

Kain's lips tilted upwards as he shrugged carelessly. "No, I won't."

Ruka took the flower from his hands without saying anything else. She didn't dare open her mouth, in case she piled additional disgrace upon herself with more wrong comments. She went to retrieve a tall glass from her bathroom, filling it with some water and dropping in the rose before placing the glass on her bedside table. Then she returned to Kain.

"Okay, so what's this important matter that made you show up in my room so early?" Ruka asked while restraining herself from adding something irrelevant to her question. Like mentioning again about the Kain's 'just-in-case' excuse that was now gracefully resting in a glass of water on her bedside table, for instance…

"I just wanted to tell you that we'll be going out today," Kain informed her.

Ruka blinked. "Going out?"

"Yes, since you mentioned about putting up some show for everyone." Kain scratched his temple, seemingly working out the gears inside his brain. "I'm sure these two suitors you mentioned to me before, who took an interest in you, are from pretty well-respected families, right?"

Ruka nodded, but didn't quite catch the purpose why Kain asked her that question. "Shushei and Tenma? Of course they are. Especially Tenma. They own a multi-company business and one of its subsidiaries is my father's biggest basic material supplier."

It was actually a piece of information Ruka had accidentally overheard sometime ago from her brothers' conversation in their father's office. During that time, Ryuji and Shigeru were having an all out argument with her father. If she didn't remember it wrongly, Ryuji was the one who wanted to kick Tenma out of their position as a main material supplier. Shigeru had agreed with him at that time, but not Kyousuke. In the end their father had vetoed the plan, stating that it would be like cutting off their own feet and would eventually shock their whole established, expanding business network.

Ruka tipped her head questioningly at Kain. "Why would you want to know?"

"Because it has some significant relation to my plan − or our plan − once you approve," Kain answered confidently. "I think it's safe to assume that they possessed some subordinates who are in charge for collecting the latest information, right?"

"Of course."

"Good. That's what I guessed. Even if they're not, news will still reach their ears somehow, if people start to spot us going out in public together. That will..."

"... give them an undeniable fact that I'm serious about what I announced during the party" Ruka completed his sentence, deftly catching onto his idea.

"Yeah, that's the plan." Kain confirmed. "So, what do you think?"

Ruka gave a small, off-handed shrug. "I think it's fine since we currently don't have any other ideas." Kain's idea was reasonable enough, for them to put up some sort of show. But Ruka was a little worried since she wasn't sure if she could put up a believable act of being one half of a couple in front of the public. And of course she had a few other reasons too, which formed her overall uncertainty.

Kain caught the doubt in Ruka's eyes. "Are you sure? We can think it over if you−"

"No, it's okay," Ruka cut him off, already making up her mind. She shouldn't be this picky when she didn't have any other idea to mull over.

"Okay then," Kain give her a quick nod and walked back to the balcony. He set one foot over the balcony railing, ready to leap over to the only tree that grew to the same level of Ruka's balcony. He turned to face her a moment before he leapt. "Just get ready. We'll depart before the sun sets."

--

Ruka gazed out of the car window lazily, squinting her eyes and feeling somewhat bored. Normally she would enjoy watching the town's scenery at its bustling and peak time, but today, the sun was especially cruel even in its final hour. It even managed to penetrate through the car's windows. And sun rays were sun rays, hostile and annoying to every vampire. Well, except maybe for their vice dorm leader − Ichijou Takuma who was seemingly immune to it.

Actually, Ruka didn't hate the sun as much as Kain's cousin − Aidou Hanabusa − did, but she surely would feel better without it. Because presently the uniquely designed dark tempered window glass of the car − which was said to enhance a vampire's riding comfort − couldn't completely ward off the almost setting sun's rays. Maybe the car would do better with some curtains but then again curtains couldn't be put on the driver and front passenger windows. So, in short, a day trip sucked.

She should consider it a miracle that Kain had been driving safely for almost an hour now - in the midst of the blinding light no less. And he wasn't even wearing sunglasses to protect his eyes.

"Remind me again, why I need to do this?" she muttered absently to herself, her hand toying with the white silk ribbon adorning her blouse. She couldn't quite understand why Kain wanted to push it, going out two hour before the sun set. This is a _holiday_, for Pete's sake, not a school day. Why did it have to be so early then?

Kain peeled his eyes off the road as his ear caught Ruka's light murmur. "What did you say?" he asked, eyeing Ruka's mildly goaded expression. He started to wonder if his plan was going to be effective after all, with Ruka only participating half-heartedly.

Ruka shook her head. "Never mind. Please don't look away from the road, Akatsuki." It was her first time being in a car with Kain behind the wheel. Even though she found he had a steady hand at driving, she really didn't want to take any chances.

"Don't worry," Kain replied confidently. He shifted his eyes back to the road, but not giving his full attention as he tried to think of why Ruka had looked disconcerted. Was it really because of the sun? Or was she anxious of his driving skills? It could be due to various reasons actually, that Kain would surely have tried to get rid of, if only he knew which one it was.

"So, where do you want to go first?"

Ruka threw him a worried glance. "I thought you're the one with the plan?"

"Yes, I am. But why not go to the places you want to go to first?" Kain suggested in a hearty tone. He was hoping that if he put up a good mood front, Ruka would eventually feel more comfortable. It wouldn't be good for both of them if she was tensed up the whole evening.

Kain's words drew a half smile on Ruka's lips as she suddenly recalled his answer to her Grandmother's inquiry last night. Ruka had wanted to ask him about it after they left the room, wanted to know if Kain had meant those words, that's all. But the moment the question almost escaped her lips, she suddenly realized how it would put both her and Kain in an awkward situation. Kain wouldn't lie to her, she knew that undoubtedly. However, he was also unable to hurt her heart.

So, what if the answer he'd given her Grandmother was a mere fake, well-thought out though it was? Would he choose to speak the truth and hurt her feelings, or even worse, lie to her if she asked? All of these questions combined to make Ruka stop abruptly at the last moment. She seriously didn't dare try to wheedle the truth out of Kain's mouth, afraid that the truth would hurt.

_You can seek my support as always_... He had said that before, and now Kain had acted in accordance with what he had promised to her Grandmother, whether he intended it or not. Would it be too much if she believed in him? If she assumed that Kain was sincere with his words?

_Oh yeah, he was sincere…and so what, Ruka? _

Ruka frowned irritably at the thought. In all honesty, she shouldn't care. She knew that she shouldn't give a damn whether Kain had really meant it when he had said that he would give his best to ensure her happiness, cherish her above anything else... but she did. She _sadly _did. And it bothered her.

"How about that?" Ruka finally pointed out at a middle-aged, majestic looking building which stood on across an extensive park down the road.

"Hm?" Kain took a glimpse at the direction Ruka was pointing. A frown fashioned his brow. Ruka's selection was unusual this time. "Isn't that the planetarium? You wanna go there?"

"It's okay as long as it's not bathed with sunlight," Ruka answered uncaringly.

"Okay then," Kain answered, thinking of why Ruka had sounded like his cousin as he increased the car's speed to reach the building faster.

The planetarium parking lot was crowded when Kain pulled his car to a stop at the front gate to get his parking ticket. It was Sunday and the planetarium was full of various study groups from universities and schools students paying a visit. He parked his car at the first empty space he spotted and quickly got out to help Ruka with the passenger door.

Ruka was a little bewildered at Kain's courteous gesture. It was unusual. Taking it as a sign that their little stage performance had started, Ruka tried to make her expression neutral. She gracefully stepped out of the car, determined to put up a calm exterior and waited for Kain to lock the car before starting to walk out of the parking area towards the Planetarium building. Ruka heard Kain's footsteps following behind her shortly before he placed his hand around her waist in casual but possessive embrace.

His touch made Ruka stiffened in surprise. She couldn't help but throw a wide eyed look at Kain who seemed oblivious of her discomfort and was wearing a very calm and collected expression while looking away from her. Ruka gritted her teeth. She had to muster all her will to stop herself from shifting away from Kain. She could feel the warmth of his hand slowly penetrating the soft material of her blouse while his fresh, familiar scent teased her nose. God, it was so… distracting.

Ruka swallowed nervously, her pulse accelerating. Never mind that she should have passed the initial shock of being touched physically. Never mind that she tried to remind herself that this wasn't the first time Kain had touched her, and they had done even _more_ than just touching last night. She found that she seriously couldn't ignore their body contact now.

Kain could feel Ruka's tense body under his touch while his keen hearing caught the sound of her softly hitching breath. He hid his thin, amused smile. She must have completely forgotten that they had to act as a couple because her body language clearly said that she wasn't expecting Kain to touch her in public. He exhaled − Ruka was being naïve despite stating that she'd known all about the consequences of her own crazy plan. What did she expect them to do? To go on a date acting like two total strangers instead of lovers?

Kain steered her to the main entrance. This was going to be a long evening…

Ruka's eyes fell on the long queue formed on the ticket booth as they neared the building main lobby. "I think we came at a wrong time," she muttered grimly.

"Don't worry, I'll get our tickets. You just wait for me there, ok?" Kain gestured towards a low stone wall beneath rows of shady trees.

"But..." she quibbled, feeling uneasy to let Kain queue alone. Her eyes moved to examine the groups of mortals who made their way in and out of the entrance hall − some of them were children and adolescent school students that screamed excitedly as they pushed their way past their wearily guarding teachers. They reminded her of Cross Academy Day Class students and it made her edgy.

"We could go somewhere else if you prefer," Kain said as he followed her uneasy view.

Ruka sighed. Between the merrily blasting sun and planetarium, she would of course prefer the latter. "No, it's okay, Akatsuki. This is what we intended, isn't it? Public crowds," she said with a barely noticeable note of reluctance on her voice before detaching herself from him and walking off to sit on the stone wall.

Fifteen minutes later, Kain and Ruka entered the cool, air conditioned main lobby of the planetarium where Kain stopped at the building's map and directory first so they wouldn't get lost. Ruka stepped forward as well, eyes skimming over the map. The dominant feature of the planetarium was its dome theatre that played a simulation show of sky objects every hour. Other than that, there were also a few display rooms for educational purpose.

"This looks interesting," Ruka pointed at the stellar room section on the map. To be honest, nothing on the map appeared interesting to her, but she picked one anyway because there was no reason to wait for Kain to ask her again. He had said that he would tag along with her, so they would never move on unless she chose a destination.

"Oh?" Kain threw a sideways glance over Ruka, rather surprised that she was showing initiative this time. "Yeah, I think I want to go there too… come on." Kain turned on his heel and took Ruka's right hand in his left at the same time.

Ruka inhaled softly. She staggered a little on her feet as she looked down, transfixed at their joined hands. One way or another, holding hands with Kain seemed much more intimate than just his hand placed possessively around her waist and it also made her appear as if she really was Kain's lover…

"Ruka? Are you all right?" Kain asked as he saw Ruka halted. He knew the reason for it though, without even having to confirm it. Ruka's expression said it all and Kain couldn't help but silently enjoy the display of a lovely faint blush that made its way up on Ruka's fair cheeks. "What's wrong?"

What's wrong? He was asking her what was _wrong_? Ruka gritted her teeth, not quite believing her own ears. Didn't Kain know? Everything was wrong. She reacted too much to his touch − that was wrong. They were fooling everyone – another wrong. He was being natural as if he sincerely meant everything he'd done. Hell, _that _was wrong too.

The only thing that wasn't wrong or at least didn't _feel _wrong, was his big, warm hand closed delightfully around her own smaller one. That contact felt strangely right, even though it wasn't supposed to.

And she didn't even know how it could feel so right, because Kain was only her friend. No matter what the circumstance was, it shouldn't be right for her to feel that way. She didn't _want_ herself to feel that way. It was too frightening.

"Never mind, let's go," Ruka managed with difficulties to answer Kain with a steadfast voice as she let her hand remain in his and stopped herself from making any further assumptions on what was actually just a simple hand holding gesture.

Kain opened his mouth, wanted to say something, but then he relented and went on guiding Ruka to the stellar section.

This section, like any other part of the planetarium, was pretty crowded. The room was moderately large, with a high ceiling. Its walls were filled with various display pictures, constellations map and star atlas, while various astronomical instruments were being placed scattered around the room. Most of the visitors there were groups of astronomy students who were busy taking notes and observing the displays, articles and stellar maps. Some of them were listening intently to their teacher or chatting idly with each other.

"Akatsuki, we are being watched..." Ruka breathed as soon as they entered the room and noticed they were being looked at by some students who stood near the entrance.

Kain scanned their surroundings and found many female students gaping at him. He sighed resignedly. It was a good thing he didn't have his spoiled cousin with him at the moment. Kain knew that the blond haired aristocrat would be more than happy to use this opportunity to gain a new fan base for himself. "It's no different here than at the academy is it?"

Not really, Ruka thought sceptically, as she observed the growing number of people who had shifted their attention to both Kain and her, drawn by the physical perfection the two of them possessed. Even though the admirers were still mostly female, the look on their faces was slightly different from the Academy's Day Class female students'. What was the actual difference, Ruka couldn't quite tell. But it was there, she could recognize it in their wide, amazed eyes.

"Don't worry, Ruka," Kain whispered in her ear as he found her still standing alertly by the doorway. I'm sure they are all past the age where they would likely pounce on us, like the Day Class girls. Come on, let's go see what this place has to offer."

Ruka nodded and let Kain began to make their way from one object to another as she tried to follow on what had caught his interest. But almost too soon she found herself struggling to keep her focus from drifting away. She was quickly losing track because Science wasn't much of an appeal for her. The fact that they were still holding hands also stole a large portion of her concentration.

Her attention shifted to Kain instead, who seemed to be completely composed and appeared normal as if holding Ruka's hand was something he'd done thousands of times. Ruka grimaced. How can he be so relaxed like this while she was trying so hard to calm herself?

Kain sensed the beautiful girl on his left was spacing out again and he pressed his lips together almost imperceptibly. He started to wonder what he would give to at least gain some insight over Ruka's current state of mind.

Because the way she was behaving - jumpy in one second and attention drifting away in the next - was inciting a negative feeling within him, slowly but surely eroding his self confidence with every second of that 'trapped animal' feeling she was emanating so obviously. Her reaction made him feel as if his very presence was a kind of… nuisance… or… disturbance… to her, which she didn't dare tell him, afraid of hurting his feelings.

Kain closed his eyes in frustration. He didn't remember ever seeing Ruka as a hesitant and timid person like this before. She was always a resolute, confident and even impulsive character sometimes. So sure of what she wanted, that was the Ruka Souen he knew, not this girl beside him right now, looking so lost and even desperate to get away from him. This left him no alternative than to talk it out with her.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Ruka gave a light start at his question. "Eh…?" She raised her head up to meet Kain's gaze, having no idea at all what he was talking about.

Kain frowned a little at her, but gestured his head towards the wall. Ruka shifted her eyes to the direction he indicated and her eyes caught a display picture of gas-like mass, forming a brilliantly colourful round disc. It was indeed beautiful like Kain said.

"What is that?" she asked him.

"Kepler's supernova remnants," Kain answered quietly as his eyes studied Ruka's reaction. He turned to face the display again and start explaining distractedly while his own focus was rather stretched thin due to his own agitation. He didn't like what he had seen in Ruka's eyes…

"A supernova is a stellar explosion. The death of a star. It produces a very luminous explosion and energy as much as the sun could emit over its entire life span. And the burst of radiation often outshines an entire galaxy, but lasts only for a short period before it fades," he explained tonelessly.

"Oh... I just knew such thing exists −"

Kain took his chance – it was now or never. "It's because you _never_ pay enough attention." he cut off her words tersely. "Not here and not at the Science class back in the Academy. Science bores you out, while History and Art always get your full attention. I just don't understand why you forced yourself to choose this place earlier" Kain said in a strained, edged voice. He turned, fully facing Ruka, taking in her astounded expression at his uncharacteristic bluntness. He ignored her surprise, he was tired of her pretence anyway.

"I agreed to go anywhere you choose, anywhere you like, Ruka, because I thought it would help you to be more relaxed if there's something there that has your interest." Kain explained in a gentler tone, which couldn't quite hide his disappointment. "If you don't like this place, you should just say so, you know? I can see you don't enjoy being in here."

Kain's troubled chocolate eyes were looking very intently at her and his voice softened even more, unaware that it somehow hinted at his own insecurity as he asked, "Or… is it me? Am I the one who's making you uncomfortable now?"

Ruka stared perplexed at Kain, stunned over his abrupt mood swing and straight forward question. She fell silent, undecided as to what to answer. He had made his point this time. It wasn't his fault that her jittery demeanour had irritated him. She should have remembered that Kain was always so sensitive to her emotional condition that it would often affect him in some way too.

Kain wanted her to be honest, but Ruka was afraid that he would be angry if she confirmed his question. Should she profess that she was getting so worked up because he was holding her hand in his, and she couldn't come to grips with that? That _all_ her senses were now alive, tingling and completely tuned into his very presence?

They ended up standing there, looking tensely at each other − hands still joined − when their awkward silence was suddenly disrupted with a collective laughter coming from a group of the astronomy students who stood in front of constellation chart next to Kain and Ruka. It was a distracting sound and Ruka unconsciously followed their conversation with her acute hearing while letting her eyes slide away from Kain.

"This Cygnus star did has a relation with Lyre," said a heavy male voice, giving an explanation. "But it had nothing to do with a duck playing a harp." Another set of collective chuckles followed his amused words. "Can anybody explain the particular connection between these two stars based on Greek mythology?"

"The swan is Orpheus and the Lyre is his musical instrument," said a female student tentatively.

"Yes, that's right!" the lecturer confirmed enthusiastically. "Twenty points for anybody who knows the story of Orpheus here. Anybody? Come on... he was quite famous − Yes, Kijima-kun, please explain us…"

"Orpheus was the son of the Muse Calliope and therefore a grand musician, while his wife was a dryad, Eurydice. One day she was being pursued by Aristaeus, who took interest on her. In her haste to escape from him, she accidentally stepped on a poisonous snake and was forced into the Underworld. Orpheus was determined to retrieve his beloved, so he courageously journeyed down to the underworld. Charming Charon − ferryman of the dead, lulling to sleep Cerberus − the three-headed watchdog, until he finally encountered Hades, who initially refused to release Eurydice. But since Orpheus's music touched Persephone so much, she pleaded with Hades for Orpheus's case, and Hades relented. There was one condition though - that Orpheus must not to look back on their way out. Of course, Orpheus was worried that Eurydice was not behind him, and he fatefully glanced back to see if she was following him. She disappeared back into Hades, and he lost her forever. Unable to live without her, Orpheus spent the rest of his days wandering in aimless sorrow before Maenads, the drunken followers of Dionysus finally murdered him. After his death the gods transformed him to Cygnus and placed him near his Lyre, in the sky."

"Well, that was so tragic, don't you think, Kijima-kun?" the lecturer concluded for him.

"I prefer to look at the romantic side, Sensei," the student named Kijima replied humorously.

The other students chuckled and sneered at the comments and one female student said, "Yeah, I would kill to have a man like that for myself."

"I'm afraid that's a very rare specimen, this Orpheus, Hiwatari-san…" the lecturer replied with a smile in his voice. "For males these days are simply pigs, including myself…" he produce a boyish smirk and a boom of laughter followed his sense of humour this time. It caused Ruka to glance at him and her gaze collided with a pair of green, smart looking eyes behind horn-rimmed glasses. She turned away again as the man continued. "…but should you some day encounter a man like this devoted Orpheus − a man who dared to face Death and readily does almost everything for his beloved − you should consider yourself lucky, being blessed by the Gods. Okay then, twenty points for Kijima-kun, and we moved to the next chart of…"

Ruka was standing rooting to her spot, even as the group moved away. The last few wise sentences of the lecturer continued to echo in her mind. "Lucky, huh?" she muttered softly to herself.

Slowly, Ruka's gaze travelled back to the pair of deep chocolate eyes, whose owner was apparently still waiting for her answer, and she smiled despite of her circumstances. She didn't know if Kain loved her or not, the way Orpheus loved Eurydice − and it didn't matter anyway. But the fact that he was willing to do anything and everything she wished should be more than enough for her. She honestly couldn't ask for more luck, could she?

And Kain had often fulfilled not just one, but many of her wishes excellently. It was just unfair if she kept taking his honest efforts for granted. True, she found it strange to see him acting like her lover this time. But she should be happy that Kain had done a magnificent job pretending to be what she requested. This was what she needed, right? Kain had done nothing wrong. He even reminded her, that this was the cost of her plan. If Kain could give his best, at the very least, she should also set her mind to give a proper and convincing attitude with this play of hers. See if she could best him at his game or not…

Ruka took a deep, fortifying breath. "No, Akatsuki. It is I who made myself uncomfortable. Not you." She shook her head gently. "I'm sorry for making you worry. I think you're right, I don't have much interest here. Could we go outside instead?" she offered Kain a warm smile.

Kain looked as if he was taken by surprise for a while, and he gave Ruka a curious long gaze. But then he began to return her smile and Ruka could almost taste the conspicuous relief flooding out of him as the tense set of his broad shoulders relaxed. "I thought you'd never ask…" he said softly as he got a firmer hold over her fingers, entwined with his. "Let's get out of here, shall we?"

--


	8. Picture 'Im'Perfect

**Author notes:** Thanks for YenGirl who beta this chapter (Sorry, I hope you won't go bald by tearing your hair out --wink--)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vampire Knight… but I'll be grateful if I can have the tankoubon in my country's language…

* * *

_Gazing longingly at your back image,_

_I choose to sate my heart with false liberty,_

_rather than stay a prisoner_

_of your beautiful eyes_

_that would never look back at me._

**Chapter 8. Picture (Im)Perfect**

It was weird how once you are determined to accept something and not resist it, things would start to flow more easily than before. Or at least, that was what Ruka experienced. She started to feel more relaxed the moment she made up her mind to just focus on and enjoy Kain's wonderful companionship.

Kain took her out of the Planetarium, towards the expanse of common square across the road as soon as she insisted that she would love to go to any place he picked. He parked the borrowed Souen's family car at the public parking lot before leading her to the park.

It was actually a pretty evening, and it made a perfect occasion for an outdoor activity since the sun had set and the square was now gloriously lit by various glowing light bulbs scattered amongst the tree branches overhead.

Ruka followed Kain as they leisurely walked together, hands linked and obviously in no hurry. The square itself was bustling with pedestrians - families and couples who were also taking advantage of the good weather. Ruka noted though after a few minutes of walking, that the people here also behaved in the same way the astronomy students did at the Planetarium. That is, observing them with a good deal of interest. And whenever she and Kain came across a group of teenagers or young girls, they were stared at directly. The teenagers also had a different look in their eyes when they studied both Kain and Ruka. It wasn't just ordinary admiration, Ruka could tell. It was different from the usual admiration with which the Day Class students usually looked at them.

Kain persisted that they seemed to be the same but Ruka knew better. Because now she knew what the difference was.

_Envy._

They were looking at her with envy in their eyes. Envy at _her_ for having him – Kain Akatsuki – because the onlookers thought that they were a couple. She couldn't blame them in any case. Kain was just too stunningly gorgeous with his handsome countenance and above average body height that distinctly set him apart from any male mortals.

Again, a group of female teenagers came across Kain and Ruka, giggling and whispering to each other after their initial fleeting glance at Kain. As they walked passed Ruka, she caught their low murmurs to each other.

_Perfect match, aren't they?_

_He is so cool!_

…_If only I were her…_

Ruka snorted amusedly. If only they knew that the girl they envied was one who didn't desire him at all… Life indeed was full of irony.

They finally reached the center of the park that was filled with even more people. There was some sort of festival there, since a low wooden stage had been built right in the clearing. As she walked by, Ruka read the big banner strung across the stage background, on which was printed "Live Music and Inspiration Night". The whole stage was lit up by a set of big and bright stage lights. People were coming from all around the park to gather, sit on the grass and watch the show.

"Do you mind if we stay here?" Kain asked Ruka when he saw his date's eyes locked onto the stage.

Ruka nodded in agreement. "It's fine. I like music shows," she said simply.

Kain smiled at her answer. It was something that he already knew. "Yeah, I figured you would like this."

Ruka halted and eyed Kain suspiciously. "You… originally wanted to take me here, did you? Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?"

Kain stopped as well, shrugging nonchalantly. "Well, you know why, I've told you."

"But it didn't work."

Kain chuckled at the obvious. "I didn't know that you were so bad in making such an easy selection," he teased Ruka heartily, ignoring her heavy scowl, before started to pull her to search for a suitable place to sit. He found an empty wooden bench below a huge, shady tree about two hundred yards away from the stage. The spot was perfect both in terms of visibility of the stage and its distance to avoid the blaring sound of the big loudspeakers. Besides, they could hear the music very well already, thank you, loud speakers would only bestow deafness for the next few hours for them. Fortuitously, half of the small yellow lamps that were supposed to light up the same tree had been broken too, making the bench half hidden in the shadows and providing them with additional privacy.

"Did you also know when the show would start?" Ruka asked Kain again as she sat down on a handkerchief Kain had spread on the surface of the bench for her.

Kain took it as a good sign that Ruka didn't protest at all about how she would ruin his clean handkerchief. And he was strangely pleased that Ruka let him treat her this way.

"I knew about this event yesterday, when I went to buy my dinner jacket." He answered her question as he lowered himself onto her left side. "This show started at five o'clock."

"Five?" Ruka's eyes rounded in realization. "Oh, that's why you woke me up so early. Oh Akatsuki, you really should've told me from the start, you know! Now I feel like I've spoiled all your hard work." It made her feel bad. She realized belatedly that Kain must have painstakingly planned this evening for both of them. It was just unfair for him to have to go through all this trouble for her and receive her bad response earlier.

Kain watched the many different kinds of emotions playing on Ruka's face as he tried to read her mind. He didn't give her his answer straight away, a little afraid that he might say something wrong and cause Ruka to shrink back into her previous mood.

"Hey, don't take it too seriously. It's nothing big…" he put up a convincing smile. "This is not the only place I thought of when I thought of our next step." It actually took a lot of effort for Kain when he thought of possible and suitable destinations for them, but of course Ruka didn't need to know that. Actually, Kain had never once in his life gone on a date, let alone experience choosing appropriate places for dating. Especially when the one he was going to date was his best friend. This was his first time and it honestly made him… nervous.

Kain had already prepared approximately five tentative places to visit but upon seeing Ruka's prior gloomy mood when they left the house earlier, he'd lost confidence and canceled his plans. He wanted… so much… for Ruka just to enjoy herself.

"Really, it's enough for me that you like this place, Ruka. So, just relax, okay?" Kain finally conceded softly when he caught her still looking at him interminably, brows knitted together.

Ruka looked like she was on the verge of saying something, but then she just deferred and nodded briefly, complying to his suggestion. "Nice spot," she said after a while as she lifted her gaze up to the dim lights above their heads, appreciating the semi-darkness advantage they gave. Too much light was never a comfortable thing for a vampire's sensitive sight.

"Yeah" Kain answered in agreement as he shifted himself and draped his right arm across the back of the bench, his palm resting lightly on her right shoulder.

Ruka felt Kain's hand touching her, but this time she didn't feel herself involuntarily resisting. Instead, she found that she was actually... enjoying… Kain's tender gesture. Her blood coursed a little faster at first though, but that was all.

The two of them then continued to sit there for an hour in a comfortable silence. Ruka only expressed one or two comments while listening to the stage music performance while Kain also didn't feel it necessary to keep up a flow of unending speech. It was something Ruka appreciated about him.

The live music presented by the stage artist was mostly ballads and jazz, served in unplugged technique. The performance was so excellent that it put Ruka completely at ease. The pleasant music and Kain's calming presence slowly weaved their magic over her because she didn't bother to think much when she allowed herself to lean casually against Kain, her head resting on his broad shoulder. Kain responded by pulling her even closer and more possessively, surrounding her with his ever warm and familiar scent.

Almost too soon the music show reached a break time and an MJ pronounced that before the second session began, they would hold an oral literature game which he referred to as an inspiration session. He also informed that it would sneakily involve some of the audience and consequently, all who were present were now being asked to prepare themselves.

"What does he mean by oral literature game? Does he mean like our Classic Literature class?" Kain frowned in confusion. He'd never heard of what the MJ had informed the audience before.

Ruka branded him an amused peek. "Well, our lit class mostly contains classic works, but literature in general are mostly essays, prose, drama…"

"Drama!?" Kain perked up. "He must've lost it! And he said that he will pick randomly?"

Kain face was a study in utter apprehension and it elicited a melodious laughter from Ruka. She removed her head from Kain's shoulder. "You don't have to be so shocked. There are also shorter forms of literature available, like poetry, folktales and even jokes…"

"I think… we should go." Kain exhaled and started to detach himself from Ruka, half rising from his seat.

"No, wait." Ruka promptly fastened her fingers on Kain's arm and hauled him back to sit on the bench again. "I want to see this" she said firmly.

Kain opened his mouth, but Ruka was faster and she interrupted his predictable disapproval. "Please?" she wheedled innocently. "Oh, come on, Wild, you can't be that afraid he might randomly pick you or me?" she purposefully added a mocking tone to her question, entertained over the fact that Kain, even though excelled in many school subjects, had a weakness in classic literature class.

Kain didn't answer Ruka's taunt. He didn't have to, actually, since he knew Ruka must have known about his aversion towards the Classic Literature subject. He grunted to himself and turned to look away from her, a deep frown clinging resolutely between his brows.

Ruka stifled a laugh. She didn't know that Kain could pout the way she saw Aidou often did. But she had to admit Kain was very cute when he did it.

The free oral literature game slowly turned out to be some sort of poetry and quote competition, since not many of the audience had decent enough knowledge over other forms of oral literature. After the first opening folk story was told by a female singer, one person after another from the audience was chosen to contribute. The rule was that any person who stood on the stage had the right to choose the next person to replace him or her. Or, if that person were too confused to choose, he or she would be given a ball to throw and whoever caught the ball had to go on stage next.

In a few minutes' time, poems, quotes and jokes filled the cool and crisp night air. Some of them were very good and touching. Most of them were popular love centered pieces though.

"That's ridiculous," Ruka fondly said after hearing a line of quote. She slowly shook her head. "A kiss couldn't be a tool for silencing someone, really. I mean, "a lovely trick by nature'? What _is_ that?"

"But hey, you wouldn't know until you've tried," Kain said wickedly to her with his eyes still planted on the stage to avoid her glare.

The next participant was a nervous young man who stammered and incited a collective laughter from the audience as well as Ruka when he introduced himself prior to starting his sentence. Again, it was about a love quote. "Love is like an− an− hourglass..." he kept stammering as his voice died out, trying hard to remember the rest of the quote.

"With the heart filling up as the brain empties. Come on... "

Ruka's head swung abruptly to Kain's direction, hearing the aristocrat whispering to himself. Her eyes widened slightly. "What did you just say?" Did she just hear what she thought she heard?

Kain looked up at her blankly. "Um…come on?"

"No, before that! Weren't you just− just… finishing his quote?"

Kain ran a hand around the back of his neck, looking rather discomfited at his involuntary rejoinder as he listened to the nervous boy's quote just now. "Yeah, um... read that somewhere… in Lit class, I suppose…" he trailed off uncertainly.

Ruka was half pondering at the sentence. "Heart filling up as the brain empties…" she repeated to herself. "That's beautiful. Really, Akatsuki, that's amazing seeing as how you never pay attention to the teacher like the rest of us do… I thought that you hate Lit class!"

"I do. Only not as bad as you hating our Science class!" Kain replied calmly.

Ruka landed her small fist on Kain's chest, pretending to be mad. "You…!"

"Ouch! Stop it!" he caught Ruka's wrist with his left hand while his eyes flicked towards the stage again, trying to distract her. "Come on Ruka, you should pay attention to them or you'll miss what's going on."

Ruka charged Kain with a you-better-watch-out look before shifting her attention back to the stage. It was being occupied by a sweet looking young girl standing alone in front of the microphone.

"Love is not blind." she said. Her voice was high and clear. "It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less," she ended her sentence, attaching the name of the source she quoted from.

"Is that so?" Ruka mumbled softly, contemplating the line. Her soft, unfocused dark eyes stared at a spot far beyond the stage, lost in the jungle of her thoughts. "But love certainly can be blind sometimes," she followed absentmindedly.

Kain was apt to realize that Ruka was suddenly thinking and speaking about her past. "Well… but if you feel that you couldn't see anything when loving someone," Kain started to reply in a very soft voice, and Ruka turned to meet his knowing, gentle gaze. "Then it's not the real love. You will be likely to trip, fall, and hurt yourself as you blindly go after the one you thought you love, because you're unable to watch your own step. And how can one person love another, if they do not see them for who they really are? Loving is understanding."

Ruka had to tear her eyes off him. Kain's intense orbs were too disturbing. She chuckled mirthlessly. "Who are you to speak..."

"Ruka, it's not... what the −!" Kain's sentence was cut off as his left hand suddenly moved so fast it blurred.

Ruka's eyes went wide with surprise watching Kain's fingers splayed in front of her face for a split second to seize something white and round and aimed at her nose. She could barely see clearly what Kain had in his hand as he sprung to his feet, face livid as he tried to search for the stupid pitcher who had, in his opinion, asked for death. "Who'd dared...!"

"No! Akatsuki, stop!" Ruka was quick to grab his wrist. Kain turned to see her giving her best to swallow a chuckle at the same time. Kain whipped her a dirty look. He didn't understand what was so funny about a baseball that would have certainly hit her clean in the nose if his vampire reflex had slacked off at the exact moment.

"That's _the ball_, you know... " she enunciated 'the-ball' words.

It took two full seconds for Kain to comprehend what Ruka was hinting at. "Oh... Please tell me this is a joke!" he groaned, sporting a weary, accusing look at the innocent ball in his palm. Whichever participant that had thrown the ball had an insane amount of power and accuracy.

"Unfortunately…not. You blocked the ball for me so naturally it becomes your... right... to contribute. Look, they're waiting for you," Ruka answered wickedly. She waved at the stage where the MJ was beckoning Kain to come up.

Kain glowered at the MJ. "No way in hell am I going to go up there," he said to Ruka with finality in his voice before throwing the ball as far as he could, back to the cluster of audience that had assembled near the stage. It was intercepted with a boisterous cheer.

"Aw… that's too bad." Ruka was totally disenchanted while Kain only shrugged as he resumed his position on the bench.

They sat for another good three hours until almost midnight listening to the music before Kain suggested them to leave since it was naturally their lunchtime. Ruka let Kain decide for them where to eat and he took Ruka to an open air French food restaurant located at the riverside front that offered an excellent view as well as food. It was one of the few restaurants near the common square area that was still open at this late hour.

Ruka wasn't as familiar as Kain was with French cuisine. Luckily they were assisted by a very helpful _Chef d'étage_. Following his suggestion, Ruka ordered _coq au vin_, a typical French cuisine of rooster cooked with wine, lardons and mushrooms, all with no garlic while Kain selected _Boeuf Bourguignon_, beef that was also stewed in red wine.

"Don't say that you also found this place while you were searching for your dinner jacket too, yesterday," Ruka said as the _Chef d'étage_ went off with their orders and a wine waiter started doing his duty, filling both Kain and Ruka's crystal glasses with liqueur.

"That was the only time I ever gone out, wasn't it?" Kain was surveying the restaurant's beautiful surroundings contentedly. He had requested to have a table with a direct view of the river and the happy-to-service-you _Maître d'hotel_ who greeted them at the door promptly guided them to the best table available.

"Good selection." Ruka remarked while fondly looking at some floating lanterns placed to decorate the water's surface just below the wooden platform on where they currently seated.

"Don't judge too fast yet, we haven't eaten the food."

Ruka changed her attention to the half-filled dining room. The restaurant must be quite famous to have such a decent amount of guests at this late hour. And it was also new too, because Ruka had never been there before. "So, do you think that they will notice us?" Ruka asked Kain as she furtively examined the guests one by one.

"I hope so."

"I just wish there was a way to stop all this silly match making tradition," Ruka said again after a while she closed her eyes tiredly. "I'm giving you a hard time."

Kain shook his head. "I don't mind, Ruka" he answered firmly. He really meant it and he had also given it a lot of thought last night as he planned for their date. He only had two choices earlier, either to accept or to decline. He had chosen to accept. Nobody had forced him to do it. It was a clean decision. His decision. So he might as well make sure that he wasn't doing it half-heartedly.

"Besides, it's a little late already to regret this, don't you think so? But I keep thinking about− the upcoming engagement though," Kain almost used the word 'our engagement' but stopped himself in time realizing how strange it would sound for both of them. "What do you intend to do about it?"

Ruka shrugged. "I think I'll have to use some reason to delay it. At least until the holiday is over and we're back at the Academy."

So basically, Kain would have one whole month to enjoy himself playing the part of Ruka's lover.

_Great. Just great._

Kain sent a vacant look towards the black water rippling gently not far from his feet. He didn't know if he should be happy about this or not. Before knowing Ruka's designation for him, he had been literally thrown off balance being informed that Ruka would be engaged. He couldn't sort out his feelings well at that time and just kept feeling confused about why he'd felt so… so upset. And now… well, now he still wasn't far-off from what he'd felt at the party yesterday.

The funny thing was, he had a crazy thought before, of wanting to see if there was a chance somehow, for him to do something about his friendship with Ruka. But now when Fate had fulfilled his wish, he didn't feel so sure that he wanted all this anymore. What for? Ruka clearly _didn't_ wish for the same thing.

Kain sighed. What had he gotten himself into?

"Ruka…" Kain took his eyes back to Ruka who also broodingly staring at the water, her wine glass at her lips. She caught his eyes.

"Why did you choose me?"

Ruka almost choked on the wine she was sipping. She put down her glass on the table carefully. "Wh− what do you mean, Akatsuki?"

"I know that I'm not the only one who can do this kind of task," Kain said confidently. "So, why didn't you ask the others? I want to know your reason."

Ruka bit her lower lip. This was a hard and unexpected question. Apparently, Kain was the first choice she'd ever come up with and even though Aidou didn't offer his cousin's name, Ruka knew she would still choose Kain. If not him, who else could she ask for help? Hanabusa? Or maybe Ichijo? Yeah right, she could just imagine the _joy_ her father would display if she picked Ichijo to play the part for her, just exactly when he tried to get her off Kaname.

Kain simply was the best option she ever had. She knew that he would never turn her down for anything. It was just the nature of their relationship that she decided to use well. This was why she couldn't answer Kain's question easily. Because the truth was – she was using him – if she looked deeper, past what Kain had said to her, that he didn't mind at all. She was buying herself a way out, but at _his_ cost.

Kain could see that Ruka was wearing that troubled, guilty expression again as she mulled over his question. But finally, she opened her lips to give an answer that Kain had already known she would say. "Because we're friends," she said quietly.

There it was. His unneeded confirmation. Despite having predicted and prepared himself for that kind of answer, he still felt somehow disappointed at hearing the actual words come out from her lips. He really shouldn't bring up this kind of subject in the first place, and he should just drop the subject now. But the next thing Kain knew, he was asking another question. "But so are the others."

Ruka watch Kain wordlessly for a while, her fingers absently playing with the white napkin, which was still folded neatly on the table. "You're not the same as the others - you're different," she finally said with a reluctant note colouring her soft voice.

Kain's eyes widened slightly. He had never thought of himself being _different_ from the rest of their friends. He swallowed anxiously. The word different might have several meanings and Kain didn't know which one Ruka meant. Was it different as in his attitude? Or different in the way he treated her all this time? Or maybe... Different because he was _special_?

_Yeah, Akatsuki, you're such a genius. Hell would be more likely to freeze before that would ever happen_.

Kain cursed himself under his breath. "Different? How?"

"I don't know..." Ruka shook her head slowly, hesitant.

"Oh, come on, don't give me that. You just said I'm different," Kain made a face.

"It's... just − " she stopped, carefully deciding her words. "I don't know how you do it, but... you − you always seem to understand me more than the others do. And not just that, you're also so easy to be with, you always make me feel com− fortable..." Her voice died off. Kain's deep chocolate eyes were forming a deadlock with her own as she spoke. Ruka felt her face heat up, whether it was because of Kain or the wine she was drinking, she couldn't tell from sure. But she knew without having to take a glance at any mirror that color must have blossomed on her cheeks.

Ruka found that she couldn't easily look away from the trace of warmth in Kain's eyes on her just now. And that made her wished that she could read his mind, because she obviously wanted to know what he was thinking for bestowing on her that kind of absorbed look while hearing her confession-like words to him. Too bad Kain's face gave nothing away.

_A Commis de suite_ was approaching their table now, bringing both the aristocrats' orders and Ruka had to tear her gaze − with much difficulty − away from Kain's silent, watchful eyes.

They started to eat in silence for a few minutes − each lost in their own thoughts. Ruka was boring her china with her determined look, but still, she could feel Kain watching her as he ate and it gradually bothered her.

She put down her fork, scowling. "What's wrong? If you want to say something, you should just say it." Kain clearly had something on his mind, but he wouldn't spill it out.

"Nothing."

Ruka shot Kain a lengthening, prodding look, but then relented and resumed eating her food as Kain shifted his attention to the water again. Ruka grunted inwardly. And people said that _she_ was stubborn…

"Thank you, Ruka."

Her fork hovered in the air. "Huh?"

Thank you for _what_? For letting him imitating a clam?

Kain shrugged nonchalantly. "For telling me all that. I never expected… " he cleared his throat. "… for you to see me that way."

Kain once again sounded like when he'd offered her the rose this morning, a little shy and unsure. Ruka had never found him insecure like this before and it suddenly struck at her how little she knew about Kain being compared to how well he knew her. She wondered if she would ever learn much about him, though, since Kain was always a calm and reserved character and kept his feelings to himself.

Ruka grimaced. Her thoughts regarding Kain's personality somehow reminded her of Kaname. Back then she always thought the same way about the pureblood too. The only difference between him and Kain was, that no matter how hard she tried, she would never completely understand Kaname. While Kain on the other hand, would certainly be easier to understand.

Ruka gave Kain her half smile. "Yeah, I do think about you like that. You asked for the truth, and I gave it to you. I think it's my good luck to have you as my friend."

"Is that so?" Kain replied with the lightest of sounds as he once again flung his view far past the dark scenery.

It was almost dawn when they returned, and by then Ruka was thoroughly relaxed and enjoying her date with Kain to the point she almost felt sorry that it seemed to end so quickly. She almost didn't need to play a part anymore and just followed suit on each of Kain's moves.

They were greeted by Saeko who opened the front door. "Welcome back, Ruka-sama, Akatsuki-sama. How was your day?" the old Head servant asked both aristocrats with a plain tone, which Kain took as her habitual, out of respect tone.

Ruka gave Saeko her best happy smile. "It's great, Saeko-san. Thank you for waiting us to come back."

"Anytime, Ruka-sama."

"Very well. I'm pretty tired, so I shall head to my room now. Good night, Saeko-san." Ruka started to walk away.

"Wait, I'll walk you." Kain quickly followed her, his left hand finding its place at Ruka's waist.

Ruka waited until Saeko-was out of their earshot before she flung an amused glance past her left shoulder. "Do you know that she intends to spy on us?" she asked Kain. "She was curious."

Kain sent Ruka a crooked smile. "Of course. That's why I volunteered to walk you up."

"Oh, is that your reason? Well, we are out of her sight already, if you're not aware... So, you can stop playing." Ruka threw Kain a half teasing, half taunting look.

Kain didn't buy that. "Just in case," he answered smoothly. He knew that Ruka had loosened up enough that she wouldn't raise any objections for him touching her, when it wasn't pretty much necessary with no people around them to fool.

"You start to remind me of Hanabusa by now," Ruka sneered as she kept teasing Kain. "Cousins will always be cousins, it seems."

"Not really."

"Oh, are you sure?"

"If I were Hanabusa, I would've done something outrageous by now," Kain replied convincingly.

"Ha! But you did." They were reaching Ruka's bedroom door and Ruka leaned casually against the door frame, she didn't want to part with Kain so quickly and made him the winner of their little playful banter.

"Like what?" Kain stood facing Ruka. He withdrew his hand and tucked it inside his pants' pocket.

Ruka's eyes narrowed. "Like inserting your hand inside my blouse when we danced at the café? Did you forget that already?"

Well, of course Kain recalled doing that. It was purely by chance that he'd heard the gardener chatting with one of the maids this morning when he passed by, about a café that was being popular among the vampires and also owned by a noble vampire too. So, he considered that it was a good idea for him and Ruka to visit the café after their lunch.

Finding that the café also served some music and had a small dance floor, Kain suggested for them to dance once, out of necessity to put up a show in case they were being watched. Ruka agreed and that was when Kain grabbed the chance to slide his palm beneath her blouse as they danced, placing his palm against her waist and tentatively caressing the warm, soft and smooth skin under his fingers. He was instantly rewarded with a sharp hissing sound and deadly glare, both issuing from Ruka for his act, and Kain grudgingly withdrew his hand.

To be honest, he just couldn't stop himself from touching her more intimately. Partly because of the awareness of many people watching them and also because of the tempting, irresistible sensations of Ruka's body so close to his own. It was almost shameful that his usual iron self control just so easily melted away because of her.

Kain smiled apologetically, but was still in bright mood as he playfully trying to imitate his cousin style of answer, imagining if the blond-haired vampire happened to found himself inside this kind of conversation. "That's not outrageous, I tell you, My Lady. I was just putting up a show for them and you know it too."

Ruka shook her head incredulously, half laughing. "If that's not considered outrageous for you, what would be an outrageous one then?" her eyes were gleaming tauntingly as she looked up at Kain.

Kain didn't know what drove him to do it, but he suddenly bent his face closer to Ruka, eyes still locked with hers. He froze only an inch away from her, taking in the shock and comprehension reflected in her huge brown eyes. He knew that she was fully aware of what he was about to do to her and he fully expected that she would soon pull herself away. But then Ruka's eyes dropped half closed as she stood very still and it was Kain's turn to be shocked.

Kain groaned inwardly. _Damn this girl_! Why must he always be offered the green light by her? He expected Ruka to pull away, _not_ give him her assent! It would be much easier for him if she just backed-up and exploded on him, accusing him of a little joke gone too far.

This situation was exactly like the moment when Kain was about to put himself away from her yesterday. At that exact moment, Ruka had tilted her head and he totally lost it. And now once again, he was torn between two options. His logic told him that he should pull away, while his heart wanted so much to proceed.

Kain started to move with exquisite slowness, closing the gap between their lips. His eyes searched Ruka's again, seeing only absolute approval in their soft depths.

He was very, _very_ close to her lips, when a stray question abruptly coursed through his mind.

Is _this_ what she really wanted?

Kain froze completely. He didn't dare to move or breath. There was only one thing inside his mind now. And it was what Ruka had said earlier.

_Because we're friends. _

_Friends._

Friends didn't kiss each other on the lips. He couldn't kiss her because she'd wanted them to just be friends. It would be something wrong. And Kain knew that Ruka didn't really want him to. Her approval was just an outcome of their shared good mood now.

Kain gritted his teeth and forced himself to shift a little to Ruka's right side, then brushed a soft peck on her cheek instead. He had to do that, not for himself, but for Ruka. To protect her pride. She had allowed him, anyway, and he didn't take. He was worried it would hurt her pride.

"Like… that," Kain said with an indiscernible shaky voice. He backed away and turned on his heel. "Goodnight Ruka," he said again as he a little hurriedly descended the stairs.

Ruka groped for the handle blindly and opened the door of her bedroom. She was numb and confused, and her mind wouldn't cooperate as she tried to think. For all she knew, Kain had almost kissed her, before he stopped at the last moment, and kissed her on the cheek instead. What happened? Why did he stop?

It was just weird. Kain had been so willing, and totally in a good mood when he bent over her, and she'd figured out that he just wanted to mock her so she let him. But then humor quickly vanished from his eyes, and Ruka realized that he was about to kiss her for real until he moved aside. Was that part of his mockery too?

Still feeling confused and off-balance, Ruka entered her room and closed the door gently behind her. She absently let her gaze circle her empty room, hoping she could distract herself from all the unanswered question hanging inside her fuzzy mind when something finally caught at her attention.

Ruka closed her eyes tightly and leaned her head back against the door, a soft whimper escaped her lips. How could she be so stupid?

There, on top of her bedside table, shyly sat a beautiful, single light-yellow rose that Kain had given her this morning.

It was the simple answer to all her questions.

--

**End Notes:** This is my confession. I have never eaten on a French Restaurant before! --shame-- All the terms of French cuisine and the dining room brigade used here were taken out from Wikipedia. So, if you have a comment, question or flame, just shoot, OK? I don't mind :)


	9. Spiral Path

**Author notes:** Thank you so much for YenGirl in giving me support for certain parts of this chapter, since I'm not very sure about it. You really enlighten me up, Yen!

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight is not mine...

* * *

_Please don't show_

_what you don't mean to give_

_And never take_

_what you don't mean to keep_

_Because for me_

_there would be no turning back_

_while my heart_

_would be too late to be saved_

**Chapter 9. Spiral Path**

Kain was practically running down the stairs, jumping two steps at a time once he was out of Ruka's sight. His heart was beating wildly against his ribcage, making him slightly breathless and he did that deliberately, to steer his mind away from Ruka. He even forced himself to count his steps to gain some focus before he finally stopped at the second floor landing to draw in a lungful of air.

This was unreal.

This wasn't really happening.

He had been offered a priceless opportunity that might not come twice in his life - the one he never thought he would ever have. And yet… he had declined. Not because he wanted to, by the way, but because he _had _to. He also wasn't going to regret it now, knowing that he had made the right choice. But he just couldn't help wondering how Ruka would taste like if he hadn't taken her feelings into account and just straight away pounced on her.

Dammit! His head must have had hit the towel bar way too hard yesterday. What other reason was there? There was no other possible explanation for his severe, screwed up mind − the one responsible for pulling that kind of studied philandering on Ruka.

Or maybe Ruka was right. He had been corrupted by Aidou. Where else could he have learned something like that, if not from the playboy vampire? So not only had his cousin donated him a bad name, he had also generously shared with Kain one of his embarrassing, bad traits as well. Perfect!

A light footstep on the stair behind him broke Kain's contemplation and he stilled on the spot, knowing already who had came after him from the scent that hung in the air. "Yes, Ryuji-san?" Kain asked tonelessly without turning to face the other person. He was very sure that this wasn't a coincidence that this particular brother of Ruka just happened to be here, behind his back.

"Hmm, kind of upset tonight?" Ryuji stepped down from the third floor, his movements graceful and unhurried. He wore an icy smile on his perfect, sculptured lips as he stepped into Kain's view range, eyes keenly scanning the younger vampire's uptight and slightly breathless state. "Things didn't quite go your way?" he asked with a deceptively soft voice, enjoying Kain's trepidation. He knew that the boy disliked his presence, and didn't even have to put it verbally since his body language was already telling Ryuji almost everything.

Kain welcomed Ryuji's demeaning look and held it firmly. He didn't bite the lure that the other vampire cast. It was apparent now from the way he talked that it was currently not a coincidence he was there, on Kain's tail. The dark haired aristocrat must have started his surveillance activities on both Kain and Ruka the moment they got home. He dared to bet that Ryuji had also followed them and watched the whole scene of their light hearted teasing in front of Ruka's bedroom door.

Kain exhaled slowly, suddenly feeling very relieved and satisfied with himself that he had deferred kissing Ruka. Not because he had been afraid that Ryuji might charge at him the very moment he touched her lips with his, but because he despised the idea of him making Ruka looked... promiscuous... if he kissed her there, in the corridor. He had also decided earlier to avoid any fight with Ryuji, since it was meaningless to him and he still recalled how disappointed and distressed Ruka seemed to be upon finding him fighting with her brother the other day.

It seemed that Ryuji, however, didn't have the same opinion since he was now openly trying to pick at Kain's temper, with some provocative words. The younger vampire wanted to smirk despite his circumstances. Well, the noble could certainly try to his heart's content, Kain would be very glad to serve his curiosity, if only to see whether Ryuji could make him blow a fuse or not.

So Kain returned the other's smile modestly. "Ah, you know how life is. Sometimes it loves to have fun on us. So, I'll be very thankful if you would simply tell me what business you would like to have with me, because if not, I'm ready to call it a day."

"Oh, I'm sure you're ready. After all, you've been out with my sister from sunset to sunrise," he walked a few steps around, flashing his white perfect teeth as he resumed his sentence. "…visiting the park, having lunch, hanging out at the cafe..."

Kain tensed very slightly at his words, surprised. It was something unpredicted that Ryuji would actually have some of his men on the lookout today, just because Ruka was going out with Kain. Was Ryuji really that obsessed to catch an improper act from him? Maybe that was the very reason why he was suddenly confronting Kain now. Because his men had obviously reported back to him that they had witnessed Kain doing a… dirty dance… with his sister.

Kain kept his face expressionless and both his hands inside his pockets. "I'm sorry, but I don't catch the purpose of you telling me things that I already know?"

Ryuji's smile faded as he whipped Kain a dark look. His initial wry, mocking expression disappeared so fast, it was as if it had never been there in the first place, while his angry aura started to swirl in a sinister fashion around Kain. "Oh, I know that you understand me perfectly. No matter what my grandmother had told you, I got both of you and Ruka under my supervision," he hissed through his teeth.

"Spying on your own sister is not a healthy habit, you know. People will start to think that you're sick or obsessed." Kain replied in a flat tone. He was keeping himself very alert despite his hands still being kept inside his pockets and his stance was entirely relaxed. Ryuji tended to have a capricious manner, and Kain didn't want to take any chances.

"Do you think I give a damn what people think? I _will_ do _anything _to protect my sister, to get her out of harm's way!" Ryuji said heatedly as he glared into Kain's eyes, not bothering to mask his disdain over him this time.

"It's up to you if you don't believe me. But I know that I won't harm Ruka." Kain told him grimly. He knew though, that his words were useless. Ryuji had already etched him inside his mind as a risky business with regards his precious little sister. What could Kain say? After all, Ryuji had technically caught him violating Ruka barely the second day he stayed at their home.

"That's what _you_ think. But you know what? You will." Ryuji's expression gradually turned gloomy as he spoke. He looked as if he was partly immersed in another thought, as if he had been battling with himself whether or not to bring up a subject that he knew was very important as well as uncomfortable for him to reveal. "You will if you keep taking her outside of this house."

Kain watched Ryuji's initial exasperation ebb away to be replaced by slight worry. He joined his brows as his eyes drilled into Ryuji's. "What − is it? What do you mean that I'm endangering her by taking her out?"

Ryuji gave Kain a lengthening look. "You should use your head a little. I know that you took Ruka out to town to give people some impression that the two of you are serious with each other, because Ruka is currently afraid. She knows that for her to pick you out of the blue isn't something that would be easily accepted and believed by everyone. I know what she has on her mind. I can see that she's the one leading you and I can also see it is your nature to obey her…" he stopped here, letting his words hang in the air, as if waiting for Kain to deny his observation about the younger vampire. Kain, however, stayed silent - he didn't want to disrupt Ryuji's explanation over a trivial thing like that. And besides, what Ryuji had just surmised about him wasn't entirely wrong either.

Having nothing coming from Kain, Ryuji continued, "… but you should really stop heeding her particular wish involving public appearances, because it's dangerous. You will never know if there're people who don't like seeing the two of you together. "

Kain frowned. Who the hell Ryuji thought he was speaking to? Doesn't he know that as a noble born vampire, Kain wielded a special ability to protect as well as attack? It was true that even though he regularly used the power to protect himself, he was reluctant to use it against other people. And if he ever used it for attacking purpose, he always used it carefully as he was a little hesitant to hurt others let alone take their lives.

Maybe that's why Ruka had once called him lenient. But Kain knew, without fail, that if he ever found anyone with ill intent trying to put a hand on Ruka, he wouldn't even bat an eyelid to liquidate him, whoever that person was. He would protect Ruka with his life.

"Nothing will happen to Ruka as long as I'm beside her. You take me too lightly," Kain said sternly.

Ryuji shook his head slowly. His face impassive. "And I must say that you take them too lightly too. We are not as invincible as we always perceive ourselves. Follow my advice. You'd better stop that arrogant attitude before you regret it." Kain stared at Ryuji without blinking for a long time as he questioned his own hearing. But he heard it. He was almost certain that it was there. Something subtle inside Ryuji's deep voice as he uttered his line. And it was something... raw and bitter. He also didn't sound as sardonic as Kain would expect him to sound when speaking such words. Was it possible that something had happened to the blue eyed vampire in the past…?

No, Kain swiftly sobered up. It wasn't his concern at all whatever had possibly happened to Ryuji. Besides, there was also other likelihood that this was his other attempt at manipulation. Kain just felt that it was wiser not believe the dark haired vampire in front of him so quickly, so he persistently stood his ground. "I still believe I'm capable of protecting Ruka," he said quietly, observing Ryuji's stormy sapphire eyes.

"Up to you then," Ryuji sniffed irately as he turned gracefully down the stair. He felt stupid at initiating this kind of mundane conversation with Kain, thinking that the younger vampire would understand the risk he put on Ruka by taking her outside the safe haven of her home. He guessed he had no other choice then. If Kain wouldn't listen to him, then he would have to try other means of keeping his sister safe. Ryuji stopped at the fifth stair step, his expression hard as he glanced over his shoulder. "But you should know that I will still do whatever is necessary to protect her. And that includes getting rid of you if you keep becoming a threat to her safety," he threw Kain one last scorching look before resuming his steps and vanishing out of sight.

--

Ruka sat at her study desk inside her room, staring blankly at the books that were spread open on the table surface. Her right hand was holding a pencil that had remained stationary for the last twenty minutes.

She was really hopeless. She had been reading the same biology question for at least six times now and had not even registered a word of it, let alone understood how she must answer the question. The pages of her homework book were still empty, void of any sentence as she stared fixedly at her text book, trying to re-read the question again and feeling very much irritated at herself. She was getting nowhere if she kept this up.

But she just couldn't help it. From the moment she opened her eyes this evening, her mind had began to wander non-stop. And guess who was on her mind all this time? Right. Who else other than Kain? Her dear classmate, who had ruthlessly messed her head up last this morning and munificently left her in a bewildered state. He had also made it difficult for Ruka to fall asleep this morning, angry and upset at herself for her own stupidity.

Ruka jammed the heel of her left palm against her eyes, slightly frustrated as the by now familiar sensation of humiliation washed over her once again. She had let herself be carried away by Kain's relaxed attitude, enjoying how he could so easily infect her with his customary calming and soothing air that was always present whenever he was in a good mood. That, combined with his natural, flawless performance, had made Ruka totally forget that they were only pretending to be lovers. Unmindful that Kain was obviously just being playful as he responded to her teasing question with another goad and trying to directly apply his answer while she consciously lowered her guard at that moment.

That was what was making it worse for Ruka. Her giving in to Kain even though he didn't force himself on her – just like the first night when he had been angry and made her taste her own words in her very own room. He didn't have to bother and yet the outcome was still the same. She was still instantly undone by him.

Inexcusable. _Never_ in her life had Ruka disgraced herself so fast like that. She gave a small involuntary shiver at the thought of what her Grandmother would do if she ever found out about this.

It looked like she really need some sort of aid to keep the fact in her mind that Kain had offered her nothing other than friendship and support from the start. Despite never putting it verbally, he had flashed a clear sign about that. Like the yellow rose he gave her yesterday. There were almost fifty variants of roses, with various colours and hues available in her mother's garden, but he had chosen the yellow one. Ruka knew that a yellow rose symbolizes friendship. It was just that she was pretty dense and a little late in realising that on the moment she received the flower from him, because she was too busy guessing at his motive. No wonder her own failure had brought such an absurd expectation − even for only a fleeting moment − when Kain's his lips drew so close to hers that she could practically feel its warmth on her own.

Ruka could feel her cheeks flaming anew at the memory. It was dangerous, this game she'd been forcing both of them to play. Up until this morning, she hadn't noticed how risky it was. But after those unplanned events, she started to realize her strange, unconscious expectations back in those critical moments, and it honestly terrified her enough. She had tried to convince herself without success afterwards, that she was just playing along with Kain, since she could see the mischievous glint in his smoky brown eyes before it turned into something undecipherable upon her assent. It was obvious that she had deliberately bestowed upon him her sanction because she wanted Kain to proceed.

Why she had wanted it, Ruka couldn't quite find the exact reason. Was it just her curiosity? Or her damn impulsiveness? Ruka had never been kissed by anybody before, and she admitted that sometimes she wondered, curious of how it would feel. But she also knew that if it was pure curiosity that made her craved Kain's kiss, she shouldn't feel so crestfallen then, when Kain had stopped at the last moment and changed his mind, paying attention to her cheek instead. And most of all, she shouldn't feel so pointlessly upset after she finally realized the reason for it as silent expressed by the yellow rose she'd received from Kain.

She placed her head tiredly on top of her book. She had to be more careful from now on and keep remembering the fact that Kain was her friend. Period. She should act properly in front of him if she didn't wish to be a laughingstock, taking him so seriously when he was just following her design. Ruka was very disappointed with herself for easily forgetting this simple fact. "Stupid," she muttered softly to herself.

"I hope you're not talking about me."

Ruka jumped up in surprise. She gasped aloud while her right hand came up to clutch at the front of her shirt. "Akatsuki! You shocked me!" she swerved around and found Kain standing behind her, leaning casually on the balcony door. Shoes were absent from his feet, explaining why he could land without a sound on her balcony.

Kain entered the room and approached her, his eyes scanning the table. "Blank?" he peeked at Ruka's book.

Ruka folded her arms in front of her chest. "Don't just come and go as you like. This is not your room!" she sent Kain a scorching look. It was bad enough that she couldn't get him out of her head since she woke up – she definitely didn't need him to pop up in her room before she had finished sorting out her feelings. "What do you want?"

Kain held Ruka's gaze for a while. He could tell that the vampire beauty wasn't just being uncomfortable over his sudden appearance, but she was also highly irritated at him. Kain's heart plummeted. It must be because of yesterday's incident.

Great. So now he had to talk it out? But what should he say?

One thing for sure, he didn't want to serve Ruka with his apology. What for? It was awful, he knew it, but he just couldn't deny that he didn't feel sorry about last night. In addition, it was just a brush on her cheek. That was far better than if he had claimed her lips. No, he certainly _didn't_ feel sorry for a bit.

Should he explain and justify himself for his deed? But that would be a hell of a mess to try… He seriously couldn't say that he just playing around, could he? That would feel like an insult on her. It was redundant too since he supposed that Ruka herself was able to separate a real act from a forged one. Kain hadn't been playing around last night. He had entirely, absolutely, honestly wanted the kiss. Well… at least before he started to listen to what was _left_ of his coherent brain.

And what if she happened to ask him why he had been so impulsive one second and changed his mind the next? What if she said that she hated him for stealing a kiss from her even if it was just on her cheek? Kain dropped his shoulders despondently. He was starting to feel the weight of their circumstances. He would need a miracle to survive a whole month of this…fiasco.

Kain ran his left palm against the back of his neck, suddenly feeling unsure and tired of all this. "Don't you need some help on that?" he flicked his head at the untouched pages.

He was rewarded by Ruka's very suspicious stare. Her face said that she didn't buy the reason that he came down to her room only to offer some help on her homework.

Kain brushed past Ruka and draw a chair for himself next to hers. He extended his hand towards the textbook… and stopped short. Ruka had snatched the book out of his reach.

That made Kain tilt his face upwards in a questioning manner.

"No, I… don't need your help." Ruka breathed out solemnly. "I was just thinking that I want to read some books instead, so… do you mind leaving me alone...?"

Just as he thought. Kain's eyes moved to Ruka's fingers, which had turned white from gripping her textbook too hard. It betrayed her calm tone of voice. "It's okay if you don't want me to help you, but…we need to talk."

"Talk?" Ruka parroted, almost choked. She sounded as if Kain had commanded her to do a striptease dance for him. "About what?" she managed to continue.

Kain sighed. "About…" Their eyes met. An observant pair versus a frightened one. "…about your brother."

He just couldn't do it. At least not now. He wasn't used to forcing his will on others.

Kain ran a hand through his brown hair. He noted that a considerable amount of tension had now disappeared from Ruka's face, replaced by sheer relief and eventual curiosity. "Nii-san? What's wrong with him?"

"That's exactly my question. I don't know what's wrong with him."

"Don't say he attacked you again because he… uh…" _Because he saw you almost kissing me. _She almost said. Ruka's cheeks were flaming hot again as she lost her words.

"No, don't worry, he didn't attack me, he just…" Kain halted as he shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "Should I stand or would you sit? Because this position is killing my neck."

Kain was teasing her using her past line when she first tried to speak with him. Ruka pressed her lips together and scowled slightly as she dropped down beside him.

"Ryuji-san just requested me not to take you outside anymore."

"He said that?" Ruka's eyes widened.

"Yeah. And maybe I'm just mistaken, but…" Kain hesitated a little. "I think he looked − off. Or… something, bitter maybe − I don't know how to explain it − when he asked me."

"Oh, Nii-san…" Ruka closed her eyes for moment.

Kain was alarmed at once. "Ruka?"

Ruka opened her eyes and shook her head. "So after all these years, he still blames himself for what happened."

"Blames himself…?"

"Yes. Shigeru-nii-san was the one who told me about this since it happened almost ten years ago, during Ryuji-nii-san's turn to do this stupid courting tradition. At that time, out of hundreds of females short listed, he found that no one that really met his taste." Ruka shook her head a little, amused over the fact that she had such a picky brother. But she supposed that this was nothing out of ordinary, since Ryuji was already used to having so many girls take an interest in him, that he felt he could be particular in picking out one that conformed to his liking.

Ruka continued. "He stayed neutral for about three weeks before giving in to my father's demand to pick someone. So with great indisposition he simply chose the most beautiful girl that suited his taste, that happened to fall on a girl with a remarkable attitude and brain to match her flawless, beautiful appearance…" Ruka smiled as she remembered the story about the girl Ryuji had chosen, and some of the clever feats she had pulled on him.

"That girl successfully made my brother fall head over heels with her in just one week's time. He was so much in love for her, it seems, and both my parents were overjoyed when they found out. A marriage, for sure, was on its way. They never saw Ryuji so happy in his life before. But too bad, it only lasted for a short period of time," Ruka's smile died away, and Kain suddenly knew that this story she was telling him wouldn't have its happy ending.

"What happened?" Kain inquired softly.

"She was shot when my brother took her out to town."

Kain felt cold. "Oh Lord…"

"She was a noble-born like us - young, strong and healthy. However, the shooter also knew this and used his strongest anti vampire gun. I assume you've heard about blood hunters before?"

Kain face registered real disbelief at the mention of Blood Hunters. "Yes, I have. They are fallen hunters - originally normal vampire hunters who have turned their backs on the hunter association and also their own family and bloodline. They work as hired assassins for vampires. The ultimate betrayal, some might call it. They're more or less like the other twin of Kiryuu."

"That's right," Ruka nodded.

"So, you're saying that...?"

"Yes, one of the families, who didn't like Ryuji being engaged to someone other than their daughter, had hired a blood hunter. Two shots right in her heart," Ruka said that with a pained voice. The story had long passed, but still, every time Ruka remembered, she always felt sad for Ryuji. She looked straight into Kain's eyes. "She didn't make it, Akatsuki, and nii-san was devastated."

"Oh… I'm so sorry to hear that," so, Kain didn't hear it wrong after all. Ryuji did feel penitent over his past. It was clear now why he despised the idea of Kain taking Ruka to the town.

"Yeah well... he blamed himself for her death and always regretted having failed to protect her. He had refused to get married for years." Ruka still had some memories of her brother, being as cold as a stone statue when it came to the subject of girls after the incident. It was such a stark difference from what he used to be, and he scared off not only any girls who approached him then, but many of his female friends too.

In the end came a girl named Shiori. She was the one who was able to get through the invisible barrier Ryuji had constructed to protect himself. "If not for Shiori-san who was so determined to win his heart, I'm sure that he would still be single until this very moment. Because my parents have given up on Ryuji's case. They didn't know how to help mend his broken heart."

"Didn't your family do anything to find out who had paid the blood hunter?" Kain asked.

"They did for a while. But it was painstakingly difficult since it was a very much influential family who stood behind all this. In the end, my father gave up, leaving Ryuji to continue alone. It took him almost seven years before he succeeded in tracking the evidence. It was still not enough to drag whoever did that accursed crime, but at least now we know who did it. It was the Tenma family."

"What!?" Kain threw Ruka a shocked look. "The Tenma family who is also interested in courting you? The one who holds a big share in providing material supply for your family business?"

Ruka nodded ruefully. "Yes, that Tenma. They have a daughter who was just two years younger than Ryuji and they wanted so much for Ryuji to marry her since it will hold their position firmer in our family business. Like some kind of merger, I think."

Kain looked repugnant. "Then how could your father still _welcome _their son to court you? I can't believe that! Is the family business more important for him than his own daughter?" He was thoroughly furious now. The idea of someone who came from such a dirty family trying to put his hand on Ruka was making Kain's blood simmer with rage.

"My father never believed Ryuji's found evidence. In his opinion, Ryuji had turned too bitter, blinded from years of trying to revenge his dead love. My father always has a good relationship with Tenma family until now, so he chooses not to believe my brother's words unless he could find stronger evidence." Ruka was sincerely feeling sorry for Ryuji but there was nothing she could do. She was keeping it in mind though, about Ryuji's finding as he had also warned her of the same thing a few days ago.

"So, I guess we have too follow Ryuji's advice about not wandering around town, at least not without additional protection," Kain said after a moment of silence in which both of them struggled with their own thoughts. "His concern is quite sensible. I don't want to take a chance."

Ruka caught Kain's worried look on her and she smiled a little. "We both have the same risk. In fact, your risk is greater than mine, you know."

"Even so…"

"Yeah, I know." Ruka nodded, cutting Kain's words effectively. "Too bad, since I actually kinda liked it…" she added nonchalantly.

Kain stared back at Ruka, he couldn't quite hide his pleased smile. Well, at least there was _something _he did that she actually liked. "Glad to hear that I didn't bore you stiff." he replied her teasingly.

Ruka's lips twitched. "You usually are −" she stopped in mid sentence. Yes, that was right. She used to think that Kain was too reserved as a person, but after yesterday's date, she started to realize that Kain was in fact, someone … interesting… to be with.

Kain watched her sudden contemplation. "Ruka, is something wrong?"

"Oh, no − nothing," Ruka answered hastily. "Um… I just wanted to know if your offer to help me with my homework is still on?"

Kain wasn't a fool. He knew that Ruka was keeping something in her mind, but as usual, he didn't push her to say it. "Of course," he nodded and gestured for her to open her textbook, knowing already that helping Ruka with her Biology homework would eventually turn out to be _him_ doing the homework for her.

"Okay, first question…" Kain started reading. "This is easy…"

"Yeah, you bet, come on," Ruka was ready to write anything that Kain would spit out as an answer.

Kain chuckled. "Not so fast. You read the question, write down the answer and I'll correct you if you've got it wrong."

Ruka grimaced at his words but then relented and took her textbook to read the first question. It took fifteen minutes for her just to answer the first two questions and by then Kain was starting to wonder if she would ever finished scribbling her answer.

Ruka was very much aware that Kain was getting curious and inching closer to peek at her answer. In fact, he had been a little too close to her for comfort and Ruka began to feel rather self-conscious. She moved uncomfortably in her seat as Kain's enticing scent and spreading warmth hit her.

Ruka's furtive movement didn't escape Kain's detection, and the tall aristocrat blew out a somewhat forlorn breath. "Do you still think this is a good idea?" he asked her slowly.

"Well, I wasn't the one who suggested that it was better for me to write down my answer first!"

Kain cast Ruka a steady, bored look. "I'm not talking about your homework."

"Oh..." Ruka was agape and started to blush. "W−why, out of nowhere you−"

Kain leaned back in his chair and fixed his eyes on a blank spot on the table. "Because you're being jumpy at me again, and we both know what's the cause."

Ruka was speechless. She didn't know what to say at Kain's unexpected frankness.

"You know, I'm not a saint." He said again, this time with a much gentle, almost sad tone. "You or I might not know when I will suddenly loose control or taking advantage of you like... like..." he broke off.

"This morning?" Ruka resumed tentatively.

Kain dragged both his hands through his hair frustratedly. "Yeah, and like the other day too. You know what's the worst of it?" he flung Ruka a fierce and somehow hopeless glare. "I don't even feel sorry for those times," he finished in an uneven voice, barely above a whisper before looking down, feeling suddenly ashamed of himself.

Ruka could only stare back at Kain blankly, trying to down what he'd uttered. So Kain had intended what he did to her this morning? Did that mean he took her seriously? But if that was the case, why did he want himself to feel sorry?

"I don't understand. Why should you…?"

Kain's head shot up. "What do you mean by why should I? Of course, because that's the appropriate thing to do! I _should _feel sorry because I can see that you were shaken, and I know that what I did wasn't what you wanted −" _because I know that you only wished us to be friends, _he almost added.

Ruka's heart was accelerating at Kain's last sentence. Why did he say his words with so much disappointment? What he had said… _you were shaken… wasn't what you wanted..._ He had used the word 'you' and 'you' only. He had never used 'we' or 'I' and that made it sound as if _she_ was the one who didn't approved what he did and therefore he was disappointed.

This wasn't right. Everything that he'd said, it could be translated, into him somehow… hoping… for them to be _more_ than friends.

No, it couldn't be! Ruka warded off the strange idea abruptly._ Please_, this was Kain Akatsuki she was thinking about, the one who always stood as a friend and brother to her. There was no way he could actually be thinking of this.

Or… could he?

"Akatsuki, why are we… having this conversation?" she asked Kain softly, cautiously. _Is there something you wanted to tell me?_

Kain gave Ruka a long gaze, catching the unspoken question in her eyes. Too bad, he didn't have the answer to her question. The only thing he knew now was that he didn't like Ruka being so anxious and alert around him. She'd never reacted this way before back in the academy, and he didn't understand why she should now, especially when she shouldn't.

He feared that he had done something that Ruka detested. The one she was too reticent to voice out. Who knew? He had twice lost control and behaved brashly in front of her. If he kept repeating that, sooner or later he knew he would scare her away. That would be the last thing that Kain needed, to have Ruka put some distance between them. It would be better for him to call all this off before she actually did that.

Kain dropping his gaze. "I don't know..." he said softly.

Both of them were quiet for a while. "I think," Ruka started slowly, eyes glued on her barely filled book page. "You should stop wearing that guilty look." she swallowed and turned to face Kain's perplexed chocolate eyes. "I know you're not a saint, but I…"

"I think," Kain cut into Ruka's words, all of a sudden frightened of what she was going to say. He had known, after all that talking with her in this particular subject wasn't such a smart idea. "We should drop this conversation now."

"But−"

"Ruka-sama!" a loud knocking sounded on her bedroom door.

Ruka groaned aloud. This kind of thing was becoming a bad habit…

"Yes, what is it?" she rose from her seat, quickly springing to the door to hold it in place as she suddenly recalled that it was unlocked. It was an unnecessary precaution since no maid would have dared to barge in without being invited but Ruka felt safer in doing that. She didn't want to get into any extra trouble with her Grandmother.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Ruka-sama, but Kyousuke-sama wishes to talk to you. He's waiting in his working room," the maid answered.

"Tell him I'll be right there."

"Yes, Ruka-sama."

Ruka veered away from the door, back to Kain. "What does my father wan−" she stopped abruptly. "Akatsuki…?"

She found herself standing alone inside her empty room.

--


	10. Twist and Turn

**Author's Note: **Thank you very much for **YenGirl** for her suggestion and logic works for this chapter. I really appreciate it :). Also this chapter's lovely opening verse is not mine, but hers. (arigato gozaimasu!). Oh yeah, before I forget, this chapter contains an excessive fangirling element (or at least that's what I judge). I'm sorry about that. It's just out of my control.

**Disclaimer: **Vampire Knight is not mine (and never will).

* * *

_It hurts me when you are upset_

_It haunts me when you shed tears_

_And if you already know all this_

_It should give you an idea then_

_of how much I should hate myself_

_If ever I make you cry_

**Chapter 10. Twist and Turn**

Kyousuke Souen put down the pen he was holding on the top of his book, before shifting his attention to the slightly bored daughter sitting across him. Her attitude was apparently screaming "To hell with you!" even though he hadn't spoken a single word since she came into his working room. He had also noticed that Ruka willfully avoided looking directly at him too, choosing instead to either glance up at the ceiling or at her two brothers who currently sat together at another table brewing up a new business plan.

Kyousuke joined his fingers in front of him and exhaled slowly, preparing himself for the impending and unavoidable quarrel that was sure to surface for the subject he was about to bring up. His daughter was, after all, at a difficult age.

"This is about your engagement party," he started right to the point, as he didn't want to waste any time.

Ruka's reaction was as predicted. "What about it? Isn't it too soon to talk about that?" she answered coldly, still absently planting her gaze at Takehiko and Ryuji in the corner of the room.

"Too soon? Not really… unless you think two weeks is." Kyousuke gave her a slow, tart smile.

Ruka's eyes swung towards Kyousuke in record time. "TWO weeks!?"

"Dammit, Ruka, don't shout!" Takehiko glared at her as he lifted his head from the papers he'd been analyzed. "My ears are ringing."

Ruka ignored him and glued her eyes on Kyousuke. "What do you mean by two weeks?"

"I'm so happy that I got your full attention now, Ruka," her father replied with a twisted wry smile. It was not the most clever thing to do perhaps, but he just couldn't resist. "Just like I said, you will have your engagement party in two weeks' time."

"What!? You can't do that! You can't do this to me!" Ruka bristled immediately.

Kyousuke raised surprised eyebrows at his daughter's protest, his face a study in pure bewilderment. "But why not? Why are you getting angry, anyway? I'm allowing you a chance to secure your relationship with the man of your choice. I'm _discharging _you from your responsibility to give other suitors an impartial chance. Don't you want all this?" he threw his hands exasperatedly up in the air. If it weren't for his Mother's instruction in telling him to let Ruka have her own way, he would never even have considered this sort of thing. "Or do you want to go over your choices again?"

"Uh… I −" Ruka suddenly looked like someone who'd been caught sleeping in the middle of a class lecture, making Kyousuke narrow his eyes very slightly. "No, no! Of course not! I − I mean…" she sputtered quickly and paused a little as she took a deep steadying breath, obviously trying to rein in her temper. "Actually I'm quite happy that you accept my choice, Father. But I think − I still think that two weeks is just too short of a time. Don't you think the preparations will be a pain to work out?"

"You don't have to worry about that, I've instructed Saeko and the others to help you with all the preparations." Kyousuke said in a light, casual tone.

"You have!? But you didn't even ask me first!" Ruka raised her voice again as she glared at her Father heatedly.

"It's because I thought you would be happy with this decision, Ruka!" Kyousuke rasped out a retort, starting to feel annoyed at his daughter's continued whining. "I didn't think that you'll be disagreeing with me! Seriously, why are you getting mad like this? Are you still somehow feeling hesitant about him? About Akatsuki Kain?"

"But it's usually done in one month!" Ruka was relentless. "All my three brothers have had their one full month, so why I'm the only one forced to speed up?"

"Well, your three brothers didn't live in dorms that far away from home all year long…" Kyousuke answered in a restrained note.

"But two weeks is pushing it! I have a whole month of holiday here."

"Fine, if you want an extra time, two and a half it is!"

Ruka gritted her teeth and gave Kyousuke a livid, lengthening glower. "This discussion is pointless. I want my whole month and no less, Father. End of discussion." She lifted herself out of the chair and turned to the door.

"Ruka!" Kyousuke rose from his seat, barely managing not to yell at her. He was aware that he always seemed to be fast losing his temper everytime he had to deal with Ruka. Why did he have to have such a stubborn daughter who resolutely loved her own way? "I'm not offering you an option. I don't see why we can't speed up the engagement day. I've told you the reason, and I've also informed you that you don't really have to fuss over the preparations, if you don't feel like it. I can utilize somebody to take care of everything for you! If you really want to object, then state your reason clearly. Don't sulk like a two-year old!"

Ruka swerved back to Kyousuke, eyes turned crimson by anger and fists clenched tightly at her sides. "It's you, the one who's treating me like a child! Stripping down my right to choose!"

Kyousuke opened his mouth to send a biting retort, but Takehiko was faster as he cut him off. "Would you two calm down or argue elsewhere?" He glanced up from the project papers he was holding. "I can't work all these numbers correctly. Nii-san, help me, would you?"

"Father is right, Ruka." Ryuji breathed out calmly, sounding almost lazy. "You should explain why you're objecting to such a generous arrangement. Otherwise, you don't have a right to refuse."

There was a long, deafening silence following Ryuji's words. Kyousuke was aware that Ruka's eyes had changed its direction, that his daughter was now casting a venomous look at her second brother, obviously craving to rip his head off. She was so mad that Kyousuke could feel the air inside the room stir up a little, affected by Ruka's furious aura before it slowly subsided.

The dark haired vampire sat back to his high-backed chair, feeling moderately relieved. It was indeed a good thing that all of his children had grown old enough by now to understand that they shouldn't use their power against each other even in moments of heated conflict arising between them. Otherwise, he would be calling for workers to repair his house right now, the way he used to do when his children were still young and fighting with each other.

Ruka's eyes finally returned to Kyousuke. "Fine, do as you wish," she hissed through her gnashed teeth. "I'll do my best not to meddle with the preparations."

With those words Ruka swivelled and left the room.

--

Ruka was pissed beyond words as she stormed out of her father's work room. The old man was simply insane. She just didn't understand what was going through his mind – acting as if he were afraid he would be dead in two or three weeks' time and never get to witness his only daughter getting engaged. Two weeks – or even two and a half weeks - was simply rushing things. She didn't know whether this idea was her Father's or someone else's but if it was the latter, Ruka could easily picture in her mind the head criminal who did it.

Ryuji.

There was one hundred percent no doubt whatsoever that all this was _his _doing. Ruka's blood boiled at the thought that Ryuji was betraying their agreement. The dirty bastard even had some nerve to put a deceptively calm and lazy tone in his voice!

Actually, Ruka knew that Ryuji doubted Kain's ability to protect her. He was being shadowed by his own past, fearing that she would suffer the same fate as his dead love, and thus he thought it necessary to plant some idea into Kyousuke's head in order to speed up the engagement party. He no longer cared that he initially disapproved of Ruka's particular choice as long as he could do something to improve her safety. And that was, the sooner her engagement was finalized, the safer she would be, because the other rejected suitors would have no choice but to forget their intentions towards Ruka once she was formally engaged.

A neat idea for Ryuji, of course, if he pushed aside the fact that seeing Kain together with Ruka made his stomach revolt. He was surely rejoicing now that he'd successfully made Ruka's life more miserable than before as she was left with fewer and fewer options to choose. It was either stick to her plan like before, think of a new plan to delay and eventually avoid the engagement, or spill the beans and concede her scheme to each of her family members. But no matter which option she chose, she had better decided fast before her engagement commenced.

Ruka fought back sudden tears of frustration. Why had her life become so difficult? Why couldn't Ryuji just let her have her way and didn't interfere and meddle in her affairs? Oh, how she wished she could tell her family that she didn't care about all this and they could all just go to hell with their ridiculous traditions.

Ruka had to find Kain now to ask his opinion about this. She couldn't decide alone this time since the matter was growing far more serious than before. Kain had the right to opt whether he wanted to proceed or not or if he somehow had a better idea to counteract all this.

Ruka shook her head repentantly. It looked like Kain would have a headache today.

--

Kain broke the water surface with a big splash as he changed his swimming style from a breaststroke to a perfect butterfly. He cleaved through the water easily with powerful, yet beautiful strokes and quickly adapted his timing to breathe in the short period of every third stroke.

The fifty-meter long swimming pool was practically nothing to Kain, compared to the one hundred-meter long pool at one of the Ichijo's family estate he'd once tried on a summer holiday years ago. But Kain had to admit that a pool this size wasn't bad at all especially since it was a luxurious indoor pool equipped with its own showers, washrooms and sauna. It was a standard, Olympic sized one too, that served as a good past time since Kain had a lot of time to spare and practically nothing at all to do.

Kain did a full thirty laps using butterfly strokes before he started to slow down. Not because he was already tired but because he had picked up Ruka's scent in the midst of the strong smell of chlorine from the water. Kain turned and saw Ruka leaning against the glass door frame, watching him for he didn't know how long already.

Ruka started to approach Kain but stopped three feet away from the edge of the pool, folding her arms across her chest. She had been standing there for at least five minutes observing Kain doing his laps, and during that time, she had grown more and more unsure as to whether or not this was an appropriate time to bring up the subject of their proposed engagement. Kain looked like he was having a good time and she didn't want to ruin it for him.

Kain swam towards Ruka upon seeing her approaching him. He didn't expect to see her here, almost as if she had been looking for him. Was it because she wished to continue their earlier conversation in her room before they were interrupted? Well, he hoped not...

"Hi, wanna join me?" Kain asked Ruka casually the moment he touched the tessellated surface of the pool edge. He saw Ruka bite her lip at his invitation, then her eyes gave a fleeting glance at the water before returning to him. Kain frowned slightly as he caught the nervous look in her eyes.

"Um… no thanks," Ruka shook her head slowly as she looked at the crystal blue water once again and shuddered involuntarily. She didn't fancy the idea of swimming. In all honesty, Ruka was afraid of the very idea of swimming which totally had nothing to do with the fact that she couldn't swim. She just didn't have the guts to lower herself into the water.

Pathetic as it was, Ruka had once nearly drowned at this same pool many years ago when she was very young and playing alone there. It was one close call. If it hadn't been for Shigeru who came in time to save her, she wouldn't even be here now. Her father had almost fired Saeko and a maid who was in charge of watching her at that time. Saeko's position was saved only because Ruka had been clinging to the old lady and refused to let her go, hence the headservant hadn't been banished by Kyousuke.

But ever since that day, Ruka was still shadowed by that awful experience and couldn't stop shivering at the mere thought of playing in the water. The furthest she could muster was sitting at the edge of the pool and even that she only did when absolutely necessary.

Kain's frown deepened at Ruka's visible shudder. Was she all right? "Are you sure?" he asked her once again, a little confused at the thought of Ruka searching him out for nothing. Maybe it was because she actually wanted to continue their earlier interrupted conversation? If that were the case, Kain knew he had better not give her the opportunity of even starting it, because he seriously wasn't in the mood for it now.

"I..." Ruka trailed off. Kain watched her expression intently as her eyes once more darted from his, to the crystal blue waters behind him, then back to his eyes again before unconsciously sliding down to his defined shoulders and chest. Kain raised his eyebrows at her, surprised to find Ruka had actually let her gaze rest on him for a while.

"Is something wrong?" Ruka heard Kain mutter, and she quickly dragged her eyes back to his. They were now filled with a trace of amusement and Ruka colored rapidly in the realization that she had just been caught staring at his body. She gave herself a mental slap, feeling very much embarrassed at her inability to resist taking in the very alluring view of Kain's lean, fairly muscled build.

_You know what, Ruka? You just can't be trusted, can you?_

Ruka sighed jadedly and gritted her teeth, feeling annoyed at herself. Seriously, how could she be worrying about the water in one second and appreciating Kain's physical outline the next? "Nothing, I think I'll just leave you to… have the pool for yourself." She shrugged and turned around, preparing to leave the pool.

"Hey Ruka, wait!"

There was a noisy sound of splashing water and Ruka looked around to find that Kain had already lifted himself out of the pool, water sluicing off him. Ruka just couldn't find the exact words to describe her friend's currently smouldering appearance but her rebellious eyes once again - and completely against her will - started examining the perfectly structured planes and contours of Kain's body, even more perceptible now to her with no water distorting the view at all. Ruka's eyes travelled free and unbridled from Kain's broad shoulders, progressing downwards before being captivated by a small, dark tattoo in the shape of a flame, located just an inch to the left of his navel.

Lord, when had Kain gotten that...? Ruka's eyes widened slightly at the sight. He looked so darn _hot _actually, with that unexpected symbol etched on his flat stomach, effectively making Ruka prolong her stare.

Actually, she didn't mean to stare. She even wasn't a fan of tattoos, for goodness' sake. But now that she'd seen one placed on Kain's flat, toned abs, and especially near his navel, Ruka had to admit that it made him appear just… irresistible.

Kain stood frozen on the spot, exactly eight feet away from Ruka. He didn't dare move a muscle because he was sure that any kind of movement would promptly snap Ruka out of her trance. This was something he hadn't expected, for Ruka to scrutinize his body and so thoroughly too, but nonetheless he felt oddly pleased as he watched her attention wandering unreservedly across his torso before it finally locked onto his tattoo. Kain's lips slowly twisted upwards. It looked like this was one of those rare occasions when Ruka did something impetuous, not that he minded her doing that, anyway. And especially not when she particularly seemed to be enjoying what she was seeing…

"Fourteen," Kain alleged softy. What Ruka had been thinking was clearly written on her face at that moment, and if Kain didn't read it wrong, the brown haired girl was wondering when he'd gotten the flame symbol because she had never seen it on him before.

Ruka jerked at Kain's voice. She automatically looked up and found him half smiling, with a soft knowing gaze in his eyes. That had Ruka cringing inwardly as the former color on her cheeks which hadn't completely disappeared instantly returned with a vengeance. She was at once aware that both of them knew she had been caught staring − again − at him with a most un-lady-like attitude.

How embarrassing... She must have imitated an immature girl who'd just seen an unclad male body for the first time, despite the fact that she had three older brothers, and had seen them bare-chested during various occasions.

"Four− teen...?" Ruka heard herself asking back unsteadily, trying hard to act normal while resisting the sudden urge to flee. Which she would have done if she hadn't noticed Kain's gesture, which meant that he was about to tell her something.

"The tattoo," Kain's lips tilted higher at Ruka's tone. As twisted as it was, he couldn't deny that he was actually happy to discover Ruka's obvious discomfort and her partially dazed mind. Happy to learn the evidence that he somehow did hold _some _appeal for the female vampire − to hell with all the logic works right now. "I got this at the age of fourteen," he resumed, pointing at the flame symbol.

"I never knew..." Ruka frowned. Her eyes slithered back to Kain's navel for a moment.

"I don't want the others to know," Kain spoke honestly. Not many knew that he had a tattoo on his belly, not even his own parents. He was careful not to let them see that since if they knew how and why he got it, they would surely be incensed. They just didn't like the idea of him having those 'weird' stuff, and they already gone off once on the day they caught their young son sporting a pierced ear. The same would happen if they ever saw his tattoo. Maybe even worse. Because a tattoo was something commonly used by vampire hunters to tame class D and E vampires, and therefore the idea of a noble class or pureblood vampire having a tattoo on their body could be perceived as self-degrading.

Kain didn't know if Ruka would look at him the same way or not, but since she had seen it, he wanted to let her know about the whole story. Besides, for no apparent reason, Kain suddenly wanted Ruka to be included amongst the small number of people who knew about it.

"How did you get that?"

Kain could tell that Ruka was starting to take an interest. "I'll tell you if stay," he said tentatively, testing his luck. He had wanted to ask Ruka to stay anyway, when he came out of the pool to stop her. "It's awkward to chat like this, and what's more, swimming alone isn't that fun."

Ruka's expression changed into hesitation upon Kain's request and she shot another glance at the water, making Kain examined her suspiciously. It looked like Ruka really wasn't in the mood for some water activity. But given her open embarrassment just now, it was quite likely that she was feeling uncomfortable around him since he was clad only in swimming trunks. Guess he should bend backwards a little... "You don't have to go all the way into the water," if he couldn't coax her to be in the water, having her at the edge of the pool wasn't bad either.

Ruka gave Kain a long look before she finally nodded – she supposed she could manage if it just sitting at the pool's edge, right? "Okay… I'll go change my clothes then."

Kain watched Ruka heading towards the changing room at the other side of the pool with a triumphant smile on his lips.

--

Ruka stood in front of the full length mirror inside the changing room. She eyed her own appearance critically and with a decided lack of enthusiasm, feeling dissatisfied with what she saw. She started thinking about changing into a different colored swimsuit. Perhaps the cerulean blue one? But she remembered she had tried that one before this, and it didn't look any better on her.

Ruka sighed, bending forward and gently touching the mirror surface with her forehead. Up until a moment ago, she had always thought she looked good in any type of clothing. But now it turned out that she felt insecure the moment she put the swimsuit on.

This had never happened before. It was true that amongst all kinds of clothing, a swimsuit was the one she seldom wore. Only if she was about to attend a compulsory pool-side party or another similar function where a swimsuit was the dress code would she relent and wear one. All because she loathed the vulnerable feeling while wearing it, knowing that people could easily drag you, or viciously push you into the water if you were already appropriately dressed, and not in a formal or elaborate party dress. But even with those worries she never lacked in confidence before...

Ruka straightened, once again staring at her own reflection in the mirror and searching for any flaws on the spandex material. Of course she couldn't find one. It was _she_ after all who had a problem, and not the bathing suit. She just felt insecure in the realization that she was currently dressed not for a party, but for a more… personal… meeting. And even though there would be only one pair of eyes this time instead of hundreds that would inevitably watch and judge her showcase, Ruka felt far more nervous than ever before. If it weren't for the fact that she wanted to know more about Kain, she would've turned his offer down flat without a second thought.

Now it was a little too late to change her mind.

--

Kain knew without having to look that Ruka had already returned to the pool. Even between his fast pace strokes he could still pick up her sweet flowery scent whenever he surfaced to draw some air, his senses somehow attuned to her very presence. Kain didn't stop however, and kept swimming, determined to finish the last stretch of another thirty laps round. He needed this anyway – a strenuous activity to help him to neutralize his anticipation and excitement as he waited for Ruka to change her clothes.

And it was something that now proved to be completely useless because his anticipation and excitement had returned double fold the exact moment he completed his lap and turned to see Ruka walking in his direction.

It was very obviously Kain's turn to stare now.

And stare he did.

He just couldn't stop staring at Ruka, the way a hungry child would ogle a longed-for candy. He couldn't stop appreciating her faultless shape and he couldn't help but memorise each and every graceful swell as well as all those tantalizing curves outlined in a two piece deep maroon bikini.

Ruka just looked that… stunning. The bikini moulded itself to her beautiful figure and its dark colour looked splendid on her, complementing her soft and creamy pale skin. Kain's mouth went dry and he couldn't even find enough saliva to swallow. He was completely… lost.

Ruka swallowed nervously under Kain's intense gaze. There was unmistakable heat shimmering in the aristocrat's eyes now as they slowly traced and enjoyed every detail of her appearance in the revealing swimwear. It made her mind reel back to the moment outside her room when Kain dipped his head slowly to meet her lips, his eyes full of intent...

Ruka swore silently, wondering if she had somehow become insane, to have that particular scene keep playing inside her head.

"And you said that swimming alone isn't fun…" she forced herself to throw a half careless remark. Anything would be fine since she needed to route her mind. Not to mention that she was also slightly desperate now to escape Kain's profuse and rapt attention. She noted that the male vampire's eyes were following her every movement, even when she flicked her long loosely braided hair behind her back.

Kain cleared his throat and finally let his gaze slide away, feeling like someone who'd just drunk a bottle of liquor − a little disoriented and more than a little warm. "I was merely waiting and had nothing better to do." he replied, his tone a little husky, as he swam closer to where Ruka had carefully chosen a spot to sit down, right next to the pool's metal steps.

Ruka snaked her left arm across the cold metal handle, gripping it and almost hoping that she could at the same time draw some strength from it to keep her feet half dangling in the pool because being this close to the water seriously freaked her out. She also didn't want to perform something awkward in front of Kain or he would be upset again. God only knew how sensitive Kain was concerning her emotional state...

"So how did you get that?" Ruka cast an inquiring look and tossed her chin at at Kain's torso. She had to keep her mind occupied.

Kain lips twisted in an amused grin. Ruka sure loved to get her answers fast - patience was obviously not one of her strong suits. "The right question would be who _made _me get me this."

Ruka blinked. "You didn't get it by your own volition?"

"No. Actually, my family doesn't like this kind of things and I like to keep my head intact as much as possible."

"So who…?"

Kain played a sour grin. "Guess."

Ruka's eyes grew wide in immediate conception. "No way... Hanabusa?"

"Who else?" Kain answered dryly, but failed to sound too irritated.

Ruka stifled a chuckle at Kain's response. It always amused her that even though Aidou loved to give Kain a hard time, he never held it against his younger cousin. "So what happened?"

"You know how Hanabusa is. His life revolves around girls. He lost his bet one day, due to over confidence, I might say, or maybe the girl just had a clear mind and rejected him. And of course, as usual, he made me the victim of his defeat."

Ruka couldn't help but smile. "But why must he make you cover him? I mean... it was just a tattoo..."

Kain snorted sardonically. "He included me at first and pleaded with me! Besides, I don't expect him to be able to handle this." Ruka gave Kain a quizzical expression at his answer. "Because a tattoo isn't a small business for us vampires."

"It isn't?" Ruka tipped her head to one side.

"Now, how many of our friends have you ever noticed wearing a tattoo?"

Ruka knitted her brows then shook her head slowly. "None," she paused for a moment then added, "If you don't count that insolent ex-human at our school."

Kain nodded, knowing that Ruka was referring to Zero Kiryuu, their school prefect, an ex-human vampire who wore his taming tattoo on the left side of his neck. Kain knew Ruka had an aversion towards him and always used a set choice of words to address the snappy, rude silver haired prefect rather than directly use his name.

"Right, all thanks to our natural regeneration power. You try using a normal human method to place a tattoo on us, I guarantee it will fade in one hour's time. This one that that I got was done using the hunter technique that is usually used when taming an ex-human − only minus its added charm and I get to choose the pattern. It was a pretty painful process and that was why Hanabusa volunteered me - so generous of him. Because the spoilt brat knew how it would be like and he is _so _bad at dealing with pain." Kain finished his sentence with a small shrug, not realising that his matter-of-fact air had once again reverted to a mild but unmistakable fondness whenever he talked about that blond haired cousin of his.

Ruka set her eyes on Kain for a full ten seconds before her lips slowly formed a smile. It was just so Kain-like to protect the ones he held dear to his heart.

"What are you grinning at?" Kain complained and splashed water playfully at Ruka. Her smile was contagious to him.

"Heeey...!" Ruka squealed in surprise, the water felt fairly cold on her skin. "You're making me wet!" she gasped when more water hit her head and face.

Kain smirked happily and was about to say something in reply when he saw Ruka bend low to hit the water surface with both palms, sending a wave of water in his direction. Kain tried to duck but she was faster. The water hit him squarely in the face, some of it even going inside his half opened mouth, making him cough. He rapidly straightened up to catch Ruka still bending over the water, a mischievous glint dancing in her eyes now.

The next thing they both knew was neither of them could draw a decent enough breath or even see each other properly as water flew in all directions, wetting them thoroughly. Kain glimpsed in between his fast shoves at the water that Ruka had already shifted to a kneeling position on the pool side for a better stance and aim. She had finally freed her hold on the pool stair handle so that she could use both hands to attack him as she used her position to her advantage. Kain had to admit Ruka was doing very well because he choked on the water a few times under her vigorous assault. He had to do something…

Ruka knew that she had managed to gain an upper hand on Kain since he was having a hard time just trying to draw breath. He would give in anytime now, she was sure of it. "Just surrender already, Wild!" she said, lifting her left hand in front of her eyes just in time to ward off a big splash coming from him.

Lowering her hand, Ruka was ready to hurl even more water at Kain, when she found him missing from his previous position.

_He must've dived under the water._

"Hey, you're cheati−"

Ruka's words died in her throat and turned to a shriek instead as Kain suddenly surfaced right in front of her, his left hand closing around her right wrist before pulling her hard in his direction. Towards the water.

Kain watched Ruka fall into the water − head first, splashing water everywhere as the crisp sound of splitting water mingled with her sharp scream before cutting it right off. He laughed and hurriedly kicked back to set some distance between himself and Ruka – he was sure she would go after him for revenge the moment she resurfaced. Chuckling to himself as he recalled Ruka's shocked expression just before she fell in, Kain quickly swam to the other side of the pool, before turning around to check whether she had surfaced and would go ballistic on him or not.

But he found Ruka still hadn't surfaced yet. Kain's smile slowly faded to be replaced with a frown. She was underwater far too long for just a normal fall. Kain was sure that the pool's depth didn't exceed three meters. So what was keeping her? Or was she just playing him another game now?

"Ruka?" he called, starting to feel worried now as he realised Ruka hadn't had a chance to draw in some air when he hauled her forward. He dropped a curious gaze at the place far point where the large ripples of water from her previous fall had started to subside, spotting her at once. The dim pool lighting and still rippling water was currently distorting all images, but Kain could fairly see that Ruka was still under the water, making some strange movements as if trying to reach the water surface but not managing to.

What the…? Kain squinted, trying to get a better look…

He suddenly went cold.

Oh no. Please, someone tell him that this wasn't true.

Why didn't he see it before? It was now so clear why Ruka directed all those nervous glances at the water earlier. Why that unwillingness when he had first invited her to join him. Why she didn't quickly surface after the fall.

_Ruka couldn't swim!_

"RUKA!!" Kain's shout echoed around the pool area as he started to swim to her like a man possessed. To where she still floundering feebly a couple of feet below the water. His heart raced to his throat as he lanced his way to Ruka and grabbed her body. She only produced a little involuntary resistance against him and that made even more fear wash over him as he pulled her over to the side of the pool as fast as he could then frantically climbed out.

Ruka was slumped on the stone floor, coughing water out of her wind pipe and trying desperately to take in air at the same time. Kain ran for his towel that lay on the nearby table and was back at Ruka's side in no time, draping the dry terrycloth material around her shaking frame. He drew her into his arms, holding her tightly and cradling her head against his chest as she started to sob and tremble uncontrollably. She looked deadly pale and terrified.

"Oh God, I'm sorry Ruka. I'm so sorry..." Kain whispered remorsefully. His voice was shaking as well as his whole body, overwhelmed by a deep wave of regret and self-disgust. He was just so stupid.

Four times. _Four times _he had witnessed Ruka throwing a dreaded glance at the water. He had been confounded but didn't give it any further thought as he usually did, and just assumed that Ruka wasn't in the mood for getting wet. He just stubbornly followed his selfish wish and wheedled her to accompany him.

And then… he had forcefully yanked her into the water.

Kain's chest constricted painfully, hearing Ruka continue to sob against his chest. He really hated himself now for scaring her, for laughing at her when she fell in, for each and every second that he left Ruka alone under the water, suffocating and struggling for her life. A chill ran down his spine. If he hadn't come to his senses and simply followed his assumptions that it was just Ruka's trick to scare him off, getting her payback…

Kain buried his face in Ruka's damp hair, feeling like he couldn't even breathe properly. "I'm so sorry." he choked out repentantly, holding her tighter to him and rocking her ever so gently.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Both Kain and Ruka gave a small jolt at the low growling voice and whipped their heads to the entrance.

"Ryuji− san…"

Ryuji was standing rigid on the door step. His eyes darted from their positions to Kain's guilty and shocked expression, then to his sister's teary eyes. He needed no explanation.

Kain could practically hear something snap inside Ryuji and he swallowed unconsciously as their eyes met once again. This time there was a glow in Ryuji's blood red and furious eyes that Kain recognized immediately, and it caused another chill to run down his spine.

The aristocrat's eyes glowed with murderous intent.

--

**Challenge:** Do you think **you** know Kain Akatsuki well enough? Are you _sure_? Then now, can actually tell me which _official VK manga wallpaper_ has a picture of Kain with tattoo peeking on his stomach, hmm? wicked grin What? No, no, I'm not kidding you girls, because I do have such wallpaper and it's currently decorating my computer desktop background pretty nicely.

If you're already knew or curious or desperate because you couldn't find it and want an answer, you can PM me (it's easy to find though, since Kain rarely made appearance).

Oh, and one last thing. To **YenGirl**, you're _not_ allowed to take parts since you've known the answer :P


	11. Paid Retribution

**Author notes:** Time for another update! XD.

Yen! Here, let me hug you…—squeezes YenGirl until she squeals— thank you so much for pointing over a big bad loophole on this chapter, and for taking a look for the second time as I stitch the hole closed. I really, really appreciate your help! :)

Oh yeah, before I forgot, I have an announcement to made here. Umm… I think all of you who follow this fic have more or less notice that I'm usually updating within eight to ten days range, right? Well, regarding this matter I'm sorry that I have to inform one quite bad news (or just ordinary news…) that starting after this chapter, the updates may take longer than usual. If someone actually feeling interested to know the reason why it will take longer now, you're welcome to take a visit to my profile page. I'm putting the detailed explanation there. Thank you very much and… enjoy the chapter :)!

**Disclaimer: **Vampire Knight is not mine…

* * *

_As I wrap my heart_

_Around your enduring shoulders_

_I try to ease your ache_

_Bit by bit_

_Because I always know_

_Nothing hurts the most_

_Than the unseen pain_

_That runs deep through the soul_

**Chapter 11. Paid Retribution **

Kain didn't have a chance to explain anything. Ryuji also didn't seem to want any explanation from him either. He simply rushed forward like a hungry predator while pulling an ominous aura that erupted within the room.

The only thing that Kain managed to do in those crucial few seconds was to remove himself from Ruka when Ryuji lunged at him, his right hand aiming for his throat while his left stretched out towards the pool's metal stairs. There was not enough time for Kain to evade the other vampire entirely, and he was knocked down by the hand that closed around his neck in an iron grip, Ryuji's left knee pressing hard into his chest even before his back hit the floor.

Kain's fast vampire reflexes kicked in and both of his hands automatically moved, trying to free himself while still in the air. However, his attention was suddenly divided as his eyes caught sight of hundreds of tiny shimmering drops of a strange grayish, liquid-like metal flying obediently to the aristocrat's hand like a hail of quicksilver bullets the precise moment the two of them crashed down on the tiled floor.

What the -? Then Kain realized the pool steps steel handle was now missing and his eyes widened in realization even as the air rushed out of his lungs.

_A metal user. _

Ruka's brother possessed the power to manipulate _metal_. Kain had never met a metal power wielder before, but he more or less knew how to match their power. Everyone knew that metal's weakness was fire after all...

However, Kain was also aware that because Ryuji was Ruka's blood brother, he couldn't use his pyro skill without restraint, and he wouldn't initiate an attack unless Ryuji attacked him first. And that was exactly what Kain needed to know - whether the aristocrat who was now trying to render him incapacitated, was only playing a bluff as a warning, or whether he was really going to attack in earnest. Since this was also his first time ever in seeing a metal user in action, Kain couldn't help but observe in rapt fascination at how the flying quicksilver droplets solidified the moment they touched Ryuji's fingers − very much similar to Aidou's ice trickery − and melded to form a long straight sword.

Kain's eyes clashed with Ryuji's once again and he swallowed at the sight. Rage had made the older vampire's eyes glow like twin embers as he glowered down at him. But that was certainly not the cause of Kain's heart suddenly kicking hard against his ribcage now. It was the complete lack of hesitation in Ryuji's blazing eyes as the dark-haired vampire held the newly formed and gleaming sword poised high in the air, with its tip angling right over Kain's heart.

This does _not _look good...

"NO! AKATSUKI!!"

Ruka's voice, pitched high and laced with dread, rang out the same moment Ryuji brought the sword down, snapping Kain right out of his petrified state. He reacted fast – flinging up his right hand to halt the sword's swift descend, his fingers closing around the long blade in the middle. Ignoring the bite of raw pain as the sharp edge of the cold metal sliced mercilessly into his skin, Kain concentrated on directing his fire power to his right palm, forcing the metal in his grasp to yield immediately under the intense heat from his skin. It melted on the spot, turning to burning hot, semi-liquid metal where his right hand seized it and he shoved the sword away from his body, causing the broken off part to fall to the floor with a deafening clamor.

Ryuji's eyes went wide in turn with dawning comprehension of the other vampire's power, and that lent Kain a few seconds to grab the stunned vampire's left wrist and wrench the hilt of the sword out of his grasp. He tossed it to the floor to join its broken off tip with an equally deafening clang while his other hand clutched at Ryuji's right wrist which was still strangling him, depriving him of much needed oxygen. Kain focused his fire power at the noble's wrist now, just enough to cause a light burn and force him to withdraw.

A low growl escaped Ryuji's lips as he reflexively tugged his hand back, incinerated by the searing heat. But still, he stubbornly retained his position by attempting to seize Kain's arms again, as his knee continued to dig into Kain's chest. Rage was blinding his mind. All he saw was red, and all he knew was that the young vampire he had currently pinned to the floor now had hurt his precious little sister.

It was indeed a good thing that he had hurriedly searched for Ruka when he caught the sound of her panicked scream on his way to retrieve some files from his room. He had revoked his previous destination and ran off to check on her instead.

And then he had seen him. Kain Akatsuki. That insufferable boy was holding his drenched sister who was _crying_ and _shivering_ wildly like a half drowned kitten in his arms. Ryuji had known at once what had happened.

His sister had almost drowned. And Kain _was_ the one responsible for it this time. Because Ryuji knew that there was no chance in the world that Ruka was brave enough to go near the water by her own choice. For heaven's sake, she had avoided any water-based activity all these years, much like how any human would avoid a contagious and untreatable disease.

"Stop it, Ryuji-san!" Kain warned through his extended fangs. He was struggling to throw Ryuji off without success when a single hard punch suddenly landed on his nose and broke it, the same moment he felt a tug on his earring. It was followed by a shrill cry from Ruka just before something sharp sliced into the left side of his neck.

Bright sharp pain blossomed on Kain's senses, centered on his face and neck. It mingled with the smell of his own blood, making him grunt hoarsely. He didn't see when Ryuji had delivered that punch or when he'd summoned his metal earring to use as a weapon against him. But he did see that he'd had enough of Ruka's brother messing with him. Kain knew that he should at least hold back against Ryuji a little, but he certainly wasn't going to stand for being a damn punching bag either. Especially for someone who wouldn't even hear his explanation. Seriously, whatever punishment he was sure to receive for what he'd done to Ruka, Kain preferred to have it _after_ Ryuji heard him out first.

Struggling anew from his now soaring temper, Kain snarled and prepared to shoot a fireball to Ryuji's chest. However, the older vampire noble was alert enough in realising this and jumped off and back in reflex to dodge the forthcoming counter attack. Ryuji was a little late however, and Kain's fireball hit him upright on his stomach as he leapt up into the air, scorching his skin before he could flip over. The well placed attack interposed with Ryuji's smooth somersault and he couldn't help but stagger sideways in pain as he landed on the floor.

Kain used his chance well, swiftly producing another fireball and hurling it towards the dark haired aristocrat, not wanting to give his opponent an opportunity to convalesce from his shock. This time, the ball of fire collided with the aristocrat's left shoulder with deadly accuracy and like its predecessor, it livened up at once and started to devour the cotton material it touched, smoldering the unprotected flesh underneath it. Ryuji gave a sharp hiss at that, promptly ripping off his ruined shirt and tossing it aside. Burnt marks were now visible on his bare shoulder and abdomen.

Kain got back onto his feet, one hand going up to check his bleeding neck. He winced a little as he probed at his cut. The wound wasn't too deep and it only bled a little. But it was light damage compared to his broken nose that was dripping with blood and felt twice as painful as the cut.

"You two, please stop this foolishness now! Nii-san, please!"

Ruka's adamant pleas drew Kain's attention away from Ryuji. He saw that she was already back on her feet despite still visibly shaking. But Kain couldn't tell whether the trembling was a remnant from her earlier fall or because she was mighty pissed off over his and Ryuji's fight now. She eyed his bleeding neck anxiously though, and flung an angry glare at her brother in a highly irritated fashion.

"Stay away from this, Ruka," Ryuji grated frostily as an answer. He tenaciously ignored his sister's protest, he didn't care if she would later explode at him or if she was even going to hate him for this. He was so damned riled by Kain and he wanted to make sure that the impertinent boy got what he deserved.

He would think about the consequences of his action later.

Gathering himself, Ryuji once again summoned the broken sword. Like before, the metal submissively leapt to his hand. But this time he didn't capture them too long to start forming something identifiable. Instead he released them back into the air, still in the form of liquid metal drops and they morphed suddenly into hundreds of small blades that floated menacingly in the air in front of him, glinting wickedly.

Ruka's eyes widened at the sight of her brother's move. She had seen him pull this certain technique only a couple of times before when he had been livid enough with whoever had had the guts - or lack of brain cells - to offend him to this level. This move was, needless to say, extremely dangerous because once Ryuji had sent the blades flying to their intended target, he could usually execute a total control of their maneuver - he could even disperse them in the air to attack from all directions. And since it was one of the moves he had developed years ago in his adolescence, there was no doubt at all that he was now a master at it.

Ruka knew though, that her brother rarely performed this kind of attack, knowing the heinous effect it was capable of imposing. This move had taken quite a number of victims already, often causing serious injury to those unable to deflect it. That was why she couldn't believe Ryuji was now actually resolved to use it on Kain.

God, she had to stop Ryuji now or Kain would surely be hospitalized for a week. Or even worse. But before Ruka could think of anything to stop her brother, she saw him inhale deeply, both hands coming up. As the older vampire thrust both his hands forward in a 'push' motion, Ruka let out a terrified shriek. "No!!"

There was no time for her to think anymore. She didn't have any choice but to follow her instinct before the blades reached their sole target, and she charged at her brother even as the small blades dashed off at Kain's direction, in a beautiful deadly formation.

Kain heard Ruka's scream and saw her all hell-bent as she launched herself at her brother, on the exact moment Ryuji threw his blades. He watched the two of them topple into the pool as some of the flying blades tore through his defensive firewall.

Kain had already known that some of the blades would hit him without fail. But _when_ that actually happened, he couldn't tell for sure and he didn't even feel the pain of their impact on his skin. Because the only thing he could feel at that moment was his whole being suddenly engulfed in sheer terror upon knowing what Ruka had just done. Then he was already inside the pool even before his brain could send him a command to react.

For the second time in ten short minutes, Kain grabbed Ruka's body to propel her out of the water. But this time, he had to make an extra effort to peel her away from Ryuji as the furious beauty flailed in his arms, trying to deposit kick after vicious kick at her own brother's chest. Obviously, her anger overrode her fear for water at that very moment.

Ruka was coughing, panting and shivering again when Kain finally managed to get her out of the pool. He grabbed the same towel which happened to be lying on the floor near his feet − the one Ruka abandoned when she stormed at Ryuji − and wrapped it closely around her shaking shoulders before folding his arms around her.

"Ruka, are you alright?" Kain asked in alarm, eyeing her acute pallor and noting her erratic breathing. He dared to swear that she looked worse than her first fall into the pool. But Ruka didn't answer his question. She was glaring past him, her eyes tinged with crimson and her fangs showing between her pale, parted lips. Kain turned his gaze at the direction she was looking at and found Ryuji just climbing out of the water.

Kain tensed up. From the way the quivering girl in his arms was glaring daggers at her very soaked brother, he need not be told that she was now livid at her own sibling.

Steadying herself against Kain, Ruka slowly got to her feet with her eyes still locked onto Ryuji. Kain got up too, to help her gain her balance as well as counteract the distinct disadvantage he felt, crouching down before his opponent.

"I swear I'll make you sorry if you don't stop now, Nii-san."

Ruka was uncharacteristically quiet as she said those words. Almost too quiet for Kain's liking, not to mention that it made the fine hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Because even though there was a hint of unsteadiness inside her voice − attributed to her current physical state − there was also no mistaking the clear message in her glowing crimson eyes now. She was very much determined to keep her promise and would crush Ryuji if he dared to lay another finger on Kain.

Ryuji's eyes filled with more simmering rage upon Ruka's threat, but he didn't make any further moves and just stood silently on the spot. He shook his head slowly as he shifted his gaze from Ruka to meet Kain's.

"You don't deserve Ruka!" he breathed out harshly through his tightly clenched jaw, its muscle jumping under the skin. "You don't even know, do you? That she is scared of water? That she almost drowned in this damn pool years ago?" he snarled, watching the face of his enemy closely. "What a heartless bastard you are… forcing her to go in there _twice._"

Ruka knew that Ryuji did this on purpose. He had ceased his physical assault on Kain because of her threat, but he cleverly used his own assumptions to figure out what had happened and utilized it to keep attacking the younger vampire, even if it was now in a verbal form.

"Nii-san!" Ruka tried to nullify Ryuji's words but it was too late. The damage had been done. Ruka almost cursed as she felt Kain suddenly stiffen by her side and turned to find his guilty, shock-filled eyes on her.

"Oh God, I…" Kain's voice was broken and laden with self-remorse. He twined his wet hair with one trembling hand as he slowly retracted the other from Ruka's shoulder, dark torment and self-loathing crept across his stricken features.

Ruka opened her mouth, wanting to defy any impending words of apology from Kain but before she could say it, there was a soft gasp coming from the door that made the three of them look towards it in unison.

One of the housemaids stood on the threshold of the door, frozen in shock. Her mouth was agape and there was a mound of clean towels at her feet, obviously forgotten in her stupefied state as she spotted the master's son, daughter and their guest in a much less than pristine appearance. She stared at the three of them, taking in their injured states with slowly dawning comprehension in her wide, rounded eyes.

Ruka could tell that she was currently looking at trouble. Big trouble. Hell…As if she hadn't had enough of that already…

She was slaving around in her brain for a solution when she heard Ryuji produced a low growl which caused the maid to jump in surprise before quickly bending down to scoop the dropped towels back into her arms. She then straightened up and bowed excessively to express her uneasiness. All were done with lightning speed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Ryuji-sama… I didn't mean to... I'll − I'll leave now... I'm sorry..." She bowed a couple of times more, praying to leave this place alive, in one piece and as soon as possible.

No such luck.

"Wait!" Ryuji barked, making her jump again and even flinch in fear. "Who said that you're allowed to leave? Come here!"

Ruka watched the pitiful maid take one wobbly step after another before she finally stopped a few feet away from her brother. Her head was bowed and her eyes cast down.

"I can see that you've been attracted by the scent of our blood," Ryuji uttered his words coldly, in an intimidating way. It was clearly a slander, but the maid was in such a frightened state that she didn't have the slightest courage to deny it. Ruka pressed her lips together tightly. Given any other circumstances, she would have already jumped in to defend the poor soul. But this time, she knew that she had to coerce herself to let Ryuji take care of it, to avoid potential trouble. "Do you want me to report you to my father?" he asked again.

The maid shook her head wildly, looking like she was about to cry. Ruka had to look the other way.

"I see… then you'd better make sure that you do as I say, hadn't you?" Ryuji didn't wait for an answer and went on to point at the messy floor, covered with bloodstains and scattered pieces of metal, those in solid state still resembling tiny  
blades while others were just puddles of hot, liquid metal in the process of  
cooling off. "You see all of that? I want that taken care of. Do what you must, but I don't want _anyone _asking us any questions about what happened here. Ever. Do you understand that?" Ryuji spoke gently now, but rather than giving out a calming air, his voice emanated an even more threatening effect. The maid dared not speak, but she gave a vigorous nod as an answer.

"Good," Ryuji tilted his lips in wry approval. "And don't forget to take care of the pool water as well. I want this place cleaned spotless from any trace of blood."

Ruka watched Ryuji edge towards the door after saying the last sentence. But as he was about to walk past her, his eyes riveted to her and Ruka fearlessly intercepted it. Needless to say, she was ready to counter if her brother was going to shoot another snide remark at Kain. But it seemed that her fortress was built for nothing, because Ryuji just slowed down to a stop in front of her, standing in silence. He merely gave her a studied gaze, which gradually held a hint of sadness the longer he did it.

Ruka's breath caught in her throat. Why was her brother looking at her that way all of a sudden? Had she somehow hurt his feelings by taking Kain's side? She would have been able to handle a rough or even sarcastic line, but not this. Not this strangely wounded, almost anguished regard he was giving her now…

The tangible silence started to lengthen uncomfortably. Ruka was clearly struggling with her indecision, ripped between wanting to ask and not knowing what to say while her brother keep looking at her with his sad azure blue irises.

But the emotional battle in Ruka's eyes was a sufficient reminder for Ryuji that he was currently giving away too much of his feelings. Releasing an inaudible sigh, he promptly allowed his gaze to fall, once again shielding his emotions with an impassive expression as he resumed his steps. He briskly brushed past his confused sister, feeling her eyes fastened onto his back.

Ryuji knew that Ruka's mind was loaded with questions even though she didn't grab the chance to voice them out. It made him relieved because he hadn't planned on letting his feelings show at that moment. No, his dear sister didn't need to know what he'd thought and what he'd felt on knowing that she would undoubtedly turn on him if he stubbornly kept trying to skin her friend alive. She was, after all, slowly and surely losing control at her own game. Oh, Ruka could deny with all her might, of course, that she was just trying to keep herself out of the trouble of the courtship tradition. But he wasn't stupid. He could see that she was playing with fire, and was even starting to get burned without realising it

Ryuji threw another repugnant glance at Kain. Honestly, he didn't know what Ruka saw in this impudent, bronze haired vampire, but he swore to himself that he would never admit him.

Not before he could prove that he was worthy of her.

Keeping his fist clenched tight at his sides, Ryuji left the room.

--

Ruka placed her left palm on the wooden surface of the guestroom door just in time to prevent it from being closed right in her face. She drew another irritated sigh and glanced up at the blood smeared but familiar face whose owner stood tensely by the door, his strained cinnamon eyes showing disapproval, wanting her to just leave him alone.

Like _hell_ she would.

There was no way she was going to conform to his wish when he was nothing but angry with himself for what he had accidentally done to her back at the pool. She was not going to leave him unattended, sitting alone to work through his unnecessary guilt, or worse, if he wasn't strong enough, let himself be consumed by it. That would be the last thing she ever wanted Kain to experience - torn to shreds by his own guilt. She knew all too well what it felt like, being guilty over something. She'd even silently carried one such experience until now and it wasn't a comfortable feeling.

Again, Ruka felt another upsurge of resentment for her brother, for saying such a thing to Kain, affronting him mentally. It was such an unfair trick that Ryuji pulled, shrewdly using an inadvertent mistake to corner her friend. Ruka could see how just a few simple sentences wrecked such extensive damage on Kain as it hit right on his weak spot. He didn't need to tell her how he felt, Ruka could see it well enough.

And she should stop it. She was afraid that Kain would try to punish himself for the mistake that wasn't even his in the first place. Because she was sure of this - if there was something that she had learned about Kain these past few years, it was that he would _never_ wish to hurt her in one way or another. That he would rather hurt himself before that happened.

"Let me in," Ruka demanded in one flat, unarguable tone as she gave a firm push on the door.

Kain scowled heavily at her but he took a step back and let the door open.

Ruka didn't waste any time as she slipped inside, closed the door and locked it firmly behind her. Kain was standing passively in the middle of the room, still looking aggravated and dejected at the same time. He hid both hands inside his bathrobe's pockets, which balled visibly under Ruka's critical observation. An evident sign of distress.

"Would you please stop that?"

Kain shoot her an inquiring look.

"I can see that you're angry at yourself. Stop. It." Ruka said sternly, her hand clutching at the front opening of her own bathrobe. "And stop giving me your silent treatment also, it's annoying." She gave Kain a pointed look, trying to gauge his reaction, wanting him to at least say something, anything, other than being silent. Because it seriously grated on her nerves, the way he had been silent for minutes, since the moment they left the pool together to hurriedly return to his room. She knew that Kain was restless and tense under the tranquil facade he wore, she just didn't understand why he didn't do something to let it out.

Kain took a deep breath. But instead of answering Ruka's words, he turned and steered himself towards the bathroom.

"Akatsuki!" Ruka tailed after him, feeling very much irritated as she glared at his back, if not desperate to get some significant reaction from Kain.

Kain kept routing himself and entered the bathroom. He made a grab for the door.

Ruka didn't have a choice but to use her last resort. The only one she knew Kain couldn't ignore. If this didn't work, she didn't know any better way to get through his apathetic manner. "Akatsuki, _please_..."

Kain froze in midstep the moment he heard what she said and Ruka almost sagged with relief. She stopped a few steps away from him as he stood just right under the bathroom door frame.

"You know what?" Kain began, still looking at the door beside him. His voice was agonizingly quiet and despondent. "Your brother is right. I really _am _a heartless bastard."

Ruka's eyes went wide as she stared at his side profile, words of denial automatically springing from her mouth. "No, you're not! Don't let what my brother's careless words poison your mind. For God's sake, you didn't know, Akatsuki. You _only __didn't know. _It was my fault for not making it clear to you that I'm afraid of water, and −"

"No, it's_ my_ fault, Ruka!" Kain snapped, harshly cutting off Ruka's words as he swung to face her at last. His face contorted in agony as his dam at last broke free. "It really is. I _saw _the way you eyed the water earlier, but I didn't bother to give it any thought. I didn't use my head at all and I put you in danger. If I didn't realize that you were in trouble that first time..." he brought the heel of his left palm to press against his closed eyes as a fine tremor shivered through his body. "God, I almost... almost... made you−" he couldn't finish his sentence as his voice shook and died.

Something inside Ruka's chest started to twist painfully as she heard his terrified words.

_Oh, Akatsuki…_

Ruka never would have thought of someone else being paralyzed with terror at having fallen into the pool. Kain was being trounced by the exact dread too, in addition to his guilt and self-loathing.

She chewed her lower lip now as she approached Kain and his beaten down pose, tugging gently at his raised hand. "Akatsuki, please... look at me," she pleaded in an incredibly soothing voice.

Kain was breathing raggedly, and his body still shaking, but he didn't fight when Ruka dragged his left hand down and covered his hand with her own smaller one. Slowly, he opened his eyes and held her gaze as she requested. Pained and troubled russet meet soft and caring chocolate. "I'm still here," Ruka whispered, her eyes searching his. "I'm still here because_ you_ saved me."

It took a fairly long time before Ruka could see the dawning comprehension in Kain's face. He looked similar to someone who'd just awakened from a hideous nightmare, and very, very relieved to know that it was all just a passing dream.

"I'm glad that you pulled me out of that pool." Ruka continued, still locking gazes with him as she gave his hand a steadfast squeeze. "Not only once but _twice_. And you know what? After what happened, I think I may not be that afraid of the water anymore. Because I believe that no matter how many times I fall into it, as long as you're there, I'll be just fine," she told him convincingly, as honestly as she could. Because that was the simple truth. She trusted Kain would always be the one to save her. And more importantly, it was not solely about being pulled out of the water either.

Kain just stood there stoically, unmoving, as he listened to Ruka's tender and comforting voice, feeling the cold crushing grip of dread around his heart started to loosen the longer she continued to speak to him. He looked straight into her beautiful chocolate eyes, relieved not to find any scorn or hurt residing there despite what he'd done to her. There was only warmth, trust and forgiveness existing in those consoling depths.

"I know that you still feel sorry. But it's enough already. I told you, you didn't do anything wrong. You wouldn't do it intentionally if you've known earlier, I know that. But if it would make you feel better to hear it, then I'll say it." Ruka moved a step closer and snaked her slender arm around his middle. She rested her head against his broad chest, feeling the terrycloth material of his bathrobe soft against her cheek. A combination of the almost medical smell of the chlorinated water on both their skin and hair, and the more appealing scent of Kain's blood from his various cuts surrounded them both, but Ruka distractedly ignored the mingled scents, her whole concentration being preoccupied with the more immediate and delightful sensation… of holding Kain in her arms. Ruka had never before taken the initiative to hug him. In fact, she had always suffered a bad case of awkwardness each time she felt he was too close to her, and more, when he actually touched her. But now as she consciously wrapped her other arm around Kain's strong back, she realized that she should've done this sooner. Holding him. It just felt so right to embrace him like this, to provide him support when he needed it, to do the exact same thing she knew he would do, if she were in his position.

"I forgive you, Akatsuki," she whispered gently, letting her body rest against his.

Kain's eyes went wide as he felt Ruka's body pressed close to his, comforting him, absolving him of all his preconceived sins. He knew he didn't actually deserve to be forgiven so soon for what he'd done, but he couldn't deny that Ruka's gentle words had nonetheless eased his sickening feelings of guilt and self remorse. True, it was still clawing at his insides, but not as severely as before. He instinctively reached out to encircle Ruka's lithe frame with his own arms, feeling her tighten her hold on him even more, breathing in her ever sweet and enchanting scent deeply and gratefully, letting it seep into his system.

Ruka exhaled in relief when she heard Kain's heartbeat slowing down as his ragged breathing and trembling subsided. After a while, she tentatively cocked her head to peer up at him. Kain's deep brown eyes greeted her steadily, and she smiled at him.

"Don't think about it anymore, okay?" Ruka implored lightly.

Kain replied with a measured nod. A small smile drifted onto his lips.

Ruka detached herself and let her hands fall back to her sides when her eyes suddenly snagged onto the scattered blood stains all over Kain's white terrycloth bathrobe.

She joined her fine brows. _Oh, crap…_ She'd temporarily forgotten that Kain was still suffering some injuries from his earlier fight while she'd been so focused on trying to alleviate his emotional state as much as she could.

Ruka inhaled cautiously, all of a sudden very much aware of the presence of a tangy and intoxicating blood scent that circled her. The rich, distinct scent of Kain's blood that she'd long recognized since her childhood days. The scent that always reminded her of exotic spices from unknown lands... warm soothing rain that fell on summer nights... rich aromatic sandalwood she had once come across in a local crafts store… all perfectly blended into a unique scent that was solely Kain Akatsuki.

She swallowed hard, at the same time forcefully suppressing a delicious shudder that threatened to ripple through her body. She realized that her gaze had wandering onto Kain again, and she quickly snatched it back in time as it started to shift course from the blood tainted front of his bathrobe collar to his partially exposed neck underneath it.

"I think −" her voice came out sounding a little husky and she promptly stopped to clear her throat while silently reprimanding herself at the same time. She noted that Kain was now looking at her in a rather perplexed fashion. "I think I'd better leave now. You need to take a shower to clean yourself," she added as she quickly backed off, feeling an abrupt urge to effect a getaway. The sooner the better…

"Ruka?" Kain's voice was puzzled.

Ruka refused to stop, stubbornly heading towards the room door. "Just – just make sure you use warm instead of cold water, okay?"

"Hey, wait…"

A warm hand closed around her right wrist, pulling slightly. Ruka was left with no choice but to stop and turned around, although she did so very reluctantly.

She almost evasively looked away when she realized Kain was now staring down at her with a disturbing curiosity that made her stomach lurch and sharp alarm bells ring somewhere inside her head. There was no doubt at all that Kain knew what she had on her mind. "Ruka, it's…"

"No, stop! You should take a shower now, or you'll regret it, believe me." Ruka cut him off. Her voice came out sounding slightly panicked and she cursed herself mercilessly for that. She desperately tried to tug her hand free. For some reason, she more or less knew what Kain would say if she let him. And for some reason, she didn't want him to say it.

Not yet.

Not now.

"Um... I want to take my shower too, so would you please?" she gestured at her hand, tugging harder, and this time Kain relented. Being freed from his grasp, Ruka couldn't wait to throw herself at the door as soon as possible. She gave Kain a final glance over her shoulder as she wrenched at the door handle… and she jarred to a complete halt.

Seriously now, was that amazement, mixed with the slightest drop of amusement she could see in his eyes?

No, she instantly dismissed her curiosity. Better not ask why Kain was fixing her with that kind of look. Ruka pressed her lips together, pulled at the door and slid out of the room.

--


	12. Heart of a Fool

_**Authors Note:**__ Sorry it took so long to update. But the chapter is ready now, so enjoy! To __**YenGirl,**__ thanks a heap for your help in beta-read this chapter, helping me fix the story here and there and also help me with the verse :) –warm hug−_

_**Disclaimer: **__just keep reminding whoever read this fic that Vampire Knight is not mine! But I do hope I can just have Zero though −snicker−_

_I guess I've always known_

_That you were waiting for me_

_To give my heart to you_

_I know you would truly cherish it_

_Only I realize now I can't_

_Not when it's no longer free_

_And no longer even mine_

_For me to give away_

**Chapter 12. Heart of a Fool**

Kain turned the gleaming chrome faucet on the marble wall to stop the flow of warm water from the shower head pelting down onto his skin. He slowly stepped out of the cubicle and walked over to the bathroom mirror, wiping off the clouding thin sheet of accumulating vapor from its surface to examine his reflection. A frown almost instantly formed between his brows as he gave his reflection a full observation.

Damn… he really didn't look okay. It was strange, but even almost an hour after his fight with Ryuji, his wounds strangely hadn't begun their healing process. All of them were still bleeding, sluggishly and a little at a time, almost as if he'd been hit by hunter weapons instead of ordinary steel blades. The only exception was his broken nose, which had now mended perfectly and as expected.

Hmm, that was weird… Kain eyed his wounds more closely. Actually, other than the bothersome fact that they refused to heal, he was lucky that he hadn't suffered any serious injury. Because the exact moment the blades escaped the protection of his firewall and came in contact with his skin, he was already facing right, preparing to dive into the pool to save Ruka for the second time. Hence, the cuts inflicted by them were mostly shallow ones since they only managed to graze his skin and not directly pierced it.

Kain couldn't imagine though, how severe his injuries would be if all the escaping blades had managed to dig themselves deep into his flesh. Because even now, the small cuts were still bleeding.

Well, there was no doubt that Ryuji really gave it his all in trying to bring him down this time…

Kain shook his head with a woeful sigh, determined not to think any further about Ruka's overprotective brother as he reached for the heap of small, folded white towels lying on a chrome rack high up on one of the tiled walls. He drew the topmost one from the pile, folding it further into a neat rectangle before pressing its soft surface to the three inch long cut at the base of his neck. His expression changed into one of dry amusement as he imagined how Aidou would laugh his ass off if he ever found out that his older cousin had resorted to implementing a human's first aid technique on himself.

Strange… the corner of Kain's lips twitched as he felt a burning sensation arising from the wound, worsening as he put more pressure via the towel to stop the bleeding. It was uncanny, all his cuts were hurting, but not in the usual way. Instead he felt them heating up, almost burning his skin from the inside out.

Yes, that's right… Kain's scowl intensified as he used the back of his left hand to touch his forehead. Heck, now that he seriously paid attention, his whole body was indeed hotter than usual, and he was sure that wasn't just because he'd taken a warm bath. The fact that his body's temperature had risen at all told him that there was something seriously off this time. Kain usually had a very high tolerance for even scorching temperature, it seemed to be something that he possessed, partly due to his own natural ability to manipulate fire.

As a noble born vampire, he had never had a fever before – he'd only heard and read about it. But observing his condition now, he dared to swear that he was having one. The sensation was twice as bad as compared to standing in broad daylight and directly under the sun. Needless to say, Kain was feeling very uncomfortable now.

Staring blankly at the still slightly fogged up mirror, he heaved a sigh. Not that he had a _right_ to protest, though. This was what he'd evoked upon himself, so he would just have to accept its consequences and endure it as best he could. Fortifying himself with this thought, Kain pressed the towel more firmly to the cut, ignoring the screaming pain arising from the increased pressure.

He had just started to grow accustomed to the biting pain and the increasing fire in his body when a knock on the bathroom door startled him.

"Akatsuki, are you done?"

Ruka? She came back? She was in his room?! When… when did this happen?

"A minute," Kain answered as he promptly removed the towel and threw his reflection another scrutiny. He sniffed impatiently as he found the cut still oozing blood relentlessly. So much for using pressure to stem the bleeding – it seemed that human tricks were just useless on vampires.

Leaving the dirty towel by the sink, Kain picked up a clean dark colored shirt and a white undershirt offered by the wooden cabinet below the vanity counter. He moved efficiently, wearing the undershirt first, then the dark one on top, making sure he sent all the buttons home this time, leaving only the one at the shirt collar unbuttoned. Kain knew he would soil both shirts with his blood, but at this moment, he didn't care. Ruka would probably be able to smell it as well but that couldn't be helped. The last thing Kain needed now was for her to actually _see_ his unhealed injuries and worry about them.

Well, although he knew that it was not _entirely_ worry that had resided in her eyes as she hurriedly left his room earlier…

Kain eyed his image in the mirror for the last time, partially satisfied that his undershirt was doing its job in keeping the outer shirt clean. It wouldn't last long, but it was definitely better than nothing. He hid his bleeding left hand inside his trouser pocket before reaching for the doorknob.

Ruka was standing right in front him when Kain stepped out. She looked and smelled as fresh as newly bloomed spring flowers. Her eyes were rapidly drawn to his fully buttoned shirt in a suspicious stare before she stepped back and pointed at his bed. "Take off your shirt, please," she commanded crisply.

Kain froze instantly. _What was that just now? _Was life suddenly having a real good, if misplaced, sense of humor today?_ Ruka_ was indicating his bed and requesting him to _take off_ his clothing at the same time? Kain bit down on his lip hard – he didn't know if he should curse this bittersweet, wonderfully ironic situation, or laugh at it. He knew that Ruka only meant to check his wounds, but it still didn't made her words sound any less alluring. Kain gave the brown haired beauty a long, level look. _You know what, Ruka? Given the right circumstances, I would undoubtedly be very glad to do that just for you. _

"Ruka, are you thinking what I'm thinking here…?" Kain glanced at the bed suggestively, then back at her again. He didn't have many options, so he decided to tease her and see if he could bail himself out of this situation, because he was very much reluctant to comply with her request now.

As he'd predicted, Ruka cheeks colored like a ripe peach left under the sun and she fumbled for words. "That's − that's _not_ what I meant! I mean… I − just want to…" she swallowed and reached for her jeans back pocket, retrieving a small, slim metallic bottle which she shoved under Kain's nose. "This!"

Curious, Kain took the bottle from her hand, still carefully keeping his left hand hidden from view "What's this?"

"Treatment gel."

"Treatment gel? Who... needs treatment?"

Ruka shot him an are-you-that-dumb kind of look. "You, of course! For your wounds. You need to apply this, or you'll be feeling like crap for the next few days!"

Kain gave both Ruka and the bottle in his palm an incessant, speculative look. "And you're going to help me." His sentence come out as a combination of statement and question enriched with the barest hint of restrained interest. He just couldn't completely strip the enthusiasm out of his voice even though he tried. The idea of Ruka using her own hand to treat his wounds was just… so tempting.

_So damn tempting. _

A _priceless _offer, really…

That… he just couldn't take.

"No, thanks. I'll put it on myself." Kain muttered wanly. He just didn't have enough faith in himself. By all means, he had nearly gone past his limits twice even with Ruka not doing anything to him. He didn't dare imagine what would happen if she actually _did_ do something to him, intentionally or otherwise.

Ruka put her right hand on her hip, obviously annoyed by his rejection. "But you also have cuts on your back, don't you?"

"What if I do?" Kain replied indifferently, his mind resolutely against giving Ruka any legal reasons to reiterate her dangerously enticing offer. "Those are just minor cuts. I believe without this… medication, I'll recover just fine."

Ruka pulled out a big sigh, shaking her head slowly. "Let me tell you this, Akatsuki. When I was five years old, I threw myself into one of Ryuji-nii-san and Takehiko-nii-san's more… physical fights. And one of Ryuji-nii-san's created weapons nicked me on the shoulder. It was just a small cut, but I didn't dare tell anyone. If Mother or Father knew that he and Takehiko-nii-san were fighting using their powers and had injured me instead, they would have been punished severely for that. And I love both my brothers, so I hid the fact that I'd been hurt, and as a result, I suffered a high fever for three days straight."

Kain arched his brow, totally unimpressed and stared down at Ruka with a suspicious expression, as if he had just caught her telling a lie. "You're telling me that you got high _fever_ from _a cut_?"

Ruka's lips livened up in a wry smile at Kain's skeptical gaze. "If you think that my brother is just a metal user, you're wrong. Think again." Ruka tipped her head to the side and cast Kain a taxing look. "I assume you're aware of your wounds being unable to heal naturally? Almost like the result of a hunter weapon?"

Oh well… he needn't to have bothered covering up his wounds then since she appeared to be fully aware of the state they were still in... "Well, um, yeah" Kain didn't have a choice but to admit that fact. Ruka was staring at his shirt collar again and he somehow knew that dark colored shirt or not, she must have spotted another darned bloodstain seeping through from one of his wounds.

Not that she actually needed _visual_ evidence to know that he was still bleeding…

Ruka continued. "He is actually a half trickster. Yes, he is able to manipulate metal objects, but he manipulates them while adding a little of his own blood to change its chemical structure, turning the metal into something… poisonous. It's difficult to see it though, since Ryuji does it very quickly. But thanks to it, not only do the wounds take longer to heal, you'll also have a fever within twenty four hours without proper treatment." Ruka ended her explanation and fixed Kain with a very stern look. "Now, let me know if I need to start conjuring up a sensible reason to explain your high fever to my parents or you'll open up your shirt and let me try to help you."

Try to _help?_ Yeah, of course… Kain clenched his jaw tightly. He was facing a major situation here, it seemed. If he chose the first option, it would certainly lead to a different type of trouble. But if he chose the second option, he was already _in_ trouble.

Ruka watched Kain's grim expression, feeling mildly confused. Why was it so hard to just sit down and let someone treat your wounds? Kain acted as if it was a matter of life and death. Really, sometimes Ruka just didn't understand his way of thinking.

"Oh, come on, Akatsuki… seriously, I don't know what you're frightened of!" Ruka's eyes suddenly turned animated, filled with mischief and impish humor. "Or are you afraid I would _bite_ you?"

Kain's breath caught in his throat and he shot Ruka a tart look. That was _so _not funny. What was Ruka actually tried to pull over him? First, the shirt issue. And now the provocative joke about her biting him. Was she really serious about forgiving his earlier mistake?

"What?" Ruka welcomed his venomous glare with her huge, innocent chocolate eyes.

_Damn_ Ruka and her unfitting joke! Thanks to it, Kain was now helplessly trying to chase away the very, very much alive and sultry mental image of Ruka latching herself onto him… her luscious curves pressed deliciously against his body as she fitted her face into the crook of his neck… and sank her fangs deep into his eager flesh…

At that moment, Kain had to give all that he had to suppress the low growl trying to escape his lips. Obviously, she didn't have any idea, did she? No… of course she didn't. She never realized how easy it was for her to drive him crazy with only a few innocuous lines. Well, that was if _crazy_ was still a decent word to define all his random, instant and overly creative imaginations that always involved some scene of him pinning Ruka down against the…

See? He _was_ losing his mind. That would be the only logical explanation available. Because there was no way someone mentally healthy would think that way about a friend.

"Never mind." Kain sighed in a defeated tone as he dropped himself onto the mattress, and started to undo his shirt.

"Give me that. I'll help you," Ruka stretched out her hand as she sat on her knees on the bed in front of Kain, indicating the bottle in his hand. His left finger stopped at his third button and he gave Ruka a disbelieving look. Now she was going to help him do his front too? Didn't she mention just his _back_ a moment ago?

"Akatsuki?" Ruka tilted her brow and kept her palm up. Kain closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. He dropped the bottle onto Ruka's hand. _Whatever_. He was neck deep in trouble anyway, so he might as well let Ruka have all the fun, right?

Ruka accepted the bottle while she watched Kain continue to work at the shirt buttons with his lean fingers. Actually, she didn't mean to stare at him. Besides, staring at a stripping male - vampire or not − was an indecent act, especially for a noble born lady like her. But as Kain's shirt parted and he shrugged it off, Ruka found that she just couldn't tear her eyes away from his undershirt – the pristine white cotton was now speckled with dark red spots.

"Oh...!" The word slid out of her lips as a half whisper and half gasp, color draining from her face.

_Damn!_ Kain cursed under his breath, aware of Ruka's pallid expression. "I knew this was a bad idea." He grabbed his shirt, snatched the gel from Ruka's hand and swung down from the bed.

Ruka's hand raced to grab Kain's left hand. "No, wait!"

A sharp intake of breath was followed by a light involuntary jerk of his hand as Kain felt Ruka's nail accidentally but painfully scraping the open wound on his palm. His reaction inevitably drew Ruka's attention and he saw her eyes coast down to their joined hands. The girl carved a deep frown between her brows and took a step closer, flipping his hand palm up.

Another soft gasp sounded from Ruka. She was clearly taken by surprise at the sight of two horizontal, deep and unhealed cuts on Kain's left palm, sustained when he captured Ryuji's sword in his hand earlier. Ruka might have been forgotten about it or hadn't expected to find the injury this bad but she volunteered no comments as she observed his wound now. Kain was only aware that with each passing second, there was growing expression of guilt and pain etched on her beautiful feature.

"You're making that kind of face again," Kain muttered in a mildly disgruntled note. He hated it when Ruka looked like that, and he hated it even more knowing he had caused it. There was a long moment of silence as Ruka ignored Kain's remark. She just stood there unmoving, cupping his wounded hand in her palms with the utmost care and staring at it in despair as if holding a prized possession that she had suddenly found broken beyond repair.

Finally, Kain couldn't wait for her response anymore. He dropped his shirt and the treatment gel onto the bed and placed his now free hand to cover hers, trying to convince her. "Ruka, it's okay. I'm okay, really..."

Ruka lifted her head to scowl at him, looking irritated at his remark. Wordlessly, she pulled him to sit back on the bed. She released Kain's hand to reach for the gel and uncapped the container. "You know," she started slowly as she once again took his injured hand and started to very, very gently apply some of the gel onto the cuts. Kain tensed up involuntarily, expecting some pain from the contact. But he soon found out that it didn't come. Instead of pain, there was only a cool and soothing sensation from the gel as Ruka's gentle fingers lightly stroked over the cuts. He could also see that the gel was working wonders on his wounds, instantly stopping the blood from oozing out and lessening the fiery sensation on the spot.

"Actually, I wanted to tell you…" Ruka continued to speak, in a deliberately unhurried tone as she applied more gel on Kain's index finger. "Back in my room, when you darned cut me off even before I finished − No, please don't cut me off again," she raised her palm in front of Kain when she saw him about to say something, making him swallow his own words. "That is, when you mentioned to me that you're no saint... um, I think…" Ruka stopped her movements and peered up to Kain, meeting his uptight gaze. "I think that's quite… okay and… I don't really mind that," she breathed out in a soft tone.

Kain's eyes went wide. "What…?"

Ruka shrugged offhandedly as she suddenly felt nervous under Kain's half shocked, half disconcerted gaze. She shifted her gaze back to his hand, picking up where she'd left off previously. "You heard me. I really don't mind it. In truth, I–" she half rose on her knees now, having finished with his hand. "Um… remove your shirt please."

Kain was too dumbfounded to actually respond to Ruka's request. His brain was busy registering what she'd just told him while question after question raced through his mind at the same time. Ruka… _honestly_ didn't mind him overstepping? But _why_? He thought that she wasn't comfortable whenever he was physically too close to her. No, he was sure that she didn't like him being too close to her - Kain still recalled the time when she had cringed and looked like a trapped fawn by a mere hand holding act. Even until two hours ago, she still acted in a rather awkward way the moment he inched closer to take a peek at her homework.

"Akatsuki, did you hear me? Remove yo−"

"Why?"

"_Why_?" Ruka echoed, frowning. "I thought we agreed that I would apply this gel on you? How can I do it if you don't take your shirt off?"

Kain made an impatient noise at Ruka's words and tugged the undershirt over his head in one irritated movement. "Not that, Ruka!" he scoffed at her, flinging the stained cotton shirt onto the floor so that the blood wouldn't stain the bed covers. He didn't really care anymore about the whole medication business. He only wanted for Ruka to stop whining and give him a proper explanation for her statement. "I mean, why don't you mind me being…" he trailed off uncertainly.

Ruka fell silent. How could she make him understand this? She knew that what she'd said to him more or less sounded odd. She was sure he would perceive it as odd, of course, because despite her sincere words, they both knew that she still wasn't used to him being too near her, especially when there was physical contact involved. But despite that, she wanted to tell him that she didn't mind. Because that was the simple truth. Aside from her own discomfort, Ruka simply didn't mind for Kain to have his own way this time.

However, if Kain asked her _why,_ she couldn't exactly explain the main reason. There were too many… like maybe how she couldn't stand to see him blaming himself for her negative reactions all this while, maybe because she knew that Kain had already done so much for her, given her so much. Or maybe because he'd always provided her with his protection, his support, his understanding and now, even taking up extra responsibilities that weren't even his in the first place. Maybe because she knew Kain had always bent over backwards for her... oh wait, _that_ was it.

It was because he always had so many considerations for her. Big and small considerations that more often than not, overrode his own needs. Even the injuries he was suffering now… they were due to the simple fact that he was aware of how she would feel if he fought Ryuji back with all that he had and seriously injured the older vampire. She didn't need to ask him to confirm this fact. She could see that he was evidently straining himself against her brother. Put simply, Kain was hesitant because of _her_.

That made Ruka realize that it was one thing she didn't need from Kain. She didn't need him to give her feelings that much regard, even to the extent of... of... sacrificing... himself. No, he shouldn't do that. He shouldn't feel responsible for her every emotion, for heaven's sake. As much as she appreciated him doing that, it would be better if he didn't.

That was why she was now resolved in telling him this. It was the best thing she could offer to the bronze haired aristocrat, as a tribute for the many things that he'd sincerely done for her. Ruka decided that she would tell him what was in her mind now and free him from being overly liable about her, for his own good.

She took a deep breath and met him in the eye. "Because… that's a fact," she said softly. "I honestly don't mind, Akatsuki." Ruka sighed when Kain continued to stare at her in total bewilderment. "Look, I – I've been thinking," she broke off as she weighed Kain's reaction.

He shot her a nervous look. "About... what?" he asked her cautiously.

"About you, and how you always follow what I want and what I wish for, even when I haven't voiced it out yet," Ruka continued with the same soft tone, her eyes searching his. "Like when you said that you should feel sorry for your actions, because you thought that they had bothered me. Now that I reflect on it, I think it's not right for you to always pay so much attention to my every wish."

Kain paid her a puzzled look, a fine line formed between his brows. "I don't understand you. So what do you want from me?"

Ruka gave a small smile at Kain's question - he still hadn't caught the point of their conversation. "Akatsuki, it's not what _I_ want from you. But rather, it's what _you_ want for yourself." She sighed again and directed her eyes over to the crisscrossed cut wounds on his chest with a grim expression. "I mean… look at all these wounds you got from too much of consideration for me."

Kain opened his mouth instantly, but Ruka's hands rose to prevent him speaking out his almost predictable denial. "No, don't try to say that you're not. I just started to know your way of thinking, okay? If you didn't care about how I would feel, you would've skinned Ryuji-nii-san easily. But you didn't do it. You hesitated because of me," Ruka slim fingers unconsciously tightened around the gel bottle in her palm while her eyes went back to his, locking their gaze steadily.

"You should stop that, Akatsuki." Ruka shook her head dolefully. "I don't need you to keep asking, or guessing, about what I want and what I don't want. That's why I said that I don't mind for you to have your own way, to do whatever you like. You should have your own free will and stop worrying about how I might feel over your actions. You don't need to hold yourself back so much from me. It's only fair for you this way because I'm the one who dragged you into this fiasco and I've caused you too much trouble already."

"Fair…" Kain murmured incredulously, trying to digest everything that Ruka had just said. But a second later his gaze turned stormy as the actual meaning of her words sank in. "_Fair?_" he repeated the word in an audibly angry voice. "I can't _believe_ you're saying this. Why do you think I'm helping you, Ruka? So I can get some _advantage_ over you for myself? I don't need that kind of _recoup!_."

Ruka was at a loss for words as Kain unleashed his heated outburst – she never expected that he would react in this manner. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, but no words came out and she finally dropped her gaze dispiritedly.

Kain raked his fingers exasperatedly through his damp bronze curls as he took in Ruka's shocked, then dejected expression. Oh _hell_… he was just scaring her. But he was so incensed to hear all her babbling about it being fair or not. Didn't she know that he was sincere in helping her? He didn't want Ruka to think that she owed him anything... But then again, she already did. And she would keep thinking that way − that she owed him − if he rejected her request now.

Kain had never rejected any of Ruka's requests before, however absurd they may have been. But this time he was in two minds. Ruka was going to release him of his… moral liability. This signified that he could do anything he wanted to do and walk away without having to provide any sort of explanation for his behavior. He gave an involuntary shudder at the idea. It sounded too terrifying − in fact, it sounded like something _only_ _Kaname_ should have.

Kain took a deep steadying breath, recognizing the beginnings of another inner battle. What should he do now?

"Ruka, do you truthfully believe that it's better for me to act selfishly?" he asked her disbelievingly.

Ruka's head shot up. "I didn't use the word _selfish_."

"But your description sounded selfish to me!"

"No, it's different!"

"Oh, whatever!"

They both fell silent for half a minute.

Finally, Ruka spoke hesitantly, "Does this mean that... you won't...?"

Yes, Kain wanted to say that he wouldn't do it. Ever. But looking at her now, he recalled her expression was an exact image of how she had looked before, when she had been afraid that he wouldn't help her with her little game…

And his pitiful determination wavered. Kain sighed and shook his head slowly. Pathetic. He just couldn't say no to Ruka, no, not even once. "I'm not saying that I won't. I'll think about it first, okay?" Kain cast her a stern gaze.

Ruka scowled heavily at his answer. It never crossed her mind that Kain would think twice or even had a qualm over the subject she presented. Perhaps she was just so used to having Kain eagerly complying to her every wish, that she found a reluctant version of him quite difficult to swallow. "Uh… if you say so… fine then," she finally said, not quite able to mask the hint of disappointment in her voice.

Worried that Kain would once again put another bout of protests on her, she quickly coerced a change of topic before he could produce any reply. "Now, let's take care of your wounds before the poison spreads any further." she said, trying sound a matter of fact as she adjusted her position and reached up to bring a tiny drop of antidote gel to the stretched wound on Kain's neck.

Ruka's index finger was only a couple of inches away from Kain when she saw him tensed up visibly, and she halted. Peering up at him, she was a little startled to find a streak of fear mirrored in his eyes. "Hey, it's okay… I promise I'll try not to make it hurt too much." And here she was thinking how brave he was in receiving that tattoo on Aidou's behalf… Ruka resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

Despite his edgy state, Kain felt an abrupt urge to smirk at Ruka's line. She thought he was afraid that his wounds would _hurt_ more. Oh, if she only knew _what_ he truly feared…

"Okay" he murmured. With a great effort, Kain compelled his body to relax as Ruka's gentle fingers began to nurse him.

But it was still no use – he was still affected by her touch, and stronger than before. He could feel Ruka's fingertip caressing his heated skin as she covered the cut with the cool gel. Kain could tell she was holding onto her earlier promise in trying not to cause more hurt, and that made it even worse because her touch now was feather light, and it… almost felt… like… she was ... teasing… him. This was bad. _Very bad_. Kain's heartbeat skyrocketed in nothing flat and his breathing grew heavy and agitated.

_Oh please, do something, stupid! _Kain silently lashed at himself as he once again tried to calm himself. He desperately threw his gaze all around his room, trying to search for something that he could use to occupy his attention so that he couldn't focus his seriously depraved mind solely on Ruka's gentle touch and the feel of her shy fingers now lightly traveling down his bare chest. But of course, as predicted, he couldn't find anything worthy of a distraction. Finally Kain gave up, hoping fervently that Ruka, who was now leisurely taking her time working at the wound on his stomach, would quickly finish her ministrations.

_Someone, help me please…!_ This was such sweet torture... Kain unconsciously grabbed a fistful of the bed covers in his right hand as he flicked a goaded glance at Ruka. She certainly could be so oblivious and so at ease sometimes…

Or not…

Kain arched his eyebrows as he focused his attention on Ruka. Most people would probably only perceive a vampire beauty concentrating on taking care of someone else's injury. But Kain knew better − he'd known Ruka for years − and regardless of her placid front, she wasn't all that calm and collected on the inside. He could actually see some proof that she was currently _trying_ to stay calm.

One of the evidence was her eye color. It didn't turn entirely red, but there was definitely a little change in its hue as she intently locked her gaze on one of his cuts. And Kain was also aware of her breathing being deeper and slower than usual. She looked exactly like when he'd impeded her from leaving his room earlier. Yes, he had no doubt as to what was affecting her now - his tantalizing blood scent. Kain's lips twisted upwards, glad to know that they actually had a double-edged situation going on here.

"Hey, Ruka..."

Ruka jerked a little but kept her face impassive as she continued her task. "…Yeah…?"

"You can... do it if you want to, you know."

Ruka's head shot up, giving him a surprised look – she understood perfectly what Kain was talking about and her cheeks flamed instantly as she snatched her fingers off his skin. If anything, what he had just said was the last thing she thought she would ever hear. She never expected herself to be caught off-guard, clipped right in the middle of her half dazed entrapment over the sight and scent of Kain's blood, just when she was _certain_ that she'd made no obvious signs of what was currently flipping through her mind.

This was so unfair… how could Kain read her like an open book? Or… had her body betrayed her? Ruka pressed her lips tightly together and briefly ran her tongue over her upper teeth. No, her fangs hadn't even started to lengthen. But wait, maybe her eyes had changed color? Was it still possible even though she had taken enough blood tablets before she left her room earlier?

Oh, this was _so embarrassing!_

Straightening herself, Ruka managed a strained chuckle. "Geez, Akatsuki. You know that I was just kidding when−"

"But I'm not."

Ruka stared at him open-mouthed for a few seconds in complete bafflement before her expression rapidly changed into a mix of mortification and displeasure. "What!?" She shot Kain an indignant look. "No, don't say anything again. Just − just drop it!"

"Ruka…"

"Akatsuki, I mean it! I. _Mean_. It. Okay? You don't have to suddenly feel obliged to offer just because you think that you have made me −"

"Who's feeling obliged?" Kain gave a small, wry snort, making Ruka falter in her mid-sentence. "So much for saying that I could do whatever I feel like…"

Ruka's eyes widened. "You − you really want me to… take your blood?" she asked in a barely whispered voice. It was actually a redundant question. Because even though Kain only gazed down at her silently upon hearing her inquiry, Ruka could already see his answer written in his velvety brown eyes.

God, he was _serious_…

Her throat suddenly felt very dry. "But it's too… too…"

"Intimate?" Kain finished for her quietly, reading her thoughts.

Ruka gave a weak nod. "Y−Yeah. And besides," she paused, her expression suddenly turned solemn, almost sad. "I don't want you to – to be like me. To go what I've been through. It wouldn't be fair for you. You might not know this, but I do." Her voice trembled ever so slightly and she let her gaze drop to her entwined hands now resting on her lap. "Once it's done, it wouldn't simply stop there. You will always long for a chance to have your blood taken again by that same person and when it doesn't happen you'll just... just −" she stopped. She had to stop − it was just too painful to continue.

Ruka might have lied to everyone about her throwing away every feeling she had for Kaname. But she couldn't lie to herself while she reasoned with Kain, because she automatically recalled the time Kaname had rejected her and she remembered the bitter disappointment and agony she felt then, that until this very second hadn't fully dissipated

Ruka knew she was a fool. She knew that Kaname was only using her to protect Yuuki − there was no need for someone else to confirm this for her. Besides, she had seen Yuuki waiting for him at the old moon dorm that night. Ruka didn't need anyone to complete this puzzle for her. Yes, she had known the reason why, yet it hadn't thwarted her from trying to offer her blood for Kaname the second time. _She just couldn't help it._

Oh, how she wished that Kaname had never bitten her at all... then she wouldn't be this hurt, and it wouldn't be so hard trying to forget him. Even now.

Tears were suddenly pricking at the backs of her eyes and Ruka blinked hard, trying to keep them from falling. But it was too late. Feeling the first warm drop on her cheek, she quickly lowered her head and scooted away, sliding off the bed before Kain could see what was happening. "Ah, I'm sorry, I need to use the bath..."

Ruka never finished her words. She didn't even time to think or to react when Kain's left hand seized her right wrist, tugging firmly on it while his other hand curled around the back of her neck in one swift, smooth maneuver, compelling her body towards him. She could only fight for balance and had barely shored her free hand on Kain's right shoulder when something warm, moist and soft met her lips.

Her eyes widened in belated realization and shock.

Kain was _kissing_ her. His lips were sliding against hers in light, slow and unbelievably sweet caresses.

Ruka's world suddenly started revolving in slow motion. Her whole attention seemed to be centered solely on Kain, and she was lost the moment his lips touched hers. Warm tears spilled out of her lidded, hazy eyes, but she couldn't even think why anymore. It was similar to the time he was angry and had gone physical on her inside his room, after her inauspicious announcement, like when he had almost kissed her outside her bedroom door after their first date. All she could see now was Kain. All she could breathe now was his alluring scent. And all she could feel was his gentle lips cherishing her own. Chaste as it was, the kiss still managed to steal all her strength, making her legs weak.

Ruka started to feel the floor below her feet tip threateningly to one side as her heartbeat shot right off the scale. The sensation was literally too much to handle and a swell of irrational panic claimed her. Uttering an audible gasp, Ruka gave a reflexive push at Kain's shoulder, trying to withdraw herself.

Kain sensed Ruka's resistance and promptly broke off the kiss but refused to release her completely. He ignored the biting pain on his wounded left palm as he kept Ruka's wrist firmly trapped in his hand. Kain leaned forward to touch his forehead to hers, letting their warm breath mingle between them.

"Isn't it enough already, Ruka?" he inquired, slightly breathless from the kiss. His voice emerged whisper-like, low but soft with an underlying sad note in it. "For years... I've seen you yearn over him for years. I know he always made you feel sad." Kain placed a silencing finger on Ruka's lips for a moment as he saw her about to speak. Then his thumb rose to catch the remnant of tears from her flushed cheek, feeling a familiar ache tearing him apart as he did so.

"This is not the first time I've seen you cry for him. I know you were also crying that morning when I found you in our dorm's garden. Don't you know, Ruka? It always pains me to see you sad," Kain actually had to pause as the ache inside him turned unbearable. He closed his eyes for a brief moment. "Please, enough… Didn't you say that you had learned to let it go?"

Ruka couldn't speak, her throat was feeling so tight. She could feel Kain's anguished eyes on hers, but she didn't dare to accept his look and pointed her own gaze downwards, feeling his fingers tangle in her hair, threading through the silky, tumbling waves.

"I would do _anything _to help you forget about him if you'd only ask." Kain spoke again, his voice hard now, mirroring the emotional turmoil churning inside him. "Just tell me and I _swear_ I would do it, Ruka. Please, give my words some thought…"

Ruka opened her mouth to try to reply again, but it seemed that Kain didn't need her answer now. He just slowly pulled her to sit on the edge of the bed before releasing her and picking up both his shirts along with the bottle of gel lying on the bed. Kain walked to the door, turning his back on her as he spoke again. "I'm sorry if I shocked you." His voice was soft again… even apologetic. Placing his hand on the door knob, he pulled the door open and left her.

--o--


	13. Two Perspectives

**Author notes:** Things are getting confusing for both our hero and heroine, but promise soon they will find a way to sort things out… and readers, feel free to drop me your comments, would you? :)

Thank you for **YenGirl** who had taken much time out even at her busy schedule in helping me beta this chapter. I appreciate that very much, dear… What would I do without you? :)

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino, not me.

* * *

_We are but two young souls_

_In search of ourselves_

_Our hearts painted white_

_Our minds tinted green_

_Blind to the truth_

_Lying to each other_

_Still… between us,_

_we never ceased to believe._

**Chapter 13. True Perspectives**

Kain tossed the bottle of treatment gel carelessly onto the ground before dropping himself onto a patch of thick, freshly mown grass behind verdant rows of multiple color hybrid tea rose bushes. He purposefully picked an exact spot where the bush branches intertwined with each other, almost forming a thorny, leafy canopy above him. The wounds on Kain's back stung a little as he lay down, but he decided that he would just ignore them. They could wait a while…

Kain adjusted himself to find a more comfortable position on the grass bed, relieved to find that the plantation completely hid his figure from passers-by − even though he doubted there would be any in the garden right now. Besides, he had carefully chosen the most secluded area of the expansive garden, one that bordered a small area of woods within the Souen's family homestead. He wanted to have some quiet time alone to think. To clear his head and judge himself on what he'd just done.

Honestly, it wasn't an easy task, since Kain found he was practically felt numb. From the moment he left his room to give Ruka some space, he'd forced himself to think only of two things – first, which was the most convenient way out of the house and second, where could he hide – the more deserted the better. Kain knew that he had to escape for a while, rather than remain inside the house like an idiot waiting to be found out by any of the Souen family members. He had enough problems of his own − thank you very much − without courting the additional trouble of being spotted sauntering around the house while carrying a highly inviting scent of blood from his wounds.

After flipping through his limited options quickly, Kain chose to use the back stairs to the ground floor rather than the grand staircase to lower his chance of being sighted. But as he cautiously descended the last step, he realized something that made him stop in his tracks. He'd forgotten that the back stairs led right to the kitchen area. And it was just before lunch time. Undoubtedly, the cooks and their assistants would definitely be crowding the kitchen now preparing the meal. This meant that Kain couldn't make use of the door at the back of kitchen that opened out into the garden, the one he knew was there from his few visits here years ago.

He'd almost given up before his desperate brain unexpectedly egged an idea. Not a really bright design, but certainly one that would have made himself smirk if he weren't in such a dire situation.

So, following the idea, Kain just waited for the perfect time and stepped up to the kitchen entrance. He only needed to flick his gaze over one of the many lit stoves that had something cooking on its top and left momentarily unattended… then _voila_ he was already out in the garden, leaving behind a minor commotion in the kitchen as both cooks and helpers ran and screamed in panic, trying to put out a raging fire that had unexpectedly appeared on one of the stoves, causing the contents of the pot on it to bubble out. No one paid any attention to Kain as he quickly snuck out, the strong scent of spilt food burning on the stove helping to mask his blood scent.

But that was quite twenty minutes ago. Now as Kain calmly lay in the dark surroundings of the garden and tried to analyze his own feelings, he found that he couldn't, as he was still numb. Well, maybe he was shocked more than he initially guessed himself to be. The only thing that was still consciously working in him was his sad brain that had been yelling incessant reproaches at him from the moment he stepped out of his bedroom. That now stood unyielding on its ground, in complete disagreement to what he'd just done to Ruka…

_Kissing her. _

Kain heaved a deep sigh. Oh God, did he really do that to her? What kind of a man was he to force a kiss on a crying girl? Not to mention the fact that he was the one who had indirectly made Ruka cry. He had been a moment too late in realizing that he shouldn't have brought up the subject of blood drinking in the first place. He shouldn't have reminded her of the not so pleasant experience she had had from Kaname. Kain didn't know how he could be so insensitive, feigning ignorance on how Ruka would feel over the idea of drinking his blood. Such a thoughtless, _stupid_ thing to mention.

If only he had spared himself an extra thirty seconds or so to think before speaking, surely things would have turned out differently. But no, he was too shamefully enthusiastic over the idea of Ruka being affected by the scent of his blood, and by the prospect of offering her to take it. He hadn't bothered to use his head to do some quick thinking on the actual effect of such an offer would have on her.

Kain closed his eyes resignedly, letting the cool night wind play with his brown curls. It definitely wasn't the first time he had done something unarguably dumb in the subject of his attitude towards Ruka, but this time was certainly the worst. Never mind that he'd always seen himself as someone who possessed a more than adequate amount of self-control and a clear, analytical head. Kain couldn't explain even to himself why or when he'd started to act like a totally different person, so far off from his considered normal behavior. He even made Ruka confused at his unexpected moves that had occurred at equally unexpected times.

The only thing that Kain did know was that he couldn't stand the sight of Ruka crying, knowing what she felt and who had filled her thoughts at that moment. And in those few, short seconds, as he read her troubled expression and witnessed the first teardrop sliding down her cheek, he had instantly felt enraged. The feelings of anger and loathing were so intense Kain actually wanted to combust something up. He literally wanted to _scorch_ alive the person who had piled so much misery on the only girl he deeply cared for.

Yes, for the first time Kain felt a strong resentment that wasn't being addressed towards himself, but at _him_. At _Kaname Kuran_. Because he knew the pureblood was the one who had hurt Ruka.

Kain also realized − even as he acknowledged the surge of spontaneous, negative emotion inside his chest − that he shouldn't feel this way about Kaname. The pureblood was, after all, his revered leader, unquestionably the one who had earned his total respect and loyalty for years. He didn't need to be told that it was also considered highly disrespectful to hold something against a pureblood, any pureblood. Still, Kain couldn't help seething inside. And it didn't matter that his unbidden feelings only lasted for a few seconds, dismissed almost as soon as they surfaced, it still deeply surprised him that he could feel that way towards Kaname.

One thing that really triggered Kain's blood to boil was the realization that Kaname was aware of how seriously Ruka kept her ardor for him. Yet, the knowledge didn't prevent the pureblood from taking her blood and leaving her in despair. It was a very cruel and ruthless act to deliver. Kain knew he might never understand why Kaname had done such thing to Ruka. The pureblood had his own motive, as far as Kain knew, and it would never be within his right to question him on this subject. But in his eyes, it was also indisputable that what Kaname did earned no favours for Ruka. The pureblood had only presented her with false hope, by taking her blood. And in the end, it only fueled her longing for his affection even more.

Kain recalled now that as he saw Ruka swiftly getting up from the bed, he was assailed with feelings of anger, confusion and guilt, all swirling uncontrollably inside his head. Ruka was trying to get away. Detaching herself from him. Suffering alone… That had tugged so strongly at something deep inside of him and in that split second, his self control slackened. Kain couldn't stop himself from reaching out his hand to snatch at Ruka's arm, pulling her back to him. Because he would be damned if he just let her slip away to deal with her pain all by herself. No, he wouldn't just stand and let it happen. Not when he could do something. Not when he finally had the chance to.

So Kain made up his mind. Still sitting on the bed, he quickly yanked Ruka close, forcing her to bend towards him before covering her lips with his own. He had to do that. It was the only thing he could think of at that moment to stop her from crying. Because he wanted her to know that she wasn't alone, that he was there. For her. And because he didn't want her to _ever_ think about the pureblood again in his presence.

Kain had meant for his kiss to be quick. It would be easy to just give Ruka a light and brief one that sufficiently served to distract her. It would be even better if he could also make it completely impersonal.

How _wrong_ he was.

Apparently he had still not yet learned his two lessons well and inevitably repeated his past mistakes, because from the moment his lips touched hers, Kain was lost. Ruka tasted so sweet, so pure… elusive yet captivating. She tasted like nothing Kain ever tasted before, and his intended short and impersonal kiss turned into a lingering one that was anything but impersonal. He wanted to have more of her, but the recognition of faint sadness, pain, and bitterness underlying her indescribable flavor prevented him from doing so. Not without difficulty, of course, especially when he started to sense a tinge of astonishment and elation replacing her earlier melancholy. It was evidence enough that Ruka was affected by his kiss − in one way or another, and to a certain degree. And it was even more maddening for Kain when he was fully aware of how her formerly rigid body under his firm, trapping grasp began to relax considerably, making it even harder for his kiss to remain chaste.

The heady feelings of need reigning inside him made him extremely reluctant to let go of Ruka when she finally began to push against him, wanting to free herself. Kain's senses automatically started screaming commands at him to keep her trapped within his embrace − even if it was for just a little longer − clashing with his natural deep-rooted habit of submitting to Ruka's every wish. Confused, Kain had almost given up and followed his own wishes when his keen nose picked up the scent of salt and that made him pause. The scent was a strong reminder of what state Ruka had been a moment ago and it made his heated blood freeze with cold dread instantly. God only knew whether the tears that still clung to her soft, flushed skin were merely remnants from before or fresh drops that his kiss had caused her to shed.

With that mortifying thought filling his mind, he withdrew at once, his brain forming countless words of apology. But the words never left his lips as he opened his eyes to look into her shy ones. Into those cloudy amber depths that held a mixture of mild confusion, persistent shock and palpable desire. Her unshielded expression told Kain that yes, what he did stunned her, but she reveled in it all the same. There was certainly no anger or blame towards him at all…

A little shaken by the sheer relief coursing through his body, Kain had leaned forward, touching his forehead to hers. He was more than grateful that Ruka didn't appear to need any words of apology. So instead of apologizing, Kain took a deep, steadying breath and imparted the very thing he'd always longed to say each time he knew that Ruka had once again wept on Kaname's account.

It took every ounce of his resoluteness and courage to say those things to Ruka, as he told her that he would readily do anything to help her. Even if it meant putting himself at various risks. Yes, he realized that much. But still, he didn't know if he'd done things right or not by telling Ruka his intentions. What if she now _hated_ him because he had meddled too much in her affairs?

A faint sound of someone walking on the grassy pathway broke Kain's deep contemplation and he automatically tuned his attention to the steady, approaching footsteps. It was a male, he could tell, from the muffled but distinct sound that the wearer of those shoes made on the grass. But certainly not the gardener, he concluded. He recalled the gardener as having an elephant built, while this uninvited visitor's steps were considerably lighter in comparison.

Kain opened his eyes but made no other movement, still deciding if he should reveal himself or not. Maybe he should. Because any normal vampire who walked past him would certainly pick up his blood scent in the air and become suspicious. Again, he regretted not having an opportunity to wash himself off. But that just couldn't be helped since he had no other options open to him at that time.

Now Kain simply hoped that the approaching person would ignore him because he really didn't feel like greeting anybody right now. He was tired. And wanted to continue lying there, under the privacy of the rose bushes with its heady fragrance of their blooms surrounding him, and the cool drift of breeze that played over his heated skin felt so comfortable and relaxing. Already making up his mind, Kain kept himself motionless, hoping that he could be spared unnoticed.

No such luck.

The steps slowed down and stopped about six feet away from Kain, only separated by lush rows of greenery. "Pardon me, is someone here?" asked a baritone, velvety male voice.

Kain wanted to curse. The softly worded enquiry left him with no choice but to show himself now.

Moving carefully so that he wouldn't get caught by any undetected thorns on the rose bushes on either side of him, Kain slowly got to his feet − brushing off bits of drying grass and leaves that clung on his shirt and hair before he greeted the speaker. It appeared that his uninvited guest was the third son of the Souen family.

"Takehiko-san." Kain murmured his acknowledgement, a little startled to find the casually dressed auburn haired aristocrat standing in the darkened surrounding, carrying a bunch of freshly picked red roses in the crook of his right arm. The red roses looking almost maroon under the scarce lighting of the garden.

Takehiko let the puzzlement show in his emerald eyes, one dark brow raised. "Akatsuki-san? Why are you... lying... here? Are you okay...?" he asked as his eyes dropped to scan Kain's condition, making the tall noble shift uncomfortably from one foot to another. Takehiko's behavior suggested that he had noticed the smell of blood and was quick to assume that the younger vampire was somehow injured and therefore lying or resting on the ground.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," Kain nodded hastily, feeling a little awkward under Takehiko's somewhat very intense and penetrating eyes. It looked like he was facing a real sharp observer here. Still, Kain couldn't help but wonder if that was his normal attitude or caused by the influence of the heady scent of his blood that still hung in the air… Kain tried to suppress a spontaneous shudder at the repellent thought. "Just... taking a nap. It's quiet here," he automatically made up a convenient lie while fighting the instinctive urge to get away.

Takehiko gave him an unreadable look that Kain dared to bet concealed a calculating gaze. He could feel that the dark haired aristocrat was curious and doubted the answer he got even though he reined himself from voicing it out. "Oh, I'm so sorry to disturb you then." He gave an apologetic reply. "Are our maids' hectic preparations bothering you? I can instruct them to..."

"Oh no, no need to do that," Kain shook his head slowly, suddenly a little curious at Takehiko's answer. Preparations? What _preparations?_ Did this have something to do with his fabricated incident in the kitchen earlier? Kain frowned, wanting to know but hesitant to ask, because the longer he was having a conversation with this particular brother of Ruka, the more uncomfortable he felt since Takehiko had continued to keep his unusual, almost hypnotic jade-like eyes on him all this while. Kain simply wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible. "I just like it here," he explained, his eyes moving involuntarily and taking in the surroundings to break their eye contact as well as accentuate what he'd just said.

If there were any of Kain's words that sounded strange to Takehiko, he certainly didn't show it. He only gave a small, understanding smile upon hearing the answer. "I see. But you should be careful of the rose bushes' thorns. They tend to have a wicked attitude and love to catch you at the most unexpected moment."

Kain almost narrowed his eyes - was that a trick line? "You're right, Takehiko-san. I think I caught one already… earlier"

"Yes, I noticed that." Takehiko nodded briefly, green crystalline eyes under dark and thick lashes locking firmly upon the taller vampire's figure as he continued his silent, but open surveillance. He looked strangely attentive, yet distracted at the same time.

Kain shifted on his feet again, planting both his hands deep in his pockets. There was no doubt at all that this talk he was having with Takehiko now could fall right into the category of the strangest conversations he had ever had in his life. Kain was certain that Takehiko was far too intelligent to believe that a mere scratch from a thorn could cause his body to reek with such a strong scent of blood. So Takehiko's decision to not oppose what he had said was quite intriguing.

Well, unless the older aristocrat actually thought that Kain had somehow accidentally tripped himself right into a dense and extremely thorny rose bush and had to struggle out unaided…

A long pause dragged itself out between them and Kain used it to take his turn to examine his chat partner. Again, his eyes were quickly enchanted by the beautiful, delicate roses resting in the crook of Takehiko's arm. He had to say that it was such a stark contrast with the vampire's overall attitude. Kain could sense after they exchanged a couple of words together, that the aristocrat brought with him a well suppressed rebellious, even almost dangerous air, although it was well hidden behind the mask of his mostly impassive expression and the gentle lines of his physical appearance.

As if realizing at last that he was also being stared at, Takehiko waved a hand over the roses. "For my wife," he said in a nonchalant note, and before Kain could say anything in return, he quickly continued. "Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Would you please help me with those roses over there?" he pointed over a cluster of fully bloomed yellow-red tearoses right behind where Kain was standing. "I need to make this twenty four in number."

Kain shrugged. Anything was fine by him if it could encourage Takehiko to leave. "Yes, of course." He pulled his hand out of his pants pocket and carefully plucked a single rose before offering it to the other. "How many do you need?" There was a quick brush of fingers as the rose was lifted from Kain's hand, making the bronze haired vampire stiffen imperceptibly. He frowned slightly. Was that intentional? He knew that Takehiko should be able to receive the rose without making any contact at all and the aristocrat didn't strike Kain as being a clumsy or even overly familiar person.

"One more, please."

Kain turned around, plucked another stem of rose with an efficient movement and deliberately offered the flower with the same exact position like before. Takehiko took it from him without any repeat contact this time.

"Thank you. It's twenty four roses now. For twenty four hours a day. For every hour that I think of her," said the dark haired vampire as he glanced down at the roses in his arm. He sounded as if he spoke more to himself than to Kain.

"You're welcome," Kain nodded in return, lowering his guard a little. He didn't know if he should comment at the sudden and rather personal statement that his chat partner had just uttered.

"I should get going and give this to her as soon as possible. It's not wise to waste our time." Takehiko gave another smile before turning on his heel, backing Kain. He started to walk away, then stopped and spoke over his shoulder, his voice silky soft. "You too, Akatsuki-san, don't waste your time. Good chances do not always come twice in our lives, you know. Make your own choice and use your chance wisely. Also, you don't have to worry too much, I'm sure she didn't mind you doing… that… to her," he resumed his step.

Kain tensed up instantly. What _was_ that just now? Takehiko spoke as if he knew what had just happened between him and Ruka. That he'd just kissed her…? "Wait, Takehiko-san! What− what did you just say? What do you mean by that?"

Takehiko swiveled back to face Kain, eyes glinting in the darkness. "You _know_ perfectly what I mean."

"But − but how could you…"

"_How,_"the other vampire clipped Kain short. "…is not really important. I just knew."

Kain gritted his teeth, quickly jumping to conclusions. Someone must have told this guy about him and Ruka. "How much do you know? Did Ryuji tell you something?"

Takehiko's placid expression broke into a mildly surprised stare and Kain felt like cursing for the second time in ten minutes. "Ryuji has something to do with this?" he asked the younger vampire cautiously, his expression now a little pensive.

Kain kept quiet. He didn't know how to answer this one without plunging himself into deeper trouble or making a bigger mistake. Seeing some silent treatment thrown at him this time, Takehiko played a smirk. "Hm, I guessed he is. But no, I'm not getting anything from him. It's also not important for him to tell me, actually. Not important for me to know about all this, because I'm trying to stay neutral."

"So why are you telling me this now?" Kain asked uncertainly.

Takehiko gave a long sigh. "Too many reasons, to tell the truth. Because I've witnessed two stupid and lost teenagers in this house. Because I see in you real goodness, but alas, no backbone. Because I want only the best for my sister. Because I'm tired of seeing the two of you acting so hesitantly with each other…" he shrugged one shoulder then paused to give Kain a deep, knowing gaze. "And because I've once been in your position too, and I understand how confounded you must feel," he uttered the last line with the slightest hint of amusement.

Kain was at a loss for words. This man… this presumptuous, befuddling aristocrat... How did he seem to know about almost everything? Were he and Ruka being spied again?

Takehiko only paid the taller vampire's nonplussed reaction with another studious regard. "I'm sure you'll solve all your problems very soon. But that's only if you're true to your heart. Now pardon me..." he turned around and resumed his interrupted walk. "I have to take my leave. My wife is waiting."

Kain stared at the dark haired vampire back as he walked away, the last few sentences kept swirling inside his scrambled mind. It was so easy for the noble to say those words, almost as easy as he read the younger vampire's thoughts. And Kain also knew that the advice he had received was sincere. But he sighed heavily, dropping his gaze dejectedly at the ground. Now if only Takehiko had explained in detail what he must also do, Kain would be very happy to hear him out, because following his advice wasn't as easy as merely hearing it being said.

True to his heart? Kain never even knew that he'd _lied_ to himself all these times.

-- ooo --

Releasing a long worn-out sigh, Ruka carefully seated herself on the empty garden swing beneath a big, lush oak tree, grateful that its large, leafy branches provided her with more than enough shady protection even under the bright sunlight. It was barely five in the late afternoon, not a normal time for a vampire to be up and about, but she found herself quite couldn't get back to sleep. Ruka had stayed up late unable to fall asleep and when she finally did, it was a fitful doze, disturbed by various haunting dreams that she couldn't really remember when she finally woke up. She vaguely noted that her dreams involved Kain and Kaname, but of what, she really couldn't recall.

Ruka's eyes slid closed as she cradled her head back against the swing's tall backrest. Not that she really needed to know, actually. Disturbing dreams should be the least of her concerns right now, because there was a more pressing matter to take care of.

_...it pains me every time I see you cry... _The words that Kain said to her yesterday flooded back into her mind and she grimaced, invaded by feelings of remorse and helplessness. _That_ was wrong, yet at the same time she didn't know what she should do. Because never in all her eighteen years of living had she once realized that about Kain, that he would feel that way for her. Of course she had known about his apprehension over even the slightest change of her mood. But… not this. Never this.

Oh, what had she done? She had _hurt _Kain. For too many times now, apparently. If only she had known about this sooner, she certainly would never have tried to seek solace from him every time she was feeling down. But no, she didn't know that Kain also shared her pain until he'd told her.

How Ruka wished that she could have even half his perception and sensitivity. Because she was so stupid, so self centered, and cared only for herself, she never bothered to learn about the feelings of others. Of other people like Kain. She didn't really know much about him, did she?

Ruka opened her eyes and stared unseeingly at the green leafy roofing above her. This had to stop. She should stop from hurting Kain further. She might often run to him for comfort in the past, but with her newfound knowledge about him now, she should just stop that. Besides, what she was suffering from was her problem alone and not Kain's. She should also stop being such a wimp and start acting more like a grown up and take care of her own problems. And that included thinking about what answer she should provide to Kain's offer. She had to think about that, and soon. Then she could go and find him to…

No, wait… _find_ him? Did she really think that she could just find him and chat as usual without being assaulted by feelings of deep embarrassment over what had happened between them yesterday. Ruka jammed the heel of her palms to her eyes and moaned in sheer frustration.

He had kissed her. _Kain_ had kissed her. A real, serious kiss. Not on her hand, like other aristocrat males had given her in the past to show their appreciation and deference. Not on her forehead or cheek, the way her parents and brothers chose to show their affection. Kain had kissed her on her _lips_.

Ruka felt her cheeks burn at the memory. She just couldn't quite believe that Kain had actually _dared_ to kiss her. He might not know it, but it was her first kiss that he'd stolen. Okay, she admitted that she was once curious to know how a kiss would feel like, and she couldn't say that what he had done was bad, either. In fact, it was breathtaking, the way Kain had kissed her. And she couldn't deny that she'd enjoyed it either. But that was what made it deadly embarrassing. Because she didn't fight it and instead thoroughly enjoyed it before it all became too much for her and she instinctively pushed against him.

But the worse thing wasn't her own response to the kiss, it was the _person_ who had kissed her. _Kain Akatsuki_. Her _best friend_ who was almost like her own _brother_. There was no question at all that intimate kissing like that shouldn't be present on the list of what-two-best-friends-normally-do, right? Kissing should only happen between lovers and couples and not between male and female school friends. Everyone knew that there was a line separating friends and lovers.

Well… although recently, Ruka had to admit that the line had slowly started to blur between them, the longer she and Kain were together. And the way he behaved, it was almost as if he was slowly changing before her eyes, revealing a different aspect of his personality.

Ruka drew another deep sigh. Why was everything so complicated these days…

"Is there something wrong, Ruka?"

A deep, steady voice broke the quiet surroundings of the garden and snapped Ruka out of her reverie. She whipped her head around, catching sight of a familiar figure advancing. "Grandma! I didn't hear you!"

Yoshiko was walking with leisurely steps from the left side of the house towards the garden swing, a gentle smile adorning her face upon seeing her granddaughter's surprised expression. "Of course I wouldn't expect you to hear me. You were far too busy sighing all around, thinking about someone…" she stuffed herself into the empty space on Ruka's left side.

Ruka stiffened at that, then scoffed "That's not true…"

Yoshiko laughed at the blatant denial. "Ruka, I might be old, but I'm not blind and deaf yet. I know that you must be thinking about Akatsu - "

"Grandma, you know I hate it when you do that!"

Yoshiko lifted her pair of perfectly shaped russet brows, showing her mild astonishment. Her crystalline amber eyes were shining with mild amusement. "Do what? I didn't do anything, dear… In truth, I don't need to. Not when you show everything you feel in your beautiful eyes."

"I…" Ruka opened her mouth then closed it again, knowing that it was no use trying to deny her grandmother's sharp observation. She was right, and Ruka had already realized it herself that lately she was more animated than usual, especially when she spent her time with Kain. "I know. I'm sorry, Grandma. I should've been more... discreet."

"Oh, it's okay, Ruka, it's okay." The blond haired lady shook her head slowly and circled her arm around Ruka's shoulder in a warm, supportive gesture. "You're not a soulless statue. There's nothing wrong in showing a bit of emotion once in a while whenever you need to. But you don't have to suffer alone you know, because I can see that you're troubled. I would be very pleased if you would trust me to help."

"Troubled? No… you don't have to worry about me, Grandma. I'm fine." Ruka shook her head quickly.

"Oh, really? So what were all those big sighs I kept hearing as I took my daily stroll?"

"Um… That's just…just…" Ruka found Yoshiko's eyes holding her gaze in a questioning manner. _Darn!_ "Okay, well, maybe I am." She didn't have any choice but to tell the truth. "But it's nothing serious, I'm just a bit… confused."

There was a slight upward curve on Yoshiko's lips now. "But about what? All these times I always see you as a very strong girl. You've always known what you wanted and you were not afraid to get it. You have always shown a decisive and resolute attitude that even this old lady is awed of!"

Ruka couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Father has a very suitable name for it. He calls it being a '_stubborn ass'._"

"Don't listen to him," Yoshiko snorted in a disbelieving manner. "He just doesn't know that he's also insulting himself by saying those words. Now tell me what troubling you."

Ruka let her gaze drop. She was actually reluctant to actually tell Yoshiko what had been disturbing her mind. She was scared that if she told her grandmother a part of it, then her quick wit would fetch the rest of the story and complete the whole picture for her. If that happened, it would do nothing but add to her present problem. Despite being dubious and in need of some advice, Ruka knew that she really shouldn't say anything to her Grandmother.

Yes, she knew that, and yet Yoshiko's compassionate honey orbs made her resolution wane…

"You're… you're right, Grandma…" she finally murmured with a sigh and hung her head wearily. "I was thinking about him… Akatsuki. He… uh… suddenly seems to be..." Ruka paused uncertainly, trying to carefully pick her words, in order to skirt Yoshiko's suspicion. "…to be different. Not like the person I had known for years."

Yoshiko frowned a little and tipped her head to one side, warily examining Ruka's expression "Oh… is that so? Are you sure that he really is different? Or does he seem to be different because you somehow see something new in him that you had never noticed before?"

Ruka stared back uncomprehendingly. "Had never noticed…?"

The golden haired noble fixed her gaze into her granddaughter's wide puzzled eyes, very much aware of the innocence and inexperience mirrored in their depths. She rested one hand on the top of the younger girl's hands, entwining them as she smiled thoughtfully. "Sometimes, Ruka, there are things that are so obvious, but still escape from our attention because we simply refuse to look in their direction, because we're preoccupied by other things. Maybe is this is what happened to you, dear."

Ruka shook her head, a deep frown etched between her brows. "I… I still don't understand, Grandma."

"Oh, Ruka…" again the older vampire lady smiled, her other hand applying a light squeeze onto Ruka's shoulder. "What I want to say is, have you ever really, really looked at Akatsuki? Sure you know him practically all your life, but have you ever put your whole attention on him, attempted to learn about him, to know him better? To see the unseen and to hear the unheard? To look past and beyond what he shows everyone and listen beyond what he says out loud?" She paused, giving the younger noble a moment to absorb what she'd explained. "If you feel that he's a bit different from the image of him you have in your mind, maybe that's because you have just started to open your eyes and are learning to see him as what he truly is, and not merely following your preconceived depiction of him."

Ruka could only fall silent as she digested what her grandmother had just said. Was this true? That she had missed something obvious about Kain because all this time she had cared only about Kaname?

But it couldn't be… she grew up _together_ with Kain, for heaven's sake… The two of them along with Aidou had spent their youth playing and learning together, sharing everything they had, endlessly mocking and teasing each other, even fighting at some point whenever disagreements arose that failed to be settled by words alone. Although as time went by, it turned out that Aidou had continued his habit of quarreling with her while Kain had shown restraint, appearing more matured, gentle and considerate as the three of them grew up.

Of course, Ruka had to admit that there were numerous parts of Kain's personality that she surely hadn't discovered yet, but they should only be small details and not the obvious… it was almost unthinkable to her that all this time, she had been fooled by no one but herself. That realization made her somehow feel very stupid now.

Ruka shifted in her seat, feeling even more uncomfortable now. Initially, she was decided on solving all her problems by herself, even going to the extent of meeting Kain to give a satisfactory answer to his offer. But now, she wasn't so sure about meeting him at all. Not only because he had kissed her, but because she was now embarrassed. Embarrassed that she had never before taken a really good look at the person she had grown up with, or even bothered to learn about the person he was, or find out his likes or dislikes…

Yoshiko sensed Ruka's discomfiture under her quiet countenance. "It's okay, Ruka. You're a smart girl, you'll understand what I've told you sooner or later. In the meanwhile…" she made a small movement, peering past Ruka's shoulder. "There he is, coming for you now."

− ooo –


	14. Always You

**Author's note**: Just a quick notice, starting from this chapter I will set Ruka's hair as the one I previously used: rosy-brown and eyes russet, while Kain's hair as mahogany and eyes chocolate. Thank you for _Tierelantijn _who suggested for me to be consistent with a character's coloring to improve the 'reading experience' (I love to change colors, huh? duh me… -sheepish grin-). Also thanks a heap for **YenGirl** who'd took her time to beta and polish this chapter, the one who pushed, nudged and bribed to speed me up :3 (despite the chapter feels like crap in my eyes) :P

**Disclaimer**: you-know-what is you-know-whose!

* * *

_It feels like eternity_

_for me to hear you_

_finally say those words_

_because I __spent__ my whole life_

_unaware of what I truly want_

_but now I understand_

_that __what I've been waiting__ for_

_is this single,__ most precious __chance_

_that it finally comes the day _

_to take you away…_

**Chapter 14. Always You**

Ruka followed the direction of her Grandmother's glance and gasped. Her cheeks grew softly tinted with pink as her eyes met Kain's. He was currently standing thirty feet away from them, looking as if he was just coincidentally passing this way, his manner such that he would've perfectly fooled anyone else but Ruka. The rosy-brown haired vampire female swallowed past a suddenly dry throat. Even at this distance, the message in her friend's eyes was crystal clear − he wanted to talk to her.

It appeared that Yoshiko had also caught the unspoken message, and she promptly rose from her seat. "Ah, pardon me, I need to check on my favorite alpine sunset tea rose. The gardener told me it has been in full bloom since two days ago, but I haven't seen it at all," she patted Ruka's shoulder in an encouraging gesture before leaving the swing, albeit knowing that her granddaughter was hardly paying her any attention now.

Kain stood rigidly on the spot, giving a polite bow to Yoshiko when the older vampire walked past him, and waited until she had turned the corner before swinging on his heel to approach the swing where Ruka still sat. He took Yoshiko's previous spot and seated himself next to the vampire beauty.

Ruka kept very still as she felt Kain's shoulder brush hers, not daring to move since she was currently fighting an urge to scoot away from him. Ruka was afraid of really doing that if she made any movement now because she was not ready to face him just yet...

Kain drew a muted sigh as he kept his gaze straight ahead. He could practically taste Ruka's discomfort and wondered if he'd chosen the right time to talk to her. She seemed acutely discomfited in his presence and her face was noticeably flushed. It must be courtesy of what had happened yesterday, Kain assumed. Well, at least embarrassment was a hundred times better than hatred. Because he knew he wouldn't be able to stand the latter from Ruka.

Still, he wanted to be sure.

Kain mentally prepared his question and turned to face Ruka. But he didn't ask her right away and instead exhaled softly as he spotted the unusual, tired lines etched on her perfect, beautiful features today. "You look like you didn't have enough sleep," he muttered his comments almost involuntarily. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

Ruka glanced briefly in his direction but didn't answer him. She only knitted her brows tightly together as her cheeks grew even more scarlet.

Kain's heart faltered at her silence. She wasn't actually… mad at him, was she? "Are... are you angry with me?" he asked her in an uncharacteristically small voice that vocalized his worry.

Ruka's frown deepened as she shook her head gently in reply to Kain's question. Did he really think that she might have been mad at him? After all her encouragement for him to do as he pleased? Of course she wasn't mad at him. Ashamed and angry at _herself − _for her own lack of dignity − would be more like it. And besides, she would be canceling her own words if she was actually angry at what he'd done.

Her thoughts didn't help to ease her uneasiness, though. "You already apologised yesterday," Ruka huffed and gave another sideways glance at him. "I'm not angry but I would prefer us not to bring up this subject again." She forced herself to shift around to fully face Kain, meeting him in the eye to emphasize her wish as she spoke.

"Oh, okay…" Kain murmured uncertainly. He had an unsettling feeling that Ruka wasn't being honest with him. But nevertheless, he also had other things to say to her, so he would stop, just as she had asked him to.

Ruka was going ahead of him before he could say anything. "And… I haven't got the answer to your offer either," she plundered on in a manner clearly indicating that she didn't know any better way to say it to him other than just stating the truth. She shook her head tiredly. "I... I feel confused…" _I want to be able to forget about him. I want you to help me, but I'm afraid of what you're going to do to my heart. I don't think it can survive another break. _Ruka couldn't bring herself to communicate the rest of her worry; but she knew it would make no difference. Kain always proved himself perfectly capable of reading her mind.

And just as she'd expected, he did it again. "Ruka, you know that I would never do something against your will, or anything that would hurt your heart. Don't you trust me to help you?" he asked her softly, his eyes searching her face.

"I do, Akatsuki. You wouldn't even be here if I didn't trust you. But now, I'm just..." Ruka couldn't finish her sentence as she failed to find the correct words to represent her current state of mind. She really did trust Kain. With all her heart. She was honest with her words and knew that what he was offering her was a precious chance she might not encounter twice in her life. It was now or never. Logically, if she was at all serious in her attempt to forget Kaname, she should accept Kain's help. Because she had tried it many times by herself in the past and she'd always failed miserably in her endeavours.

Yes, she understood all this and she really wanted to give Kain her firm assent. However, she found that she couldn't, at least not without studious contemplation over the matter. Her intuition was warning her to be extra careful this time, because it felt like she was going to take a very big risk for herself. On top of that, she was alert enough to know that this big risk would almost certainly place her already vulnerable heart at stake.

Such weird thoughts since she didn't even know yet what Kain had planned to do to help her out. Ruka grimaced. "What are your ideas, Akatsuki? What are your exact plans on helping me?"

Kain looked back at her with mildly startled chocolate eyes. Oh, that was right ─ he'd forgotten about Ruka wanting him to have his own way. And even if he hadn't forgotten, he'd partially assumed that somehow Ruka would be the one who took charge, as usual. But it seemed like she'd seriously made up her mind that she wanted it to be the other way around this time.

Kain winced inwardly, not because he didn't have the answer to Ruka's question, but because he realized that what she wished from him this time was dangerous. Last night, after his strange conversation with Takehiko, he finally remembered something important he'd almost forgotten. The moment he recalled the older vampire's line about good chances that might not come twice in one's life, he started to remember how bad he had felt when he first found out that Ruka was going to be engaged. How a small hope deep inside his heart had wished for another chance, for some way to change things between him and Ruka.

The realization made him feel very stupid. It was undeniable that he now had that rare and precious second chance in his hands now, given to him at no cost by kind Lady Luck. And yet, he hesitated. It was also clear to him now, that as much as he hated having to admit to himself, he couldn't escape the glorious fact that he'd hoped for something _more_ between him and Ruka. All the proofs were spread on the table, supporting this fact. From being unable to say no to her requests to why he always offered her his continuous support. From being unable to resist every chance of physical contact he got with her, to bleeding on the inside each time he saw her cry. True, each of them were small and miniscule hints that could easily escape attention if they simply stood alone. But when all pieces were put together and combined, they proved to be an indisputable and unshakeable evidence.

The more apparent proof of Kain's own feelings towards Ruka was how furious he had felt about Kaname, especially the way the pureblood had heartlessly treated her. And if even that was not enough of a confirmation, Kain still had many, many moments of when he wanted Ruka not to think about any other guy, especially Kaname, in his presence. Hell, in truth, he wished for her not to think about the pureblood or even another person ever again in her whole life. In short, Kain only wanted Ruka to think about him, and him only.

Such possessive thoughts… No one would believe him now if he said that he and Ruka were just friends. The evidence that there was something going on between him and Ruka – even if it was from him more than from her – was as clear as daylight. No wonder Takehiko had given him such comments yesterday. Kain had indeed lied to his heart, trapping himself under limitations he alone had set and deliberately closing his eyes, refusing to look at the truth objectively. He had chosen to sate his heart for years under the illusion he created for himself. Under the convenient excuse; friendship − that he stubbornly clung onto, to explain away all his endearing behaviour towards Ruka and the sincere care he always kept especially for her.

How ironic… he was the one who wanted to help Ruka relieve herself out of her so called obsession for Kaname, yet in one way or another Kain himself was also being trapped under a similar situation, for her. The only difference in his case was he'd just realized it, and still didn't know for sure the extent of his own feelings.

It looked like Kain should express his gratitude to Takehiko for his advice, even if it was uncalled for, because the older noble had finally helped him see through the confusing mix of his feelings objectively. To Kain, it made quite a difference now that he had finally admitted to himself that he desired Ruka, because it only strengthened his wish of wanting her to accept his help now.

But still, Kain knew he had to be careful. If Ruka agreed to his help, it would place too much privilege on his hands and he would be sorely tempted to try to win the one that could never be his. It was true he had admitted his own feelings to himself, but it didn't mean that Ruka also felt the same towards him, right? He didn't need anyone to tell him that the girl sitting beside him now had never had eyes for him, or for anyone else apart from Kaname. Kain had to be careful otherwise he would find himself broken-hearted. And if this happened, there was no one to blame but himself.

But of course Ruka didn't need to know any of these bittersweet feelings he had inside him. He would keep them all for himself... just like how he always had even in the past.

Kain took a deep and steadying breath before he spoke. "Ruka, what I plan to do is not really important… as long as you're serious in trying," he intended to have his words sound as a finite explanation, but against his will they came out sounding tentative and unsure. And he was even more hesitated when a new, fleeting thought suddenly clicked into his mind, startling him.

Kain swallowed past his tight throat, and met Ruka's soft, dilated orbs that spoke of her equal hesitation. She was obviously processing the half completed persuasive words he had served her with. Kain could see how hard she battled her inner turmoil, needless to say, and it only served to confirm his thoughts. Mentally, he shrank back with a feeling of dread. He couldn't stop himself from asking her again, to seek his own assurance. "Are you, Ruka? Are you really serious about this? Or will you just continue to keep your... affection for him?" his voice quivered slightly as he failed to mask his own anxiety. It was a rather unnerving thought, if not a painful one.

Ruka dropped her gaze and exhaled wanly. She had, in fact, too many times already asked herself similar questions like the one Kain was asking her now, ever since she found out that Kaname would only love his pureblood sister, Yuuki. She had asked herself whether she would be able to really, really throw away all her love for Kaname, all her dreams of being the pureblood's bride someday. She had to admit that it was something extremely hard to do since her affection for Kaname had been a deeply ingrained emotion for years, already merged into one with her very soul. One would never be able to understand her complex feelings for a person who had kept her admiration for years. Ruka had harboured all those strong emotions inside of her, always waiting, always anticipating, always hoping for a chance to have the one who stood so near yet remained too far for her to reach out. Ruka had never even once considered another option other than Kaname for a life mate even as she saw him repeatedly turn his back towards her.

This was why Ruka was so desperate when being summoned back here. For the first time, she had tried to forget about the pureblood, knowing that her time was finally running out. She had to face reality now. No matter how much the realization hurt that it made her cry**, **she had to bury all her love and dreams forever. It was so frightening, for she felt almost as if she was abandoning a part of herself, along with her efforts to forget Kaname. And she feared her heart would break into hundreds of pieces in the process, never to be healed or whole ever again.

"Ruka... " Kain's throaty voice sounded weary now but still demanding, and Ruka's eyes swung back to meet his questioning ones. She sighed softly as she caught the blend of uncertainty and a drop of hurt playing inside his deep chocolate eyes. It seemed that this was one rare occasion when she could actually make an accurate guess as to his thoughts. And she knew what Kain was thinking at that moment was that she would turn him down.

"It's not that, Akatsuki," she quickly said. "I'm not trying to retain my feelings for... for Kaname-sama"

Ruka was being considerate now. Kain could tell just from the way she spoke. She was being hesitant in mentioning_ his_ name in front of him, afraid if somehow that could affect his feelings. The pureblood's name came out as half a whisper and her voice was not as smooth as usual. It was as if she instinctively knew how Kain felt for her and she wanted to spare him anymore pain.

But Kain still hated it. Not the elusive hint of her newfound consideration for him, but the sound of his pureblood leader's name coming out of Ruka's lips, that still held a hint of… _warmth_ in it. As much as the girl said that she wasn't trying, he knew better.

Kain gave her a woeful look, trying to ignore a familiar ache growing inside his chest that had appeared more and more often lately. "It's just a yes or no, Ruka. You know that I can't do anything if you are reluctant," he shifted closer, and presented her with a very honest and open look.

Indeed, it was just a yes or no, like Kain said. But still, Ruka found it hard to choose. "I know, Akatsuki. But you also know that it's not as simple as that. Besides, I…" _I don't trust myself to survive all this..._

"I know you're scared. You're afraid that you might not be strong enough. But you will never know it if you don't try." Kain shook his head, his chocolate eyes sad as they searched hers. _What do you want from me Ruka? Why don't you let me be your strength? You told me to do as I wish, but when I show you what I desire you won't comply. And you never tell me what you want me to do about this matter also. I don't know what I should do…_

_You're a fool, Akatsuki,_ a small voice mocked him inside his head,_ this is getting nowhere, you're just pushing it and you know it._

Kain exhaled tiredly. That voice was right. He knew some things in life just couldn't be helped. Just like his unexplained and irrational draw towards Ruka that he had tried for countless times to stop and failed before finally accepting it as a part of him. Maybe he should also accept the fact that he couldn't do much about the part of her that would always long for Kaname.

There was still no answer coming from the distressed beauty who sat stiffly next to him, biting her lower lip and locking her gaze to the ground. Seeing her this way, Kain knew that he wouldn't need to force her to actually deliver her verbal rejection to him. He had always known anyway that he stood no chance at all in front of her, and she would _undoubtedly_ choose the pureblood over him. He shouldn't have even come out with this idea of helping her in the first place, really…. What on earth was he thinking?

Kain shook his head and got up from his seat without saying anything further. It was better for him to leave than to wait to hear Ruka's bitter words. He knew what she was going to say, anyway. It was sad, but he could do nothing right now and he didn't want to make things worse either. If Ruka deemed his offer not worthy enough for her to take, then so be it. Besides, this wasn't the first time she had abandoned his offer, was it? He would just have to accept her decision and live with it the way he usually did. Only this time, he would also have the additional burden of ignoring the pain of her rejection at the same time.

Kain had barely taken his second step, when he felt a warm, soft palm snatching at his right wrist. "Akatsuki, wait!"

No, please… he didn't want to hear her reasons… Kain jarred to a halt but kept his face turned away from her as he hurriedly spoke. "You don't really have to say it, Ruka. I know what you have made up and I perfectly understand. I will just−"

"You're right!" Ruka cut him off abruptly. "You're right, Akatsuki. I'm scared. I'm scared of what lies ahead. I'm… not strong enough… to try all this…" Her tone started off a little rough and edgy, then softened considerably until it sounded like a shaky whisper at the end. "What I felt about Kaname-sama, I can't do anything about it, and that's why I…"

Kain closed his eyes tightly. He knew, more or less, where this conversation was leading to and he just wanted it to stop. Stop before his heart broke anymore. "Ruka… I told you, you don't have to sa─"

"I need you to help me, Akatsuki!"

Kain's eyes snapped open and he turned slowly to face Ruka. He was sure that he'd misheard her blurted out words. "What?" he breathed tremulously.

Ruka swallowed visibly, daring herself to raise her eyes and meeting Kain's questioning gaze. "I need you to help me with this!" she repeated her words, mildly surprising Kain because she sounded firmer than what he had initially expected upon seeing her much troubled expression. "Because I can't do this all alone. I've tried and failed. So… so please…" her grip on Kain was tightening unconsciously from her stirred up emotions and she struggled to form her words. There was a new but unmistakable determination budding inside her eyes now, indicating that she had already made her decision. Ruka cleared her throat and his time, her voice didn't even waver a bit as she delivered her sentence. Determined. Clear. Concise.

"I need your help, Akatsuki. Please help me forget about him."

Despite the fact that half his intelligent brain had successfully grasped the remainder of what Ruka was about to say the moment she informed him that she couldn't handle her own situation by herself, Kain still couldn't help giving her a mildly shocked stare that stayed in place for more than a few seconds as his mind registered what had just happened. He couldn't believe that she had said it. That she had finally agreed to accept his help. And not just agreed, she had also said that she _needed_ his help. What happened to all her uncertainty and negative response just a little while ago?

"Ruka… are you sure?" Kain asked her cautiously, his calm and controlled voice contrasting sharply with his wildly pounding heart. He wanted so much to just believe her words, to blindly assume that there were no strings attached to her sudden consent. It was just so easy to do… yet, he couldn't. Not without asking in further detail about what had made Ruka change her mind. He didn't want to end up with her hating him if they did this now and something went wrong in the future simply because he didn't clarify things well between them now.

Ruka stared back at him with a pair of determined russet eyes. "Yes."

"But why? I thought you were not up to my offer just now?"

"I wasn't," she confirmed with a sigh and slid her hand from his wrist as she gazed across the expanse of the garden. Kain winced silently at her initial reply but waited as he sensed that there was more coming from her. "But I also realized that I should, in one way or another, put an end to… to all this. I'm tired and it's enough already."

"But you didn't sound sure. What happens if you suddenly change your mind? And do you have any idea of what I would have to do to help you?" Kain asked, obstinate in pursuing a believable answer from Ruka.

"No… I don't. Actually I prefer of not knowing," she shook her head.

Kain's chocolate eyes turned wide. Ruka's answer was quite illogical to him. "What? Why?"

There was a pregnant pause as Ruka evidently pondered over how to answer his inquiry. But when she opened her mouth to answer at last, Kain knew that whatever the beauty had in her mind, she'd chosen not to share it with him. At least not all of it. "As I told you earlier – it's because I trust you," she said simply. Then, maybe because she sensed some doubt in him, she continued in a very soft tone, "and… and because it's you, that's why."

It took more than five seconds for Kain to completely down what Ruka had said. …because it's you. It's _you._

Okay… it was stupid._ He_ was stupid. But Kain couldn't help the part in him that suddenly roared with almost savage triumph upon hearing Ruka's words. He would ─ unquestionably ─ never admit this fact to anyone, that he was rejoicing inwardly just because of that one simple line. Because he could see that she was sincere with it from the way she steadily locked her gaze with his as she said it.

Maybe Kain was taking it to mean more that what she had meant, but still, for her to trust him that much ─ to allow it, because it was him and not someone else ─ that should mean _something_, right? And _something_ is certainly better than _nothing_…

As long as she was serious about it.

Kain cleared his throat. "Okay, if that's what you wish…" he trailed off, almost deliberately making it sound like a question again. A last ditch attempt to call her bluff.

But there was no hesitation from her this time. "It is."

"I just want to make sure that you won't regret this later."

Ruka made an exasperated face. "I won't, Akatsuki. How many times should I give you my confirmation? Are you being unsure now?" her tone was considerably light hearted despite her facial expression.

"Of course not." Actually, Kain was. Well, maybe not exactly being unsure. Dubious would be more like it. He'd grown so used to Ruka's rejection to his various offers ─ no matter how implicit or explicit it was ─ in the past that it made him hard to believe that she was currently accepting one now. "I just want to be sure about your decision, that's all."

Ruka snorted unamusedly. "Don't worry too much."

"If you say so…" Kain took a long, relieved sigh and dropped back to the swing's seat next to Ruka once more, enjoying a moment of silence while furtively tuning all his attention to the beauty sitting next to him. He was partially expecting to see Ruka flinch as usual when their shoulders brushed as he sat down, but to her credit she didn't. Though Kain was sure it didn't come without some effort on her part.

"Anyway…" Ruka began after some time. Her tone was lighter than before, and Kain quickly assumed that she wanted a change of the topic. "How are your wounds?"

"They're healed already. Thank you"

"You left before I finished, you know," her tone was an intriguing mix of protest and sulking.

"I can treat myself," Kain returned with a dismissive shrug.

"Yeah, but you should be aware that flaunting your blood scent all over the place is not a good idea!" Ruka half snapped, looking irritated with the way Kain seemed to take matters way too lightly.

"Everything's fine, Ruka," he answered in an even lighter, almost playful pitch. "If you're worried about me, you should've said so, instead of just getting mad─"

Ruka's cheeks played a lovely change of color. "I was only afraid that you might _encounter_ someone."

"I did."

"What!?" Ruka's eyes were big with surprise.

"I encountered Takehiko yesterday."

"Oh no… how come? Where do you run into him? Did he act suspicious in any way or ask you anything?" Ruka fired a series of questions at him with an obvious shade of panic in her voice.

"I can't say that he was suspicious…" Kain frowned as he trailed off, trying to give his best explanation regarding his strange encounter with Takehiko last night. "But he did ask me a couple of questions in a kind of... unusual... manner." To be honest, unusual wasn't even close to describe someone like Takehiko, but Kain couldn't come up with a better adjective at that moment.

Ruka huffed. "Unusual? I bet he was trying to trick you!" she was totally nonplussed. "He's very cunning, you know. Did he try in any way to touch or make some sort of physical contact with you?"

"Well, we met and chatted in the garden and he was carrying a bunch of roses which he said that he'd collected for his wife. Then in the middle of our short conversation, he asked me to help him pick two roses from the bush behind me," Kain paused for a moment, trying to make himself sound neutral. The memory of his meeting with this certain brother of Ruka was actually a bit too strange and he started to feel uncomfortable even at the recollection. "Our fingers brushed when he took the first rose from me."

"Oh, Lord…" Ruka buried her face in her palms. This is _really_ bad…

"Hey, what's wrong with that?" Kain grimaced a little. Surely a casual brush of fingers _didn't_ mean anything, right? No matter how strange Takehiko was, he certainly couldn't be what Kain was suddenly suspecting from Ruka's negative reaction.

"My brother is a mind reader, you know! Takehiko can read someone else's thoughts, selectively, for a limited period through physical contact!"

"W─Wow… so this means… we're toast?" Kain's eyes rounded slowly as the meaning of Ruka's words suddenly made sense to a lot of things last night. A mind reader! What an ability that youngest son of Souen had. _Oh, crap_. No wonder he could read Kain like an open book and no wonder he also knew most, if not all, about what had happened between him and Ruka.

The vampire beauty was chewing on her lower lip again, thinking. "Well… he would not deliberately report this to my father, he's not like that."

"Oh, so that means it is all ri─"

"No. It's not all right! Takehiko nii-san is the kind of person who would just sit still, watch and merely ignore an event playing in front of him_ if_ it did not bring anything in his favor. But that will not be the case if there was something in that event that he could actually benefit from. He is a very calculative person. He studied business, and that's why he would look and sort everything is his life as to whether it was profitable to him or not. Well, maybe not everything, at least he's not like that to his wife." Ruka folded her arms in front of her chest, looking outwardly sour. It was so not good to let Takehiko know her little secret now. The noble was as capable of picking out a selective memory from his victim or even prying one's _whole_ lifetime experience out for his purpose. He was just like some sort of evil recording machine.

"But it's so apparent that he has this 'profitable - dig; non profitable - dump' way of thinking," she continued her explanation. "I'm just worried that someday he would use what he knows against us since we could never know how much memory he'd hacked from your head. Simply put, we're at his mercy now."

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Kain asked. Ruka's anxiety was beginning to unsettle him too.

"Yeah, if you can bribe Seiren to brainwash my brother, that would certainly help solve our problem…" Ruka mumbled darkly. "And she can also do that to my father so he can forget his crazy idea about… oh, darn!" she stopped suddenly, looking aghast as she clapped her mouth with her palm. "How could I have forgotten about that!"

"Forgotten about what?"

Ruka looked up to Kain's clearly bewildered eyes and she swallowed nervously. Oh, she didn't like this. At all. She'd forgotten about the whole engagement affair thanks to various untimely distractions that had sidetracked her from her initial intention. But that was only second to her actual concern right now. What if Kain objected to the idea and wanted to call it off?

She obviously had to re-think on how to inform him. Properly. At least to minimize the shock factor. But it was kind of too late now, Kain was already waiting for her explanation.

_Just great._

"Um… it's about the… the engagement," she halted, half waiting to see if Kain would somehow give her a hint about his forthcoming response on the subject. But he just kept his expression impassive so she had no choice but to continue. "I… uh… forgot to tell you that I have agreed to my father's plan to speed up the engagement date to within two and a half weeks as of yesterday," she expelled the words in a hurried, tense voice.

A long silence followed her sentence and Ruka waited with her heart jumping wildly to her throat. Kain was looking uncharacteristically speechless as he processed the latest, unfavorable piece of information from Ruka. "Oh, wow…" he blinked and threaded his fingers through his wild mahogany curls. "You accepted, just like that?"

"I had no other choice. Everyone there was against me!" Ruka replied in a frustrated tone.

Kain arched his brows. "Everyone?"

"Ryuji and Takehiko nii-san were also there, in my father's working room. Hiki-nii didn't help me at all and Ryuji nii-san actually supported my father's wish!" Ruka was still seething inside as she remembered how her second brother's words had ticked her off yesterday.

"He did? But I thought Ryuji-san hated me? Why would he support the idea of us actually being engaged?"

She shrugged. "How would I know? He can be pretty weird sometimes."

"So, what would we do now?" Kain asked slowly. It looked like things were starting to get out of hand. "If we really get engaged, it would be a pain to cancel, you know, unless─"

"You don't have to remind me about that, I knew about the rules already," Ruka interrupted. "Unfortunately I couldn't think of any single idea or resolution for this."

They both fell silent again and Ruka closed her eyes tiredly. The only guaranteed way to cancel her father's accelerated engagement plan was to admit to him that her whole love relationship with Kain had been a fake from the start. It sounded easy, but that would not be the end of her problem. Far from it, in fact. For as soon as her father was done being super enraged, he would just force her to pick another candidate. And he would certainly make sure that she chose _right _the second time around.

_No way_ she was going to use that option as a solution. She could only tried to arrange another sensible ─if not fake─ reason. Maybe she could try to persuade her mother to help her, or maybe even her grandmother, but she still had to prepare a convincing reason. And she couldn't even think of one right now.

"Do you… really, really mind about this?" Kain suddenly asked, breaking Ruka's train of thought.

"Of course I mind. I didn't plan on being engaged with anyone from the start and─" she answered without thinking, and almost choked herself when she turned to look at him. "What ─ you… you're fine with this?" she inquired hesitantly. It was a futile question because she already knew what Kain was about to say from the way he looked at her, even before he opened his mouth to answer. But honestly, she never expected that Kain would have any objections at all about her father's stupid plan. He wouldn't simply turn against the idea, of course, but Ruka had somehow expected she would have to add some form of persuasion before he agreed.

"I was just thinking," Kain answered. His voice was calm and steady. Too calm for Ruka's liking. "If it's just an engagement, and we really have no other better options to avoid it, then why not?"

_What!?_

"Do you realize what you're _talking _about, Akatsuki? It's about you and me. Us. Engaging," Ruka was aware that her reaction mirrored a straight disbelief. But she didn't care. The whole idea of her and Kain being engaged was so foreign, even to the point of being ridiculous. _What_ was Kain thinking anyway? "Even if you meant it as something not serious or not real, it will still be hell hard to cancel the engagement!"

"Yes, hell hard. But it doesn't mean it is impossible," Kain argued with unwavering composure even as Ruka stared at him as if he had gone mad. "Besides, this will just serve to appease your father's request. Then we can silently cancel it when things have cooled down later."

"Okay, fine. You're right, it's not impossible. But do you really mean to do business with our whole family? And what argument would you provide to them then?"

"We will think of one, Ruka, while I should also keep my family away from this matter as long as possible," Kain raised his right hand to stop Ruka from interrupting his speech. "Listen, I'm not saying that you should accept this. This is just one of my solutions. There are still two weeks left. You still have an opportunity to think of another solution if you're not going to use mine."

Ruka let out a defeated sigh. Kain was right with his points and in truth, she should be grateful to him. Because instead of balking and making objections straight off, he had tried his best to help her out instead. Aside from how absurd his idea was to her ear at the moment, or the grievous situation at hand and the predicted upcoming mess that she and Kain would face ─ if she followed his idea, she still reserved her full rights to make her own choice. And there were two more weeks to dig for another way out. Ruka realized now that she had gotten more than what she had bargained for. It really would be too much to ask for more at the present time.

The only thing was, Ruka had a really unsettling feeling that everything would turn out even worse by the time this fiasco was finally over…


	15. Spoken, Yet Unheard

**Author Note: **As always, thank you for **YenGirl** who act as beta for this chapter and also for her great help and inspiration for the chapter's idea. This one is presented especially for you, girl! :D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vampire Knight. Not a big news, huh?

* * *

_When not many words flow between us_

_How I long to be like you_

_Because you always hear and understand_

_The honest way our eyes speak_

_Though brief, yet clear as always_

_In a language known only to our hearts_

**Chapter 15. Spoken, Yet Unheard **

_Can a vampire die of boredom?_

Maybe_ not. _

But that was clearly what Ruka was thinking over and over again for the past three hours as she stood rigidly in front of a grand full length mirror. She looked as if she was critically eyeing her own appearance but in truth, her mind was roving over something else altogether. She was tired, if not thoroughly sick and angry of having to do things she didn't enjoy at all ─ like being forced to don dress after dress in order to choose one for her upcoming engagement party.

Thanks to Saeko, what should have been a light and pleasant activity had turned into some kind of irritating pasttime. The old head servant had innocently interrupted Ruka's nap time after her lunch and stuffed her into the filled-with-mountains-of-party-dresses-drawing room. There, she had persuaded the younger female to try on the dresses she thought were suitable to wear for the party – one by one – and didn't stop even after the still sleepy girl had picked one out. Saeko had insisted that Ruka try on _all_ the dresses available, in case she should suddenly fancy another differently styled one. The old head servant admitted that she'd retrieved the dresses with difficulty from Renata Souen's own fashion gallery for Ruka's convenience, so that her young missy needn't travel to the town for a mere dress fitting issue.

That had of course made it difficult for Ruka to simply decline the old vampire's request.

"So, what do you think of this dress, Ruka-sama?" Saeko's question brought back the noble's wandering attention. Frowning heavily, she forced herself to look at the mirror again. She was now wearing a delicate beige silk and lace gown that hugged her curves and softly followed her every movement. The gown, despite having a modest neckline and long sleeves, was clearly designed to compliment its wearer's body line. And it was doing just that now, flaunting Ruka's slender, yet beautiful and curvaceous form.

She glowered sourly at her reflection._ Funny._ Why should she bother dressing up to perfection when there would be _no one_ at the party that she would want to impress? She was almost sure that Kaname-sama wouldn't come even if he was invited, because the pureblood was more than aware of his own position when it came to the subject of Ruka's situation. And besides–

"Ruka-sama…?"

"Oh!" Ruka gave an imperceptible twitch, a bit surprised. Damn, she was spacing out too much, she should really stop it now. "Um, it's… this dress is…" _A total turn off. _"It's really good."

Saeko beamed. "Oh, very good then! Do you want to–"

"But actually Saeko-san, I…"

"I _prefer_ the previous one."

Gasping a little, both Ruka and Saeko plus the other two maids assisting them reflexively turned their heads towards the source of that masculine voice.

"Akatsuki!" Ruka exclaimed, surprised to find her tall friend leaning against the sturdy wooden door frame and watching her with a perfectly relaxed style. Both his hands were hidden in his black pants pockets and his eyes were glowing with half concealed amusement.

Kain took a few steps into the room and stopped about two feet away from Ruka, leaning forward a bit as he meticulously eyed her dress. "To be honest, Ruka, beige does nothing for you compared to pansy purple," he said after a moment in a totally non offending tone before swiftly turning to face Saeko. "Don't you think so, Saeko-san?" he asked smoothly, the corners of his lips curving upwards to form a soft, charming smile.

"Oh… Y–Yes, of course, Akatsuki-sama," Saeko stuttered with her reply, not having had enough time to recover from her initial bafflement at Kain's abrupt interference and completely unexpecting him to ask her a question just now. "Uh… maybe it's because Ruka-sama has such fair skin, so… so the pansy purple complements it."

"That's exactly what I thought. You observe really well, Saeko-san…" Kain gave an approving nod and offered a more deliberately captivating smile to the old head servant that succeeded in making the two other maids blush madly.

What in the name of…! Ruka couldn't help but stare at the whole so-unlike-Kain attitude her friend was currently adopting. What was he _doing? _Trying to _smooth-talk _her family's most senior servant?

"So, it's decided then?" Kain waved his hand at the subjected dress that was lying on top of a pile of previously tried on dresses on a nearby table.

Saeko automatically flicked her gaze to another similarly sized pile of party dresses that Ruka hadn't tried on yet. "But…there are still other dresses–".

"I like the purple one, Saeko-san," Kain cut off the old head servant's hesitant sentence. He still used the same soft and friendly voice, but it was now blended with an unmistakable hint of firm authority. Kain didn't wait for Saeko to answer but just turned back to Ruka. Ignoring her dumbfounded look, he retrieved his left hand out of the pocket it was occupying and gently encircled her slim waist, bringing her closer to his chest in an unmistakably possessive gesture. "Besides, I personally prefer to see her shoulders and back exposed by that gown."

Ruka knew that the words were deliberately spoken by Kain to bring discomfort to Saeko and to distract the old head servant from her initial objective. Just now – before Kain had stated his… intimate opinion – she realized that he was actually trying to help her get away from Saeko. And that ridiculous and unnatural Takuma or Aidou-like attitude he had on was just a made up act.

But still, Ruka couldn't help her breath from hitching and warm color from blooming on her cheeks. The way Kain was holding her in the curve of his arm and gazing so intently into her eyes… He looked so serious and _that_ made her heart start to thump wildly.

Saeko's cheeks had also warmed a bit by now courtesy of Kain's unconcealed display of intimacy. She quietly murmured a not very clear "Uh… if you say so" to the young male aristocrat.

"Very good then," Kain confirmed with a brief nod, his warm and admiring eyes staying on the discomfited young lady trapped in his arm.

Saeko was quick enough to catch an apparent hint of dismissal in Kain's manner and she hurriedly retreated – discreetly signaling for the two gaping maids to follow her and make themselves scarce as soon as possible.

"What -" Ruka started with a hiss that sounded a tad angrier that what she actually felt, "- was _that_ just now?" At the same time, she pushed the palms of both hands hard against the expansive chest in front of her.

Kain raised a confused brow even as he complied with her non-verbal wish to be released and took a step back. "What do you mean?" he asked back calmly.

"You were acting like your stupid, womanizing-cousin Hanabusa!" she replied, half grimacing as she cautiously eyed her friend. "I can't believe you voiced out that comment about… about…" Ruka couldn't even finish her sentence, feeling the heat in her cheeks worsen.

"What's so wrong about it? I just wanted to help you. Even as I passed by on the other side of this window, I could see that you were dead bored with eyeing your own reflection," Kain stated in very reasonable sort of tone. It only made Ruka angrier.

"But you didn't have to–"

"What matters most," Kain cut her off cleanly. "…is that I succeeded in getting rid of her while you didn't. That's what's important. Or… do you need me to call her back and resume your dress trying activity?"

Ruka glowered up at Kain. His chocolate eyes were glinting with a dangerous mix of mischief, challenge and amusement even though his expression was still neutral. She huffed and shook her head slowly. "All right, I understand. Even though it's a bit over the top, but you've made your point. Thanks for your help. Am I free to go now?"

Unexpectedly, Kain shook his head. "No, you're not."

"What? Why not?"

Kain merely blinked. "You'll see for yourself, Ruka. Come on, change your clothes now, I'll be waiting outside." He turned on his heel and walked towards the door. Then he stopped for a bit as he placed his hand on the door knob. "Oh, and make sure you draw the curtains close before you change. Otherwise, everybody passing by will have their lucky day," he ended his sentence and quickly slid out of the room before Ruka could send any rejoinder.

─ oOo ─

"Akatsuki, wait!"

Kain drew a deep breath and weaved some fingers through his mahogany windswept locks before bringing his strides to a halt. Turning around, he switched the basket he was carrying from his left hand to his right and paid Ruka a slightly amused look, watching the beauty huff a little as she tried to match his pace on their walk up the hill.

"We're almost there. Are you tired already?" he asked casually.

Ruka took her last step and stood three feet away from his towering figure, shooting him an accusing glare." Don't even try to change the subject," she gritted out menacingly.

Kain slipped his left hand inside his pants pocket, trying to keep his cool although he wanted to smile upon witnessing the evident irritation looming over the other vampire's beautiful face. Ruka had been like this, he recalled, shifting between adorably flushed or fairly aggravated ever since she finished changing into a stylishly cut ivory knee-length dress and emerged from the drawing room to find him telling her that they would be going for a picnic. She had voiced out her objections at once, but Kain turned her down flat by laying out the fact that she currently had nothing better to do and kept on coaxing her until she reluctantly agreed to it.

Ruka had since fallen into a sulking silence until she abruptly started asking a question as she tailed him. Well, maybe not exactly asking. _Stammering _over the question would be a more appropriate term. She was doing her best to produce a choppy inquiring line concerning his last spoken sentence back at the drawing room. Her embarrassment was obvious enough that although Kain didn't spin around to take a look at her, he knew that she was most certainly flustered.

And without a doubt, she would turn even more flustered if he answered her question truthfully.

Consequently, Kain didn't answer immediately and instead, tried to distract Ruka's attention by picking up his speed, saying that he had brought with him some frozen delicacies in the picnic basket that would melt if they did not hurry up and eat it.

Of course as he'd expected, she still kept on chasing him for his answer. Kain sighed as he met Ruka's sharp gaze, courtesy of her annoyance at being ignored. "I just see that you're a bit breathless so…"

"Stop trying to outsmart me, Kain Akatsuki!" she hissed impatiently despite her fair cheeks tinged still with a lovely pink shade. "You didn't answer my last question. I asked you, did you… peep at me from outside the window, before you interrupting Saeko?"

"Why do you want to know?" Kain answered evasively. Needless to say, he was partially entertained by Ruka's perseverance on getting his confirmation even though she naturally should've guessed by herself what had happened. After all, he had just barged into the drawing room and given very precise comments regarding her previous attire when it was already clear between them that he wasn't a psychic despite his excellent ability at reading her mind.

"Just answer, would you?" she bit back in a barely controlled pitch.

If Ruka had more childishness in her hot tempered character, Kain could practically imagine her stamping an angry foot upon the innocent grass beneath her expensive sandal. He couldn't help a small smile escaping his lips at the image. At the same time, Kain was a little amazed when he realized how good his own mood was today in that he could take in all that ominous air Ruka was displaying, and very positively as well.

Ruka, however, was totally nonplussed and whipped him a death glare over his smile.

"Hey, relax! Honestly, I can't see what the difference is between getting a glimpse of you changing your clothes, and seeing you in your swimming attire," Kain replied in a smooth, calm tone that belied any trace of discomfort. He knew he wasn't really lying but neither was he revealing the entire truth.

Of course there was difference. A_ big_ difference, in fact. A difference that made Kain's heart leap longingly inside his chest at the mere recollection of what he had accidentally viewed from outside of the drawing room.

_A vision of perfection, of heavenly proportions._

That was why there was no question at all as to whether he should tell Ruka or not. He wisely concluded that he still wished to keep his own well-being intact.

"So you did peep on me!" Ruka gasped, her russet eyes enlarging in disbelief, snapping Kain out of his reverie.

"Ouch, Ruka," he tried for an injured expression over Ruka's harsh tone. "I was just coincidentally passing by the drawing room, on my way back from the kitchen. Don't you think it better that I was the one who found out and reminded you, rather than someone else like maybe… the gardener?"

Ruka's mouth opened and closed several time in utter distress. She obviously couldn't think of a come back retort this time. Kain noticed that her blush grew even deeper, courtesy of his comments, although she still managed to keep her glare on a lethal level.

"Oh, come on now," Kain sighed and decided that it was literally enough already for Ruka. Besides, he didn't fancy her being upset for too long. The tall noble stepped closer and in a swift motion, wrapped his fingers around her right wrist, pulling her firmly as he started to walk again. He had expected some kind of resistance from her, but was relieved when she just silently complied to being guided.

"Don't think about it too much, Ruka. If you wanna blame it on somebody later, I'll get you your reckless head servant for choosing that room in the first place, and also forgot to draw the curtain closed to protect you from any prying eyes. But for now, what's done is done and we should get going."

It was a full one minute before he heard Ruka voicing out his name again. "Akatsuki…"

"Hm?" he responded, not dropping their pace.

"Don't – please don't ever mention this to anybody."

Kain stopped abruptly in his tracks.

_Don't ever mention this to anybody?_

Did Ruka seriously think that he would somehow boast of his lucky chance at seeing her bare, flawless figure? He shook his head in disbelief. Hell was going to freeze over first, before _that_ happened. One thing for sure, Ruka's sentence showed that she didn't know him well enough in this regard and he felt a bit disappointed at that fact.

"Don't worry, Ruka," he answered evenly, still giving her his back and not letting her hand free. "If it's regarding you, I don't fancy _sharing_ it with anybody."

Ruka's heart thumped uneasily within her ribcage upon hearing Kain's answer. She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling more than a little confused at her involuntary physical reaction. The thing was, she couldn't be sure of what had caused her pulse to accelerate like this. It could be his suddenly tightening grip around her wrist… or maybe the fact that his words could very easily be translated into – again – an obvious hint of unusual possessiveness… or maybe the deep, serious tone of his voice that sounded rather too composed, as if he was trying to restrain himself as he spoke.

Was he mad at her because she wouldn't just drop the subject as he'd told her? "A-Akatsuki…?" she said hesitatingly, anxiously eyeing Kain's tense shoulders. "Um… are you-"

Much to her puzzlement, Kain twisted around, his firm lips forming a very brief, mildly mocking smile. "But of course, that would also depend on your interest. I wouldn't mind being your Promotions Manager, you know."

Ruka fixed her shocked gaze on Kain's good-humored display. She could find no sign of anger or distress on his face at all… Oh, help – so he _was_ just kidding her!

"For heaven's sake, Akatsuki!" she replied, feeling half relieved and half goaded.

Kain merely responded with a quirk of his brows. He resumed leading the way leisurely while Ruka trailed behind with her eyes cast down – pondering over the sight of their joined hands.

─oOo─

Ruka scooped the last of her blueberry-vanilla homemade ice cream sundae with a sigh. She was also absently mindedly admiring the deft way Kain worked as he gathered up the used plates, bowls and drinking glasses as well as the discarded food wrappings and stowed everything back in the picnic basket. They had had a delicious and satisfying dinner, not a full five course one her family usually dined on at home, but nonetheless more than what one could expect when having an outdoor picnic.

Kain hadn't brought with him the common and convenient type of picnic food like sandwiches or snacks. Instead he had produced 'real' food from the basket he was carrying, setting them out after they had sat down on top of a nicely spread blanket. Ruka hadn't paid any attention at first, since she was occupied by the rather stunning night scenery of the small lake in front of her. She wondered since when had she forgotten about this particular area within her family's extensive homestead. Then she'd turned around with the intention of asking Kain how he could have known about this place when her eyes finally fell on the collaborative arrangement of food her mahogany haired friend was preparing.

There was prawn and mango cocktail for a starter and creamy wild mushroom soup, followed by lamb cutlet with rosemary gravy, all washed down with a nicely chilled French Cabernet Sauvignon red wine. Other than the ice cream, there was also a small basket of sunkissed peaches and fresh black grapes.

Ruka could only shake her head in disbelief as Kain informed her that all of it was obtained from her family's head cook at his mere mention of an outdoor picnic.

"So," Kain's voice broke into her musings, and Ruka reflexively lifted her eyes up to his questioning pair of chocolate orbs. "Was it good?" he cocked his head towards the empty glass in Ruka's hand.

"Oh, this is undoubtedly Yui's creation," she pointed to the empty glass with her held spoon. "Of course it's good. She's the best desert specialist I've ever come across. Too bad you only brought one portion." She ended her line with a smile, somehow feeling more than happy over the fact that even though she knew Kain didn't have a sweet tooth like she did, he had still brought dessert that he thought she might like.

"I'll give it a try next time," he promised as he took away the used spoon and empty cup from her and kept them back in the basket. "Would you like to eat some fruit now?"

Ruka shook her head gently. "No, thanks, I'm quite full already."

Having no other things to do, Ruka went back to enjoying the lake's moonlit scenery while on her right side, Kain leaned back leisurely against the trunk of a large tree just behind him. They were sitting on a smooth, grassy area nestled between its large, protruding roots. Ruka let the cool night wind play against her hair while her eyes locked on a simple wooden pier that stretched out over the placid lake for a good forty feet not far from where they sat.

She shifted her sitting position and retracted her long slender legs closer to her chest ─ arms circling around them loosely. There was something about the pier that nudged at her memories, bringing with it a nostalgic remembrance of a long ago summer night in her childhood where she, Kain and Aidou managed to escape from their escort's watch and spent their time together playing around this very same lake. It had been ages ago, and she was undoubtedly very young at that time, which was probably why she'd forgotten about the lake's existence for a while. But now as Ruka slowly tried to remember, she could recall the part where Kain had had a hard time pulling Aidou out of the lake since the younger of two cousins had accidentally fallen in out of his own recklessness.

Ruka couldn't help a small smile playing across her lips at the recollection. Too bad Aidou wasn't here now, she wouldn't complain of a chance to tease the blond playboy for his clumsy attitude back then. Yes, clumsy, hot-tempered and impulsive, that was Aidou for certain. One or two of these negative traits had even earned the young aristocrat a humiliating slap from Kaname-sama…

The faint smile faded away from Ruka's lips as she remembered the time Kaname-sama had slapped Aidou hard in front of everybody the night Ichiou made a visit to Cross Academy. Even though most of the other students saw the event as something dire and even embarrassing for Aidou, Ruka had thought otherwise. What she had in mind – after her initial shock – was how lucky the young noble was to receive a slap from the pureblood, however humiliating and hurtful it might have been at that time. Others might think her opinion odd, but the truth was, she knew Kaname-sama had done that out of care and concern for his impulsive noble friend. He might not have explained his action to the shocked vampires who had witnessed the occasion, but nevertheless Ruka saw through him and his true intentions.

She had ended up sick with jealousy over the attention Aidou had gotten from his beloved pureblood leader.

Why was it _never_ her turn to get what Aidou received from Kaname-sama? Being on the receiving end of the purebolod's rare affection, never mind if it was in the form of a sharp and publicly dealt slap and not a salutation of praise?

The feel of someone gently caressing her long hair abruptlysnapped Ruka out of her increasingly miserable thoughts and she turned her head around automatically.

Kain met her mildly shocked gaze with a pair of clear, chocolate eyes that shone with a thread of undeciphered emotion. The fingers of his left hand were frozen in mid-air with the ends of her honey-blond locks twining around them, the rest of it flowing freely in the brisk night wind. Ruka knitted her brows together as she started searching for a name or a definition to match the elusive, unguarded expression she could see in his eyes. But before she could come up with any, Kain had quickly dropped his gaze and hand back to his lap. A second later, when he lifted his eyes once more to hers, curiosity was the only thing she could find in their depths.

"You were very quiet," he began softly as he observed her carefully. "Thinking of something?"

The question was casually voiced, but even so, it managed to leave Ruka's breath hitching in her throat. Did Kain know that she was _once_ _again_ thinking about Kaname-sama...? Was that why he was wearing that expression just now? If she was a paranoid sort of person, she would have sworn that he was in a way akin to her second brother - a mind reader.

But Kain did have a knack of reading her thoughts. Years of being friends with him had confirmed this. And especially now, the way he had deliberately interrupted her thoughts was so precisely timed to the point that she knew it had indeed been a purposeful gesture.

Ruka froze at the idea as she realized something else. Wait a minute… that's right! That was the only explanation. She didn't know how Kain did it, but he most certainly had just read her thoughts like an open book and that was why he had intentionally cut off her train of thought about the pureblood.

Damn it! Why she was always that… _transparent_ to him?

Ruka pressed her lips together in self irritation. "Not really," she gave a dismissive shrug and turned back to her earlier position to avoid the tall vampire's inquisitive eyes.

The two of them sat there for a full minute of silence before Ruka felt Kain's fingers on her hair again, gently catching some of her wind-swept tresses. It was kind of distracting for her at first, but she willed herself not to turn around for the second time. It was just Kain anyway, and a mere hair touching gesture. Maybe he was bored, or maybe the wind had made her long hair tickle his face since he was practically sitting behind her.

Feeling more relaxed as she gradually grew accustomed to his touch, Ruka let her attention wander back to the lake, while she willed herself not to think about Kaname again. Well, at least _not_ when she was under Kain's sharp surveillance, although she couldn't exactly pinpoint for whose sake she was trying to guard her mind like this.

Determined in pursuing her original objective, she let her enhanced vampire vision take in the scenery and surroundings with full interest. It was actually dark out here but Ruka found no difficulties with her keen senses. After a while, her attention was caught by some foreign objects beside the lake that she couldn't quite indentify.

Puzzled, she leaned forward a bit and focused her vampire vision more intensely. But she still couldn't make out what were those things she'd been staring at. "Akatsuki, what are those?" she turned her head towards Kain as she asked.

"Hm?"

"There, just across the lake," Ruka pointed with her finger to emphasize the direction. "What are those?

She heard Kain move behind her, undoubtedly trying to give himself a better view. "You mean those small, glowing green and yellow lights flying just above the marsh?"

Lord, were Kain's eyes sharper than hers? Ruka nodded. "Yes, what are those?"

"They're fireflies. Haven't you seen them before?" Kain shifted forward a little more, kneeling at her side.

Ruka's eyes grew larger. "Fireflies?" she echoed in a fascinated manner. "No, I haven't seen them up until now. Only read about them from… somewhere before."

"The 'somewhere' you mentioned was our biology book, Ruka," Kain couldn't resist teasing her a little, knowing Ruka's indifference towards science.

"Whatever, _sensei_," she retaliated exasperatedly, half glaring at him.

Kain gave a soft chuckle but said nothing more as he slowly sat down next to her. Ruka could feel his eyes resting on her – perhaps taking pleasure in watching her unveiled interest towards the synchronous flashes of the glowing insects coming from the far end of the lake.

"Hey, you want to take a closer look?"

Ruka's head whipped around, suspecting that she had heard wrong this time. "What?"

"The fireflies," Kain repeated. "Do you want to take a closer look at them?"

"Is that possible?"

"Of course." Kain nodded then straightened to his feet. "Come on, follow me."

Out of curiosity, Ruka rose and went after the mahogany haired vampire who headed towards the direction of the pier.

"Look," he waved towards the other end of the long pier made of wooden planks, that stretched out seemingly endlessly over the vast body of water.

Ruka paused uncertainly at the lake's shoreline, near the beginning of the pier. She wanted to proceed, to take a closer look at the fireflies as Kain had suggested, but the placid water below the wooden dock was too much of an intimidation for her.

Sensing that Ruka had stopped following him and hearing no response coming from her, Kain eventually turned around and almost smacked his own head for his recklessness.

Ruka was afraid of going near places that had a massive amount of water present and gathered. Damn, how could he have forgotten about that? What was he thinking anyway?

Sighing to himself, Kain swiftly trotted back to her, words of apology ready on his lips.

They never had their chance to be spoken, though.

Because the closer he brought himself back to Ruka, the clearer he could see her expression. Yes, the beauty was certainly afraid of the prospect of having to walk over the water. But then again, fear wasn't the only emotion reflected in her eyes now. There was no mistaking the tiny spark of interest there, aside from her apparent nervousness and discomfort whenever her gaze swept over the gently lapping water not far from where she stood.

Kain joined his brows together. Well, in that case…

"Ruka," he moved to close the gap between them by standing right in front of her, effectively blocking her view of the water while claiming her full attention at the same time.

With nothing else to look at, Ruka had no choice but to meet his gaze now. "Yes?"

"There's nothing to be afraid of, you know," Kain said in a soft tone. "I'll watch over you. Promise."

Ruka stared back at him in surprise for a couple of seconds before severing their eye contact. "I…"

"Come on, Ruka…" Kain was relentless now, speaking even a little rapidly. " A few days ago, after that incident with Ryuji at the swimming pool, you said that you trusted me to keep you safe. You said that after what had happened you would not be afraid of water anymore no matter how many times you might fall in. You said that as long as I was there, you would be just fine. That's what you said to me. Have you forgotten all that?"

If Kain had seen that Ruka was terrified and hadn't looked like she was arguing with herself on whether or not to proceed, he would have certainly stopped persuading her already. In fact, he wouldn't even have _started._ But this not being the case, he knew that he shouldn't stop. Not so soon.

He decided to use an old trick to break Ruka's lack of response. "Or… don't you trust me anymore now?"

As expected, the honey-blond vampire's eyes swung back to him. "Of course not!" she replied in a half outburst mode. "I do trust you. You're after all, the best swimmer I've ever seen so far."

A small smile played on Kain's lips at Ruka's impulsively said, but nonetheless honest comments. So she had been watching him swim laps in that pool a couple of days ago, huh?

"So what's stopping you now, Ruka?" he sent her an inquiring gaze. "I know that you wanted to have a closer look at those fireflies, and I've promised to keep you safe. I only need your confirmation and we can carry on, you know."

Ruka bit her lower lips and shot Kain an extended look. This was really a hard choice. If she deferred, Kain would think that she wasn't serious about her own words. On the other hand, accepting the offer would mean that she had to follow him out onto the pier. Right out over the dark water that he strategically blocked from her view now. Oh well, it looked like she didn't have much of a choice here, did she?

Ruka drew a deep breath and silently prayed that she hadn't made the wrong choice. "All right then, Akatsuki, take me there," she finally answered.

--oOo--

**End note:** Just a thought… Is anyone ever confusing themselves regarding the difference of vampire time and human time? Anybody? Coz' apparently, I am :x. Because, if you think again, they kinda stay awake for approximately twelve hours, aren't they? They wake up at the sunset and sleep at sunrise (Such a sleepy head…we human don't sleep the moment sun is missing from the horizon!).

Well actually, what I'm going to say is, when I write like 'last night' that would mean like six a.m in human time and when I describe 'afternoon', then it will be like one or two a.m for them. So, I'm sorry if any of you reading this story feeling confused of my time reference. I can do nothing to fix it, I'm confused myself! :P


	16. Dreaming the Impossible

**Author's note:** Finally, here come another updates… As usual, the chapter was beta'ed by YenGirl, so my biggest thanks go especially for her :). Thanks also for all of you who have patiently bear with my uber slowness in writing −rolls eyes−

* * *

_These glorious evenings of ours,_

_your sweet scent in the air,_

_those sprouts of your smile,_

_will always be my treasures._

_Coz' on these flawless days,_

_my heart learns to comprehend_

_the true beauty of loving,_

_and the bitter-sweet of longing,_

_for one unreachable..._

**Chapter 16. Dreaming the Impossible**

Kain cautiously readjusted his sitting position before resuming rowing the small boat across the lake. He was very careful not to make any unnecessary movements that might cause the tiny boat to rock and make Ruka, who was sitting opposite him, feel more nervous than she already was. Kain noticed that she was trying her best to stay calm although ever since she had stepped into the boat and sat down, Ruka never once let go of her death grip on the polished wooden plank she was sitting on and had not even once looked at their surroundings. The female beauty was just sitting there stiffly with her eyes fixed on one of the boat's floorboards as if by doing so, it could prevent anything bad from happening.

Kain frowned as he took in each detail of Ruka's trepidation, silently pondering if his decision to coax her into this earlier had been right or not. Maybe all of this was just too much for the girl after all and he would be damned if he put her through anymore torture.

Shaking his head a little, Kain returned the boat's twin paddles back to their axis and released them before shifting forward to gently touch Ruka's right shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked in a quiet tone. He had to make sure that she wouldn't suddenly turn hysterical otherwise the two of them would surely be in trouble.

Ruka didn't answer him immediately and instead, gripped the wooden plank even harder, turning her knuckles white.

Kain gritted his teeth and started silently cursing at himself. "Ruka, it's okay…" he said gently after a moment and reached out for her hands, trying to slowly pry them off the wood. He was actually more than a little anxious that the female vampire would eventually crush the plank under her strength and hurt her palms in the process. "Look at me, please."

Very slowly, Ruka lifted her terrified gaze to meet him in the eye.

Kain's frown deepened. _This wasn't right_, he decided as he observed her open look of distress. It looked like he had indeed pushed her far beyond what she could take at this current time. "Would you prefer us to go back instead?"

There was a long moment of silence as Ruka seemed to consider his offer before she shook her head and said something that definitely went against his better judgment. "I'm fine, Akatsuki. Let's just go on."

_No, you don't look anything near fine. _"Are you sure?"

Ruka gave a weak nod as an answer then dropped her gaze back to its previous spot ─ the boat's floorboard.

Kain released a long sigh, staring at Ruka's bowed head. It was one thing to heed her wish and another thing altogether to see her this frightened because of his doing. Well, he had to do something about this…

Hoping to heaven that what he was going to do wouldn't scare Ruka anymore than she already was, Kain half rose to his feet and stepped over to her back. Before Ruka was even aware of what he was doing, he swiftly sat down again, positioning himself on the cramped space right behind her in one smooth, fluid movement. Kain made a quick adjustment around her petite body so that she was now sitting between his long legs.

Kain's movementsand the presence of a warm chest pressed against her back made Ruka turn around halfway to peek at her friend confusedly.

"Just relax," Kain suggested in a gentle tone but he avoided looking at her. Instead, he kept his head up with his eyes gazing straight ahead.

Ruka bit her lower lip, averting her attention from the horrible way the boat had moved when Kain shifted earlier. But even in the midst of her acute nervousness at the vast display of water around her and her desperate attempts to control her fear, she could sense that there was something Kain had in mind that had caused him to suddenly move close to her. All he had said was for her to relax, but Ruka couldn't help but feel that there was something more he wanted to say, only he didn't.

She shifted a little, a bit confused as she pondered those two words he had uttered – 'Just relax'. How on earth would she be able to do that with him spooning her from behind? Not that it was actually unpleasant to have him so close to her like this… In fact, it somehow felt… nice. It was just that she didn't know in _which_ direction she should position herself now, so she could be… well, a bit more relaxed. Should she just stay as she was now? Or should she lean forward? Lean back even more? Would Kain mind if she leaned back against him and used his chest as a support? Maybe it wouldn't be too comfortable since he still needed to continue working the paddles, right?

A pair of firm hands that caught her shoulders and briefly drew her back against a strong chest broke off her irresolute thoughts. "Relax, Ruka. You can hold onto me and close your eyes if you don't want to look at the water."

If it were under any circumstances, there would be no doubt at all that Ruka would certainly turn the offer down flat. It wasn't her usual habit anyway, to hang onto someone else like this ─ and most of all to her friend, Kain Akatsuki.

However, she was unable to stop herself from doing what he suggested this time. It didn't matter that Kain's act, along with his tone of words had already revealed to her how aware he was of her fear. It also didn't matter that she would betray her own impulsively spoken words about how she wouldn't be afraid of water anymore, just as long as he was nearby. Ruka knew she just had to take up whatever helps available before her fear turned into real panic.

Turning to her right side, Ruka gently let herself rest between Kain's protective arms. She had to release her death grip from the seat and place both her hands on her lap at the same time as her new position no longer allowed her to cling onto the wood, but she prevented herself from holding onto him or even closing her eyes. Ruka still had way too much pride to make herself look like a seasick ─ or in her case, lakesick ─ passenger.

Besides, it was more than enough already. Being so close to Kain like this, Ruka could feel his body warmth seeping through the material of his shirt since his jacket was unbuttoned, while his ever so familiar scent surrounded her, making her feel… safe. Yes, Kain's closeness made her feel very safe ─ whether she wanted to admit it or not.

A small frown appeared on Ruka's beautiful features. So strange… when had she started to feel this comfortable around him? Wasn't it only recently that she noticed herself reacting nervously to each of Kain's attempts at physical contact? But now, it just felt so easy and even natural for her to use him as a support, to let him completely take her weight. Was it because she was in such a frightened state that she could barely make any objections at her own actions?

Well, Ruka honestly didn't have the answer to her own questions. In fact, she felt like she knew nothing about herself these days. Her life had certainly turned into a whopping emotional roller coaster, such that even her inner thoughts were confusing her…

Kain was more than relieved as he observed how the previously anxious beauty was now starting to relax against him. She still wore a small frown between her fine eyebrows and refused to follow his suggestion to close her eyes, but other than that, she looked much better than before. _This is_ _fine_, he thought contentedly. After all, he didn't expect Ruka to heed him all that much, and Kain took it as a good sign that he wasn't required to use any extra effort to coax her into taking up his offered support.

A small, unguarded smile played on Kain's lips as he felt Ruka shift ever so slightly against him. He had never thought that it would feel so good to have someone resting against him like this, as if that person trusted him wholeheartedly.

He frowned at the thought. No wait, that was wrong, please _correct_ that. The truth was, it didn't simply feel good just because _someone_ was resting against him, but because that someone was _Ruka_.

Kain sighed in his heart. It was wonderful to have her this close to him. To be able to take in the soft fragrance of her long hair with each breath, to be able to hear each of her softly drawn breaths and to be aware of her every move, however subtle. Really, what had he done in the past to make him worthy enough of such… luxury?

A small voice was telling him something inside his head about the way he should _properly_ react to all this, but Kain didn't fancy listening to it at the moment. Conscience be damned, he knew that he might never live to experience such a heavenly occurrence ever again.

Leaning forward a little, Kain reached for the boat paddles once more and began to happily re-work his way towards the other side of the lake. It took a good fifteen minutes before he deemed that they were close enough and gradually slowed down his rowing to bring the boat to a gentle stop.

Ruka noticed that the boat had ceased to move across the lake and drew herself away from Kain. She sat up straight once again, although still facing right. "So, we stop here?" she inquired.

Kain sighed unconsciously as his chest lost the soft warmth of Ruka's body. He looked down to catch the sight of the beauty now briefly glancing around at their surroundings, before finally locking her gaze at the flying dots of light fifty feet away from their boat.

"Oh, they're so beautiful…" she slowly whispered as she stared at the sight.

Kain's rueful expression broke into a fond smile. Ruka was looking as if she was afraid that she would somehow break the almost magical scene in front of her if she spoke any louder. "I'm sorry that I can't bring us closer to that marsh in any way, since our presence will disrupt and eventually drive them away. This is as near as we can go."

There was no doubt at all that if there was a way to bring them right to the middle of the practically glowing marsh, Kain would certainly have give anything that he owned in exchange for that. Only now, there wasn't. He couldn't change the fact that both of them were vampires. They were feared by other living beings. "They don't like… us," he added, stating the obvious.

The regret-laden answer from Kain made Ruka join her fine brows together and her eyes quickly found his. Indeed, there was a streak of remorse inside his eyes that accompanied his spoken line. From the way he said the word '_us_', she knew what he was trying to say. That he felt sorry over the fact that the two of them were vampires and that he was sorry that he couldn't do anything about that and thus, failed to fulfill her silent wish.

Ruka shook her head slowly, feeling somewhat torn between mild irritation and awe for her dear friend. Yes, sometimes Kain's perseverance and neverending patience could easily irritate her.

Especially lately, as she started to notice this one particular, yet familiar trait he had. She even felt guilty a couple of times when seeing him go through whatever ordeal that was created by her doing. All she could think was, _who_ was she anyway? What right did she own in her hands to make him do the sort of things he did for her sake? She was a noble yes, but then so was he. She was no princess and he wasn't her knight.

She was just his childhood friend, the one that he cared for, according to what he said. But then again, Ruka knew that friends just didn't care for each other in the special way Kain had cared for her.

If that was the case, then what was it that made her worth his effort?

Ruka didn't understand it. She knew nothing of his true reason yet she had to admit that at some point it touched her, that great resilience and tolerance of his. Never had he once asked for anything in return. In fact, he had even gotten mad once, hearing her stupid concept of 'fairness' even though she merely offered that for his own good, because she didn't know of any other way to stop him from being the victim of her selfish attitude.

And as if it wasn't enough that she often added complications to his life with her sometimes absurd, neverending requests, he also had an excellent ability to detect even her unspoken wishes. Like how he wished that they were not vampires in the first place just so that he could take her nearer, right to the center of that marsh. It was beyond his power to do anything about it, nevertheless, he wished he could.

Ruka blew her breath out in exasperation. She knew how much was 'too much' and she could tell that _this_ one was too much. Albeit she had to admit that the way Kain sincerely trying to make her happy was one that pleased her very much.

Ruka placed a hand on his left one before giving it a light, approving squeeze. "I know, Akatsuki," she smiled softly. "And this distance is enough. It's fine this way."

Kain was caught by surprise, not at what Ruka had said but at the way she looked at him. There was gratitude shining inside her gentle russet eyes and she was giving him one of her rare, warm smiles.

Both of them combined to instantly make something kickstart to urgent, vibrant life inside his chest.

"Well, if you say so," he replied rather unevenly, suddenly feeling distracted and confused at his own weird reaction.

Ruka nodded at him before turning her attention back to the fireflies again.

Feeling that he should occupy his own time and attention, rather than following the uncertain direction his mind was heading that could lead him to unpredictable results, Kain decided to join in the observation of the fiery insects. Even if this was not the first time he had ever seen fireflies, it was certainly the first time he had watched them together with Ruka. If anything, he wanted to remember every detail of this little time they spent together.

There were quite a number of fireflies tonight, he noted. Maybe because it was the start of summer and the area around the lake was growing warmer, even though once in a while, a cool wind would pick up and blow across the lake. Kain had to admit that it was beautiful. The fair number of the glowing beetles had caused the marshes to look like they were caught in a yellow-green fire.

"Did you know that fireflies also glow in the daytime?"

Ruka turned to face him, brows raised. "They do?"

"Yes, only that we can hardly see them."

"Obviously, Akatsuki. I don't fancy going out in broad daylight myself."

"Right," Kain chuckled at her comment. "But that's not exactly what I mean, Ruka. These glowing beetles actually glow in daytime, but most people can't see that and I'm not just talking about us. They can hardly be seen because the strong sunlight beats their weaker lights. It's in a way similar to the moon and also… the stars." He pointed upwards at the starry sky to emphasize his words, making Ruka also tilt her head upwards to gaze the velvet night sky which were adorned by millions of dazzlingly, sparkling stars.

"You also can't see the moon clearly in the sky during daytime," Kain continued, "because the sun is shining way too bright. And at night, the bright city light often masks the presence of stars in the sky. It's all the same. These things, they're always there. Only that you never notice them, because you're being blinded by a stronger source of light."

Ruka blinked. She could've sworn that she had gone crazy. One second she was sitting there, listening to Kain's scientific-sounding explanation and the next, all she could think about were these almost insane thoughts.

The sun and the moon.

Kaname and Kain.

The analogy fitted both of them so acutely it almost sounded like a joke. She certainly didn't know if Kain had told her this for a purpose. But she believed he didn't. There was a big chance that he wasn't even aware of what she was now thinking about his words right now. Of how perfectly the analogy of the sun and moon fitted Kaname and himself. Certainly, these were two different subjects altogether, but Ruka could still recognize the similarities they had to each other.

The sun. Yes, Kaname would very much fit the sun. Born at the top of their hierarchy, he was so blindingly bright and enticing. He had the power to occupy everyone's attention, whether he himself was present or not. But like any other high born person, he was unreachable, undefeatable. His overflowing power and charisma had caused the rest of other vampires nobles in the Night Class to never have the chance to match themselves against him… and win. Of course, Kain ─ the moon ─ was no exclusion to this. It was even worse since this certain friend of hers was a calm and quiet individual who often chose to fade into the background as he followed their leader without question.

Another realization was dawning fast inside Ruka's mind. How right her Grandmother was when the older lady had once deemed that her only granddaughter never really looked at her friend's direction and had never really known him despite the years she spent with him. Ruka was thoroughly confused at that time, not knowing what Yoshiko had tried to point out. But now she finally understood.

She just never paid any attention to Kain – that much was a fact − because she had always been blinded by Kaname.

"Ruka…?"

Ruka blinked and looked up into a pair of observant orbs. "Uh…?" Oh, _great,_ Kain must've been speaking to her and realized that she wasn't listening to him.

He gave her a curious smile. "You're drifting off."

"Oh, I'm just ─" embarrassed, Ruka fumbled for a reason. "I'm just thinking about… um… about… why the marsh's plantation seems to glow." _Better than nothing. _She silently huffed to herselfand prayed that Kain wouldn't asked her any further questions about what was actually occupying her mind earlier.

Luckily, Kain accepted her poorly supplied answer. "Glowing?" he echoed as he diverted his gaze towards the marsh. "Well, of course they are, because fireflies' larva also glow just like the adult fireflies do. That's why the marsh is glowing like that. And if they live and breed on a tree, you can get a view similar to a brightly lit Christmas tree that humans like, you know."

Ruka smiled at the mental image of a one hundred percent natural Christmas tree without any need for artificial lighting. "Hm, that would be beautiful, to have them replace the electric light bulbs."

"Well, as far as I know, human children sometimes love to do that."

"Eh, do what?"

"Catch the fireflies and keep them in a glass jar as a source of light," Kain explained, "or for fun. They do give decent light if there's no other stronger lighting source nearby. You can even try to tie the jar to a piece of stick and use it as a lantern."

"Oh… a lantern, huh? Does the light last long?"

Kain smiled. He was starting to get a really good idea on what the beauty in front of him currently had in her thoughts, judging from the way she asked the question and the obviously interested look in her eyes. "Well, I'm not sure. But I suppose they could last a couple of days if you provide them with good air circulation. By the way, you're not thinking of doing that, right?" he prompted.

"Do_ what_?" Ruka gave him an innocent look, one delicate brow arched.

"Do _that_. Come on, you know perfectly well what I mean."

Her lips twisted into a sheepish smile. "No, of course not. I wish I could, though," she said in an almost wistful tone as she gazed at the far spreading marsh. She knew that there was no way she could try to do what human children could − get close enough to catch and play with the fireflies.

Suddenly realizing that there was no reply coming from Kain, she peered up to find him with his eyes gazing off into the distance, strangely unfocused. "And you said that I'm drifting off…"

Surprised, the mahogany haired vampire was quick to blink off his daze, but Ruka already decided not to miss her good chance of needling him now. "Thinking of something?"

Kain wanted to sigh and laugh at the same time. Ruka's previous answer had indeed made something enter his mind and he couldn't help pondering on it for a bit. But he just couldn't believe that she noticed that and seized him up on it. It was so obvious that now it was his turn to dig for words. _Damn._

"Um, no I−" he was undecided between telling her of what he'd been thinking or simply producing an excuse.

Then it happened, with an almost miraculous timing - a sudden strong wind caused the lake waters to ripple and the small boat they were in started swaying from side to side.

Ruka gave a small gasp. Eyes shutting tightly, she reflexively clung onto the front part of Kain's jacket for support. Both the sound of the water gently slapping against the side of the boat as well as the sudden, swaying movements had surprised her and caused her momentarily forgotten anxiety to return fast. It was actually a bit embarrassing for her to pounce on Kain like this, but she just couldn't help it.

"Hey, it's okay, Ruka," Kain's calming voice was promptly heard as she felt a warm hand on her back. "It's just the wind. Maybe it's going to rain."

Ruka was trying to reply when another strong surge of wind swept over the lake and once again rocked their boat. She tightened her grip on Kain's jacket with another gasp.

"We − should…go back…" she choked off the words.

She was hoping that Kain would answer her immediately. But against her expectation, the mahogany haired vampire continued to be silent for a while and just sat there unmovingly as if waiting for the wind to calm down.

"Akatsuki…!" she demanded agitatedly.

She felt him shift a little against her. "Maybe that's not a good idea," he responded in a soft, tranquil manner.

"What do you mean!? Why?" she half snapped back. Damn Kain and his untimely application of her former suggestion about taking liberties… Couldn't he see how anxious she was now? Honestly, this was not an appropriate time for him to start obeying her wish! She just wanted him to get them back to the shore. She had had enough of fireflies watching anyway, and didn't fancy being toppled into the lake, courtesy of the strong breeze.

Again getting no immediate reply from Kain, Ruka forced herself to look up.

"Akatsuki, this isn't −"

But she never got her sentence finished because as soon as she tried to fix her eyes on Kain, she was in awe and practically forgot what she was going to say. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of small, glowing lights flying in the air around them now. They were gently circling around the boat, gliding low over the surface of the black waters, filling the starry midnight sky above and showering both of them with a soft, green and golden radiance. At first Ruka couldn't quite understand of what her eyes were seeing. She just stared speechless at those seemingly magical flying objects around them.

And finally, it dawned on her.

The fireflies. They were thousands of firelies, and they were _everywhere_ surrounding them. The harshly blowing wind must have driven the tiny insects away from their breeding marsh towards the spot where she and Kain had stopped.

"It's because of this…" she heard Kain finally answer her earlier question.

"The fireflies… they're everywhere!" Ruka couldn't keep the apparent astonishment and delight from her voice. She turned her gaze this way and that, looking around them, eagerly taking in the stunning sight. Her former fear was quickly diminished, being replaced by enthusiasm.

Kain wanted to give a satisfied smile at Ruka's pleased expression, but the smile died on his lips when a warm, slender body came into contact with his own, the same time a pair of equally warm and slender arms closed around his waist.

"Thank you, Akatsuki," came half whispered words, muffled against the material of his jacket.

A part of Kain's brain wanted to ask the beauty what was she thanking him for. Because what had happened wasn't his doing at all and they were merely fortunate to have the wind blow at the right place and in the right direction. But since he couldn't think properly − let alone form a complete sentence and utilize it to question the now clingy female vampire − he just stayed very, very still, trying not to make any sort of movement, afraid that if he did, he would prematurely end this rare and precious moment.

Ruka had really caught him by with surprise because the beauty he knew would certainly never do an impulsive act like this − mentally throw him off balance with her spontaneous hug.

Unsure of how to react but not wanting to be seen like some kind of idiot who had never been hugged by a girl before, Kain eventually put a tentative hand on Ruka's back. And again, as always, it felt so right when he did that, when he touched her. So perfectly right, so _frighteningly_ right.

Yes, no matter whether he dared to admit it or not, Kain could no longer deny that he had a growing attraction towards his childhood friend… and it scared him to death. He might be a naïve person for not noticing right away when he had started to develop these unusual feelings for her, but he was most certainly not a stupid one. For the last few days, the mahogany haired vampire had carefully examined his own feelings. The more he did, the more aware he was of how complex his current condition was. For the first time in his life, Kain was utterly confused and unsure of what to do. He could do nothing more than to apply the usual "trial and error" method he did when solving every problem he encountered in the past.

This was certainly harder to do than endure the various trials his life was sometimes was with that troublemaker cousin of his…

One way or another, Kain was aware that he should stop his rash and spontaneous reactions towards these matters, like what he what he had almost done to her after their first date to town outside her room door and not to mention a few others, including the incident he caused at the swimming pool. Those were risky moments and he needed to be more careful since he knew that every time he acted without any involvement of his brain, his decisions inevitably turned out to be epic failures.

So ironic. Who would've thought that he, Kain, could actually do irrational and impulsive things with so little encouragement? And he was well known as a composed character all this time. Gee… maybe those silly Day Class girls were right when they nicknamed him _Wild_…

Kain broke off his thoughts when he felt Ruka stir and withdraw herself. Something was telling him to check out her reaction before he decided how to react, so he curiously peered down on her.

Throughout his eighteen years of life, he had gone through countless of intense, heart stopping moments which of course were mostly caused by his damned cousin's doing. But never once had he truly experienced this.

'_Stealing my breath away'_

It was a phrase he had thought he would only experience inside a story book or a song. He had never thought that it could ever happen to himself.

But it did. For long, perfect moment, the sight of Ruka rendered Kain incapable of breathing. It was such a magnificent sight ─ the kind that nothing and no one else could make him take his eyes away from, no matter what they tried to attempt.

Despite being a logical character, Kain found himself unable to explain and unable to pinpoint the exact reason why couldn't avert his gaze now. Sure, Ruka was one beautiful presence he could never deny. And with the ethereal lights coming from the fireflies he found that she looked even more delicate, to the point of being even angelic. But that wasn't the sole reason of his entrancement. Could it be because of the way she was looking up at him? Or the sweet, heart-warming smile she was giving him? Or maybe the fact that _if only _there was something in this world that he could give, in exchange for the possibility of her giving him that kind of look and smile for always, he would happily call it a deal?

Confused beyond all hope, Kain realized that he knew no answer to his own questions. The simple fact was that he just couldn't think anymore.

Ruka could see several different emotions flashing in Kain's rich chocolate eyes. She could identify a couple of them as astonishment and confusion but the others disappeared too quickly before she could pin them with a name. She couldn't help but smile at him. Kain was looking somewhat adorable with all that uncertainty reflected in his eyes. It was obvious that he didn't expect her to thank him, much less enjoy a hug thrown in as well.

_He didn't expect it, yet he deserves so much more than just a hug_, Ruka thought silently. This was one of the things that she most appreciated about Kain, that when he did someone a favor, he did it with no strings attached. There was no catch or hidden motive behind his actions.

Ruka was about to tell Kain not to worry or read too much into her impulsive action when she noticed a subtle change in his expression that made her smile falter. It was his eyes. They were now filled with the barest hints of sadness, longing, denial, pain and disappointment… and this time, Ruka could name them all. While it surprised her to find those emotions in his gaze, they were also oddly familiar at the same time.

Ruka gradually became aware that she had seen the same kind of expression in his eyes recently, although she couldn't quite remember when. She didn't go further in rummaging through her collection of memories, however, for she understood that _when_ was actually the less important matter compared to _why_. Certainly, there must be something that had made Kain look at her this way and she wanted to know why.

But Ruka never had the chance to ask him. Because as quickly as the wistful expression appeared, it was dismissed then replaced by a different expression. This time, it was one she recognized well enough.

If Ruka didn't receive her warning before when Kain had stolen her first kiss from her, she did now. She could see it coming, first in his eyes and slowly followed by his subtle approach. Still, it makes no difference whether she knew it in advance or not.

She could call it curiosity, of course. Or perhaps she was in a daze, or perhaps she owed him some consideration, or whatever reason she could conveniently find and use as her excuse. Nevertheless, she couldn't escape the fact that deep inside, she knew what was going to happen and she had chosen to do nothing to stop it.

She was seriously screwed.

Ruka felt her mind going numb, while nameless emotions and sensations were coursing through her freely at the same time, creating a wildfire from within. Similar to the kiss she had received a couple of days before, this one was also tender and sweet. The only difference was, it didn't matter that Kain was doing everything with an obvious tentativeness in it ─ kissing her ever so gently and timidly placing his hand at the back of her neck ─ the kiss itself turned out to be twice as intense and more mind blowing than the first one had been.

It was simply wonderful, being locked inside the tall vampire's warm and safe embrace. With a tinge of embarrassment, Ruka was suddenly aware that she hadn't released her former hold around Kain's waist. Instead, both of her hands were now beneath his jacket and tightly fisting the back of the soft cotton shirt he wore underneath it. Lord, she acted as if she _didn't_ want their kiss to end.

Wait a minute… did she _truly_ want for this kiss to end after all?

Ruka really didn't know the answer to her own question. Her head was already spinning in a dizzying manner and while trying to make herself steady was proving to be hard enough, she certainly didn't need the extra trouble of having to think of the answer. It was also difficult to tell if her annoying lightheadedness was coming from the boat's slight movements or the blissful kiss Kain was giving her.

Ruka was breathless and more than a bit disoriented when he finally withdrew. The kiss could have lasted for only seconds but to Ruka it felt like forever… yet it had ended all too soon. It was a bit awkward when she felt Kain slowly remove his hands from her and she automatically looked up at him.

Despite her half dazed state and unfocused eyes, she could see that Kain was also caught in a similar state of breathlessness. But that wasn't what made her blink in surprise. It was his stormy eyes, which were now filled with a mix of anxiety, shock and confusion that made her frown. The mahogany haired vampire looked exactly like someone who had just discovered he had made a fatal mistake.

That made something twist painfully inside Ruka's chest and she took a deep breath in a vain attempt to dismiss the sensation. A question abruptly emerged inside her head as she stared at his unexpected reaction and before she could stop herself, the words were already rolling out of her lips.

"Akatsuki, why did you kiss me?"

--oo--


End file.
